Between the Teeth of Lions: Part Four: Demonized Already

[jesterladyfic]

Cordelia’s in more pain than she can ever remember in any lifetime, in any physical state.

And then it’s over.

She’s in…Angel’s room, the hotel, and he’s looming over her. She can see the relief and the knowledge in his eyes.

"What's happening to her?" comes Fred’s voice from somewhere in the background, but Cordelia only looks at Angel.

He lunges forward and crushes her to him and she’d like to remind him about the whole vampire strength thing in a tart tone of voice.

"I thought I'd lost you."

"Angel," she says and she’s so relieved to be back in the hotel with him, in the right reality, and with the right…

No, things are different and she’s not sure if she should be checking for weird demon parts or Kyra the Seer evil tendencies so she does a quick inventory.

Kyra’s memories: check. Visions: check. Feelings: Big check. Desire to maim: Not present. Desire to run through grass: Check.

Now for the physical stuff. She grabs the top of her head.

"No horns." She grabs her backside. "No tail." They all look at her like she’s crazy. "Whew! Just checking." She gets off the bed and stretches because she’s herself again. More fully herself than ever even if she’s sporting a new hairdo and wearing a fantastic dress that is, unfortunately, missing the earrings that match. "It feels so good to be me again."

"Cordelia, what is the last thing you remember?" Wesley asks, going into serious Watcher mode and she has to smile because she’s missed it so.

"When? I've been so... Oh, you mean the vision downstairs. No, I had a vision, but it's been taken care of.”

“Yes, we know,” Wesley says. “But do you remember anything else?”

“I remember a lot of things,” Cordelia says, grinning. “There was this actress, and a one-armed guy.” Wesley glances at his arm suddenly and stumbles back, like he’s not used to it anymore. “Not to mention demons, Elders, and witches. But right now, we have to solve my vision."

"The one we just said was taken care of?" Lorne asks incredulously.

"No, the one I'm having right now. There is a young man in a park in Glendale. Uh, somewhere near a pond. There is a demon waiting for him. He's red with four, no make that five horns. It’s going to happen in….ooh, not till tomorrow, so everybody stand down."

Their faces change as she talks and what’s eating them, she wonders, before she notices they’re kind of flickering in and out of focus.

"Uh, Cordy?" Angel says, pointing.

"What?" she asks, before looking down at herself. She’s the one flickering in and out, or should she say shimmering? “Yes!” she says, shooting her arms up. “Shimmer power still on. This is going to make shopping so much easier.”

It’s not over yet by a long shot because they all have so many questions, so they all settle down into various spots around the room and Cordelia notes with pleasure that Angel’s not leaving her side.

She explains everything. Her vision coma, her actress reality, her demonization that somehow ended up making her full demon, creating an alternate reality, then her death.

“That’s all I know,” she says and then they tell her about their reality where Angel had Doyle’s visions and remembered her and they did spells to remember her and get her back.

“So when they turned me into the Seer, I really became her,” Cordelia surmises. “So when you were trying to pull me back, excellent timing, by the way, it pulled back the body I was currently in which explains the hair and clothes. But why didn’t it just pull back a full-blooded demon?”

“I would hypothesize,” Wesley says, “without being certain since I’d have to research it, that because you remembered who you really were before we pulled you back, that took care of the mental aspect of your current state. As for the body, well, Lorne could sense your essence had been changed and interrupted me mid-spell, demanding we call for the human Cordelia Chase.”

“Then why the shimmer shimmer fun?”

“Perhaps the Powers realized they screwed up and fixed their reality-bending mistake,” Angel supplies.

“Or you needed time to learn how to control the visions with a demon’s powers and so they gave you that mental time,” Wesley added.

“Or maybe I won’t trust Skip so much the next time we meet,” Cordelia mutters under her breath.

She’s not sure of everything that happened, but she’s so glad to be home. So glad to be herself. Really wanting to test out her new shimmer power. And also…

“Where’s Connor?” she asks, grinning. “Where’s cute baby face?”

Angel practically leaps into the other room and retrieves his son, depositing him into Cordelia’s waiting arms.

“He missed you,” Angel says.

“He’s less than a year old,” Cordelia says, rolling her eyes.

“He knows you,” Angel repeats.

Cordelia is too busy kissing and squeezing the baby to answer. Connor giggles and flails his arms around and Cordelia spares a quick moment to give Piper a mental apology for ever doubting that spending time with babies was something precious.

“Never gonna leave you again,” Cordelia says, kissing his cheek.

“Good,” Angel says from behind her.

Cordelia’s really tired and wants to go home. Angel insists on going with her so Lorne watches the baby while the others go home, Wesley grabbing books to take with him.

She wants to shimmer but Angel refuses and drives her.

When Cordelia opens her door she’s met with a rush of air that could be construed as a full body hug from anyone non-corporeal.

“Dennis, I missed you too,” Cordelia says, laughing. “Don’t worry. Not in a coma, not a full demon, totally back to stay.”

A blanket pulls out over her couch and Cordelia falls down on it, patting the spot next to her.

Angel sits down and clears his throat nervously.

“I know you’re mad at me,” Cordelia tells him. “I heard it all doing the ghost thing. I’m sorry, really sorry, but no lectures, okay?”

“I-I’m just glad you’re okay. I’m surprised you even remember that considering what happened in between.”

“I never forget anything you say to me,” Cordelia says. “I may ignore the hell out of it, but I remember it.”

“I’ll remember that,” he says, finally letting the lines in his forehead relax.

“I’m totally older than you now,” she says thoughtfully, pondering the possibilities. “I can’t really remember how old, but you’re like a little baby compared to me now.”

“Yet you act just the same.”

“Duh, I’m me. Anyway…Kyra’s a distant memory, I’m pretty sure everything she did, or I did as her, was only real from about the last few months or so. Everything else just a memory implanted from the Powers or whoever did the transfer.”

“If you need any help…getting used to the memories…”

“I’ll manage, but thank you. I know who to come to for mid-millennia crises.”

“Maybe some things need to change,” he says. “Obviously your acting career is or was more important than any of us thought. With the visions not being so debilitating now maybe you can-“

“Acting…not important,” she cuts him off. “You want to know why I said yes to the offer?”

“Yes.”

“Because I heard you. In the Conduit, telling them I was weak.”

She looks down at her hands, not wanting to look in his eyes and see the reminder of his face at that moment.

“I was weak,” he says and then she looks at him. “I was so angry at you for not telling me and so scared you would die. I thought you were being careless with your own life and that would have made anything okay so long as you didn’t die. You saw what I was like without you in my life. I need you.”

He ducks his head, looking embarrassed.

She’s literally melting inside and that’s slightly embarrassing for an eon old part demon chick with visions.

“I remembered you too,” she finally says, reaching over to take his hand. “And what’s why I came back. I need you too.”

“I can’t go through that again,” he tells her, voice cracking.

“Not really a picnic for me either,” she tells him bluntly. “Not wanting to do it again. Also…demon memories are really gross and evil. True demons anyway, not the good ones like Lorne, and if I ever develop a habit of keeping cauldrons and mixing stuff in them, you have my permission to vanquish me.”

“No.”

She smiles at him.

“Idiot.”

“I guess that means you don’t want your present.”

“No…wanting, still wanting.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the small box and hands it to her.

She opens it carefully and pulls out a beautiful necklace with a filigreed heart hanging from a fine chain. The chain was gold and the heart a light red textured with gold. It was exquisite.

“Angel…” she breathes out. “It’s so gorgeous. Thank you.”

He grins at her and she loves his smile so much.

“I…thought since you’re like our heart, like Fred said, that it was appropriate.”

“Flatter me,” she says and leans across, kissing his cheek.

She doesn’t move away again, but settles against his side. He stiffens under her for a second, but then puts his arms around her while she fingers with the necklace.

“It’s easy,” he says and she wonders if he means something more than just flattering her.

“The easiest thing in the world,” she replies and she knows she does mean something more.