A Barely Breathing Story: Chapter Ten

[jesterladyfic]

Chapter Ten: Logan and the Invisible Girl

Logan’s not sure about this. Sure, he’s a physical guy and he’s been in his share of fights and, thanks to Aaron, he’s no stranger to pain, but putting himself in the direct path of a vampire, albeit one that can’t hurt him, seems crazy.

“What’s your problem?” Spike asks, laughter in his eyes.

“You’re enjoying this,” Logan remarks, ducking again. “You sure you’re not evil?”

“Wrong question, mate,” Spike says, tripping Logan so that he lands on his back and Logan spares a thought to wonder why that doesn’t seem to hurt him.

He’s not the expert on government behavior-modification chips and he doesn’t really want to be.

“What’s the right question?”

“No such thing,” Spike says, extending a hand.

Logan takes it and leans against the wall to catch his breath.

They’re in Buffy’s basement because Anya’s commandeered the Magic Box training room for a Sunnydale Chamber of Commerce meeting and Logan’s beginning to think he should have canceled. After all, he only set this up because of Veronica’s remarks and jabs that he should. The fact that she’s just been in an accident after hanging out with a supernaturally high witch on the rebound really has nothing to do with his situation. Really.

“Second thoughts, Scottie?” Spike asks him with a knowing look in his eye.

“Do you think that Veronica puts too much on herself?” he asks.

“Probably,” Spike says carefully. “We all do that sometimes. Still, it’s her decision, innit?”

“I’m assuming that my pointing out that I’m her boyfriend doesn’t mean anything?”

“Oh, it means something,” Spike says. “But when someone you love makes up their mind, best not to make waves to soothe your own ego.”

“I won’t watch her get herself killed.”

“I won’t let it happen either,” Spike says. “But every bird’s gotta fly eventually.”

“And if someone else isn’t ready to fly with her?”

“He better let go or learn to fly real fast.”

“Everyone in this town speaks so prettily and represses so handily,” Logan says, getting back into position.

Spike laughs.

“You’ve no bloody idea.”

They spar for awhile and Logan’s learning so much his eyes are practically boggling. It’s fist and fangs for Spike and Logan feels a little bit more alive and he kinda gets why Veronica likes this. Still, he’s breathing hard and sore and bruised and then he lands a lucky blow and Spike jumps too far, crashing into the washer and dryer.

“We’re bollocksed now,” Spike says, now in vamp face, after looking at the huge dent in the machines and the broken step stool that’s lying splintered all over the floor.

“What was that?” comes a strange voice from upstairs and Logan frowns.

“Wha-“

A short, round woman comes down the stairs and stares at them with surprise on her face.

“What is this, Miss Summers?” she asks, turning around.

Spike shakes his head, getting rid of his game face, and turns back around, a polite smile on his face.

“I apologize, Miss Kroger,” comes Buffy’s tired voice. “This is my boyfriend S-William and our friend Logan. I’ve been allowing them to use our basement as a place to practice self-defense and I must have neglected to let them know you were coming today.”

“Considering I don’t think you remembered yourself that isn’t surprising,” the woman says disdainfully.

“We’re very sorry we disturbed you,” Spike says, almost poshly and Logan gives him a quick glance. “I did forget you were coming today and I had a little bit of an accident. I hope you weren’t too startled.”

“No-no,” Miss Kroger says, looking askance at the dent and the mess. “You’re not hurt, I trust.”

“Nothing but my pride,” Spike says gallantly.

“Very well, shall we continue our interview?” Miss Kroger asks Buffy. “Perhaps your boyfriend could join us. Does he live here?”

“No, he has his own place,” Buffy says quickly. “He’s a very good influence on Dawn. He helps her with her homework.”

“Admirable, I’m sure,” the other woman says, her voice fading away.

“Bloody hell,” Spike says as soon as they’re out of hearing range. “I’m absolutely never going to- bollocksed isn’t the half- bloody hell.”

“You forgot she was coming? Who is she?”

“Social worker. After the car accident they got all concerned about Dawn living here. Especially with Joyce’s death and Buffy’s disappearance-presumed-death and all the custody shifts and Buffy’s lack of a job and Dawn’s cutting school and bloody hell.”

“Doesn’t look good, does it?”

“No. I’m gonna go up there and try and suss it out, face the music, yeah?”

“I’ll clean up down here.”

“Thanks, mate,” Spike says and leaves.

Logan quickly clears up as much of the mess as he can and tries to quietly un-dent the washer, but it’s beyond him.

Eventually Spike sticks his head back down.

“All clear.”

Logan emerges into the kitchen and apologizes to Buffy.

“It’s not your fault,” she says, looking defeated. “Spike may have salvaged it with his ‘charming foreign gentleman’ act but I don’t see how that’s going to work long-term when he doesn’t even show up as living.”

“I wish I could-“ Logan says and stops as a thought occurs to him.

It might not solve everything, but it will definitely do something.

“Everybody wishes,” Buffy says and then sighs. “Don’t sweat it, kid, this is all we do here.”

“How much older than me are you exactly?” he asks and she gives him a ghost of a smile.

“Spike, will you talk to Dawn? She’s pulling a wiggins on me. And Willow’s hyperventilating in the living room.”

“Why?” Logan asks.

“Cold turkey on the magic,” Spike says. “Withdrawals a bit, and then the guilt and then the break up. All rightly deserved if you ask me.”

Logan nods. He can relate a bit.

“At least we did a magical-going-out-of-business-clear-out before she got here,” Buffy says. “Apart from the sage that we apparently smoke from sun-up to sun-down according to Miss Social Services. Anyway, Dawn?”

“Bit might do better hearing from you,” Spike tells Buffy.

Buffy shakes her head.

“I just can’t right now. I need to clear my head. Just watch her for me, k?”

Spike nods and goes to kiss her, but she turns her head so he gets her cheek.

Feeling a bit embarrassed, Logan takes his leave and goes to take a shower and then meet up with Veronica.

She’s on her laptop and he idly looks at the screen before kissing the top of her head.

It’s an email to Giles, detailing the latest instances of Willow’s magical life. He knows Veronica is getting frustrated with the man’s lack of response to her inquiries for help but she beats him to the punch of conversational opener.

“Why are you so cheery?” she asks, standing up. “I heard about this morning.”

“Get out your stockings, children, because Christmas is coming early this year,” he tells her.

“My, Santa, what little belly you have,” she says, walking into his outstretched arms. “Why the generosity kick? What did you do?”

“I haven’t done it yet, but I’m happy and pleased to announce the latest investment I’ve decided to partake in.”

“Which is?”

“A trust fund for the Summers girls. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. My lawyers are always after me to do stuff like that. And it’s helping out my friends. Did I do good or what?”

He leans in for a kiss but doesn’t get one. Instead Veronica is looking at him half-exasperated and half-concerned.

“Logan…” she begins.

“What?” he asks, getting annoyed. “What did I do now?”

“You’re doing it again. Using money to solve all your problems. Other people’s problems. That’s always your solution but money can’t magically make everything better again.”

“That is not why I’m doing it,” he says, hurt.

“How is this different than you wanting to finance my college career?”

“These girls need the money. Dawn’s on the brink of getting taken away by Social Services!”

“Buffy’s not going to feel like she can make it on her own if you become her sugar daddy.”

“Interesting term, my little jaded pet. I wonder what you’re thinking.”

“Oh, grow up,” she tells him, frustration oozing out of her voice. “I just think you should offer to maybe look after Dawn once in a while or stop trashing her basement, yeah, Spike told me. That’s what she needs. She needs to be independent.”

“Now you sound like Giles,” Logan says, ignoring the low blow about the basement he would never have been in if it weren’t for her, having gotten the full lowdown on the Watcher’s exit from Veronica, Spike, and Buffy.

“He took away her emotional support, not her financial support.”

“I’m noticing less and less money crossing the Atlantic.”

“Buffy will need to get a job like the rest of us.”

“That’s harsh. She already has one that doesn’t pay her anything.”

“Granted, but that doesn’t mean you should flaunt your own wealth over her.”

“Sometimes people who have more also have the responsibility to share the wealth.”

“Emphasis on share, not control and fix.”

“You’re such a hypocrite, Veronica,” he tells her, really mad now. “You give up everything, move to this town, all for Buffy, and now that I want to help too, you’re suddenly not wanting to share the giving train.”

She opens her mouth and then shuts it again, but she doesn’t back down and he’s so mad he almost wants to walk away.

The phone rings, breaking the tension, or at least bending it.

“Buffy’s been turned invisible,” Veronica announces succinctly after she hangs up.

It’s sad but that’s almost normal for him now.

“How?”

“They don’t know. Willow would like my help.”

“You should go. Use your own natural abilities to help. I’ll use mine.”

“Logan-“ she says, reaching for him.

“No,” he says. “You don’t trust me and I’m starting to think you never will. It’s just one more thing you can chalk up in your Big Book of Disillusionment.”

He walks out the door and calls his lawyer. He’s doing this whether she wants him to or not.

He has the papers sent to him express but it’s late before he gets them and he goes back over to Buffy’s house.

He spends the hours in between breaking things in his room and pacing up and down.

He’s trying to see this from Veronica’s point of view, he really is. But all he can think about it how much she always assumes the worse of him. It’s really beginning to wear him down. Maybe giving her space had been the right choice after all. Maybe she’s been right about their relationship all along.

When he gets back to Buffy’s he finds Dawn there by herself.

“Where’s the rescue squad?” he asks her.

“Out rescuing,” she says glumly.

“Do they know anything?”

“Willow figured out where the energy happened, then Buffy wandered off or something. Veronica thinks it could be similar to that freezing security guard thing a few weeks ago. She’s tracking that lead down. Anyway…they have to reverse what happened or Buffy could disappear forever. Xander and Anya went to find her, Tara’s working on a spell, Veronica and Willow went to confront the nerds or whatever.”

Dawn recites this all practically monotone but Logan can see the frustration bubbling underneath the surface.

“You sound pretty calm about it,” he remarks casually.

“It’s not like Buffy cares about staying here,” Dawn says wearily. “I’m just a responsibility to her and maybe now she won’t have to worry about it. I’ll just go live somewhere else.”

“I doubt it,” Logan says. “See, I got to know your sister pretty well last year and there’s no way she’s ever letting you go anywhere, no matter what dimension she’s just been pulled out of.”

“Says you,” Dawn says, awkwardly trying to hide her tears.

“It’s hard being overlooked, isn’t it?” he says instead of continuing his point or maybe this is his point. “Feeling like you’re not worth someone else’s attention. Wanting to do practically anything to get them to see you. Even if it’s in a negative way.”

She looks at him, eyes wide.

“W-what are you talking about?”

“Oh, me. I grew up that way. A bit of a smart aleck, a bit of a jerk, a bit of a troublemaker. My first girlfriend and I were a lot alike that way. Her parents were a little bit too heavy on the ‘loving their son’ side of life. She tended to act out. Cost her her life in the end, though it shouldn’t have.”

“Are you trying to scare me into giving it back?” she asks and then clasps her hand over her mouth.

“Give what back?” he asks as casually as he can.

“Jewelry from the Magic Box, lipstick from the mall. Maybe a leather jacket or two,” Dawn says guiltily and Logan thinks she’s probably holding back.

“Ahh, shoplifting. Done my fair share of that. Didn’t need to, of course,” Logan says airily. “I had the money. It was just more fun the other way, more attention getting.”

“I’m not a baby,” Dawn says angrily.

“Nope, neither was I. I still wanted my mom to at least act like she cared about what happened to me.”

Dawn looks sideways at him.

“Did she?”

“Not enough,” is his short answer.

No matter how much he wants to help, he’s not going into that particular locked room in his brain.

“I don’t want to get taken away,” Dawn says in a small voice.

“Then stop stealing,” he says. “Study. Don’t sneak out. It sucks, but those are the things that are making the government look twice about you being here.”

“If Buffy just-“

“I know,” he says, daring to put his arm around her, minding her hurt arm. “I can’t control what Buffy does, but I promise I’ll help you guys.”

“What can you do?” she asks, leaning into him.

“I may not be magic, but I am rich,” he says, smiling down at her.

She smiles back and then looks down.

“Are you going to tell Buffy?”

“I think you should. I’ll give you a head start and a warning before I do it.”

“Thanks,” she says and pulls away from him. He senses the conversation is now closed. “You wanna watch tv?”

He watches cartoons with Dawn until everyone piles back into the house.

Buffy’s visible and sporting a new haircut which Spike seems to be disappointed with though they’ve obviously been doing something together cause Spike’s smirking and Buffy’s flushed from more than just kicking bad guy ass.

Veronica’s avoiding looking at him and Willow’s looking hopefully in Tara’s direction but the other witch makes her excuses and leaves soon after they get back.

Willow excuses herself and goes upstairs and Xander and Anya go home where Anya will likely continue to wax glorious about the seating chart for their wedding. From her description Logan really hopes he doesn’t end up at table four.

Logan pulls Buffy aside.

“Logan-“ Veronica says.

“I’m doing this,” he tells her and turns back to Buffy.

“What’s up?” Buffy asks.

“Apparently you and Spike,” he says with a smile.

“I dare you to get hit with an invisibility ray,” she says. “It’s fun.”

“Apart from the disappearing forever part.”

“Yeah, apart from that. But you wanted to tell me something. Very emphatically?”

“This is for you,” he says and hands her the papers.

She opens them quizzically and reads for a few minutes.

“I don’t get it,” she says.

He rolls his eyes and speaks low so Veronica can’t hear them.

“I set up a trust fund for you and Dawn. I fully encourage you to get a job or go back to school when you’re ready but you guys don’t have to worry about money for the time being and you can concentrate more on slaying if you need to. I think it will help with Social Services too. Also, I think Dawn might be ready to stop acting out so much.”

Buffy’s face is beyond his power to describe. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen such a range of emotions.

“Logan- I…”

“I just want to help,” he says. “It’s not a big deal for me.”

“But it’s everything to me,” she says, looking into his eyes. “Thank you.”

And she hugs him and he hugs her back and he knows, he knows without a doubt, that this is the right thing to do. That this is the kind of thing he’s supposed to do with his money. He doesn’t care what Veronica thinks, this is right.

“I fully expect to be protected from the monsters of the night in return,” he tells her, joking.

“You’ve moved to the top of the priority save list,” she tells him, wiping tears from her eyes. “I have to tell Dawn and Spike. Thank you, Logan.”

“We can work out the legalese so you understand how it all works and get access to everything later,” he says.

She nods and goes back into the next room. Logan hesitates on whether or not to go back with her, but he takes the coward’s way out and goes to leave.

Except Veronica’s standing by the front door.

“Pleasant day, honey?” he asks, trying his best to sound jocular.

“I finally got to use my natural skills,” she says. “Kicked supernatural ass.”

“Villains all locked away then?” he asks.

“Well, they…may have managed to kidnap me after I tracked their van to their secret hideout and then used me as bait to get Buffy to come get me and kill her,” she says all in a rush.

"What?" he asks.

"Seriously, I tracked them down and then they were all invisible. But I managed to get them where Buffy could beat them up and she knew who they were, so it should be easy to round them up. Maybe. And I'm fine. Not even bruised."

“Mysteries aren’t solved in a day,” he says finally because he can't start yelling at her again about putting herself in danger.

It just doesn't work like that. He's had his say and unless she really does something stupid, fighting about it won't help. At least that's what his tired brain and heart are telling him. Besides, he's still mad at her.

And there’s awkward silence.

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out.

“Excuse me?” he says, not believing what he’s hearing.

He even puts a hand to his ear.

“I’m sorry,” she says and he knows how much she hates apologizing. “You did good.”

“Thanks for the affirmation,” he says, but doesn’t say anything else.

“I have the tendency…to get caught in the past,” she says, fidgeting. “I forget progress people have made cause I don’t want them to hurt me again. And I just have this inbred Neptune prejudice against anyone with more than a dollar to their name. Even my boyfriend. I’ve seen people use money to do horrible things. But you didn’t.”

“Nope,” he says. “Horrible things free.”

“Free?” she says, raising an eyebrow.

He throws her a bone and allows it.

“I’ve done my share,” he says, “but I’ve been trying. Really hard and everything. Turned in my black hat and shaved my moustache.”

“I know,” she says, “and I’m sorry I don’t give you enough credit. I hate feeling like I’m the one failing here. And I still think Buffy needs to stand on her own, but I guess you were right when you said I was being a hypocrite. I’m going to try and not do that anymore. To listen to your opinion and to let you have it without being all critical. Trying to. You know something that I don’t always get, that we all need somebody sometimes.”

He could be wrong but it seems like something breaks between the two of them when she says this. All he knows is that he feels better and that he feels hope and her words are triggering something else in his head.

“Lean on me,” he starts singing and she laughs, “when you’re not strong.”

“And I’ll be the one,” she sings along, “to help you carry on.”

“Lean on me for it won’t be long till I’m gonna need somebody to lean on,” they sing together.

“Singing demon back?” Spike asks, sticking his head into the entryway.

“Thankfully, no,” Veronica says.

Logan smiles at the memory of the multiple copies of Veronica’s song he’s got stashed everywhere. He’s pretty sure even Mac can’t find them all and one day Veronica will be in more of a position to appreciate having it.

“I’ll teach you to kick my ass any day,” Spike says to Logan, sticking out his hand for him to shake. “She’d never take my money, but this…thanks.”

Logan shakes his hand and holds out his hand to Veronica. She puts her hand in his and he feels at peace like he hasn’t since he came to Sunnydale.

“We’re off now,” he tells Spike.

“Happy trails,” the vampire says, winking at them.

“Invisibility sex,” Logan says and Spike laughs at him.

He opens the door and walks out with Veronica.

“I love you,” she tells him and he actually believes her.