A Barely Breathing Story: Chapter Four
Aug. 31st, 2012 09:50 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Chapter Four: Logan and the Kitten Poker Game
Logan finds it a bit ironic to be arguing about moving when he’s helping Veronica move. Still, they fight almost better than they do anything else and he doesn’t let himself think about that anything else, because he’s still trying not to fall apart and weep like a little boy when he thinks about her not being just across town anymore.
See, he knows he’s pathetic, but he also knows Veronica Mars and he knows the fragility of their relationship. And this is something he’s been worrying about ever since graduation. Veronica isn’t destined to live in Neptune forever, to be bound by the tragedies of their childhood. He can’t really say the same thing about himself.
At the moment he’s not really worried about the distance so much. Sunnydale’s a hell of a lot closer than Stanford or some of the other schools she could’ve gone to and he’s got just as much reason to visit her there, more even, than anywhere else. He’s worried about why she’s going there, what she’ll give up in doing so. He’s being unselfish, noble even, and he would just like her to admit that.
Which drives him right back to the irony in the situation.
So he hoists boxes and makes jokes with Mac about some of Veronica’s equipment and engages in manly strength contests with Wallace and trades just slightly barbed remarks with Weevil and only now…now that they’re driving alone, does he speak about it.
“If you start with me I’m tasering your ass,” she says.
He looks morally outraged as is his due.
“Would I ever?”
“You would, have, will.”
“You wouldn’t like me if I didn’t keep you on your toes.”
“Sometimes I don’t like you anyway,” she mutters.
“I’ll ignore that like the beautiful human being I am. Now…are you sure you have everything? Dorm information, registration information, my phone number?”
“I’ve had your phone number memorized since the fifth grade,” she says. “I may have blocked it out there for a few years, but I’m pretty sure the dating you brought it back into focus.”
“Ah, she still loves me,” he half sings, flipping on the radio.
“I do,” she says, firmly, but in that exasperated, Logan-why-can’t-you-be-sensible-and-not-argue-with-me-about-everything tone.
“I love you too, my sweet,” he says, ignoring her tone and speeding up just to show her how much he doesn’t care how fast they get to the place where she’ll stay and he’ll leave.
“We’re really bad together,” she says, laughing.
“No, we’re epic together. Lives ruined, blood shed. Epic.”
“You really think relationships should be that hard?”
“No one writes songs about the ones that come easy,” he says and then starts singing along, drowning out the voice on the radio.
After a minute she joins in and her own voice is far superior to his and he loves hearing it and for the next couple of hours they don’t fight anymore.
They pull into the Sunnydale campus and Logan stretches for a good five minutes before they start unloading. Veronica’s busy with the check in people and he spends his stretching time looking at his surroundings. Weevil had declined to help on this end of the move and Wallace and Mac won’t be coming until later when Keith can come with them so he’s got Veronica to himself for a bit, though Xander and Anya have promised to help later in the afternoon once they get off work.
“I’m all official,” she says, walking back over, and he pushes her sunglasses off her head back down her nose.
“I’m jumping with joy.”
“Sore loser,” she says, adjusting her sunglasses.
He smirks at her and starts pulling boxes out of the Xterra.
“Did you tell them you were here?” he asks.
“The college?”
“The Scoobies,” he says, rolling his eyes.
“I left a message at the house. I don’t really have any cell phone numbers; they apparently only use disposable cells for emergencies.”
“Poor deprived souls,” Logan says in sympathy.
“Yes, this is why I’m here. To educate them on the benefits of technology when it comes to slaying vampires.”
“Isn’t Willow supposed to be some big computer whiz according to Mac?”
“I think the magic’s been more her thing recently.”
“So I hear. I guess when you’re busy raising people from the dead you don’t really think about the benefits of text messaging.”
They get to work unpacking and he’s sweating a little before they’re through.
“Let’s take a break,” Veronica says when there’s really not much more they can do before the next load comes.
“Walk?” he asks.
“Sounds good,” she replies and puts her hand in his as they stroll across the campus like college lovers and he’s laughing inside at the picture.
Logan’s actually impressed at the size of the campus. It’s a lot bigger than he would have thought for the small town. The buildings look new and he’s maybe thinking Veronica might have made a good choice now.
“Yonder,” she says and points ahead.
He looks and sees Buffy and Willow walking along, books under arm like good college students.
“Shall we sneak up on them?” he asks.
“Is that a good idea with Buffy’s…”
“What? Condition? I think it might be just what she needs.”
“You’re more of an expert at trauma,” she says and he doesn’t really agree because they’re probably even though his is more overt.
They move up behind Willow and Buffy slowly until they can just hear the conversation.
“You're not dumb. Just rusty,” Willow’s saying.
“Maybe I should ease back in with some non-taxing classes, like introduction to pies, or maybe advanced walking.”
“Never was big on school myself,” Logan says and Buffy turns around with reflexes that still shock him.
“Logan,” she says warmly and he feels like he made the right call.
“You’re here!” Willow says.
“Moving in, taking a break,” Veronica says and there’re hugs all around.
“What’s the verdict on the campus?” Willow asks, spreading her hand like the whole thing is her own brain child.
“I like it,” Logan says firmly and Veronica looks at him with an eyebrow raised. “What?” he says. “I do.”
“Wishy-washy rich kids,” Buffy says and Logan has to smile at that.
“Never should’ve taken you under my wing,” he says and sighs.
“It’s nice to see you too.”
“Hey,” comes a voice from behind them and Logan turns to see Tara.
Tara joins them and gives her own hugs and welcomes and inquires after Buffy’s first class back.
“She did fine! Sociology: not a big fave.”
“No, look, it's fine. I just need to spend a little more time re-acclimating. You know, to get back into the swing of things.”
They move on down the hall, some jerk bumping into Buffy, and then Logan notices she isn’t there anymore.
She’s way behind them looking confused and then runs to join them.
“What happened?” she asks.
“Nothing,” they all say, looking at each other.
Willow leaves for her next class and Veronica wants to walk with Tara and Buffy to their art class and when they get to the door Buffy isn’t with them anymore.
“Where’d she go now?”
“I don’t see her.”
“I’m gonna be late,” Tara says worriedly. “See if you can’t find her?”
“Will do.”
They wander around for an hour but don’t see her until they make their way back to the art class and find her and Tara standing there.
“Something’s going on,” Buffy tells them. “Something’s happening.”
They all exchange worried glances and Logan knows they’re all wondering the same thing. Is something going on or is this more post-death trauma stuff?
Veronica says that they’ll figure it out and Buffy nods.
“I have my next class,” Tara tells them and leaves.
“There’s a courtyard up ahead,” Buffy says. “I can tell you guys up there.”
So they walk there but when they sit down Buffy’s gone again. Then suddenly she’s there.
“Something was on me,” she says and explains the weird time thing.
Logan doesn’t get it, but then he’s still new at the supernatural and he might like it to stay that way. If he’s honest with himself that’s another reason why it bothers him that Veronica’s going to be at school here. She’ll become way more entrenched in the supernatural.
But Buffy’s obviously in trouble and Logan loves her like the big sister Trina never was and so he wants to help in any way he can.
Veronica’s cell buzzes and she flips it open.
“They’re here,” she says. “Dad couldn’t make it. Bail jumper.”
They all go back over to Veronica’s new dorm and greet Wallace and Mac. They’ve brought Veronica’s car with them, so they’re trying to park two cars, but they treat Buffy like a long lost friend because that’s what she is. Buffy clams down a little bit but exclaims over the good room Veronica’s gotten and then admits she has to get home because she’s starting work at Xander’s construction site the next morning.
Speaking of the devil Anya and Xander show up to help and Logan appreciates it since there’s quite a lot of stuff still left to do.
Buffy explains her problem to Xander and Anya and they look as perplexed about the ‘evil lint’ as Logan feels so that makes him feel better.
They work for a few more hours before ordering some pizza in and then Wallace and Mac head back to Neptune since they start their own classes the next day.
“You gonna be joining us?” Wallace asks, slapping Logan’s shoulder.
“I have made no decisions,” he says.
“You’re running out of time, brainhead,” Mac tells him.
“That’s not what daddy’s billions say,” he tells them, polishing his fingernails on his shirt and inspecting them rather carefully.
“You’re always gonna be an 09er no matter who you’re dating, aren’t you?” Wallace says, shaking his head.
“Duh, Mr. Basketball Scholarship,” Logan tells him.
There’s no animosity between them anymore, but there’s plenty of snark and that’s all Logan really requires in the people he hangs out with. That’s why he and Mac get along so well.
They leave, and so do Xander and Anya and Logan lounges on Veronica’s newly made bed while she calls her dad. She’s lucked out because they told her she wouldn’t be getting a roommate until next semester. He thinks enrollment must be down due to demon attacks or something. But he’s lucked out too, because now he’s gonna stay in his girlfriend’s room until he feels like leaving or she kicks him out.
“Shall we christen the place?” he asks her when she hangs up, waggling his eyebrows.
Veronica pretends to consider a moment before locking the door and sauntering over to the bed.
“I think I’m supposed to put a sock on the door,” she says, stripping her shirt off.
“That is the time honored tradition,” he says, avidly watching her every movement.
“I’ve always bucked the traditions,” she says, bending over him, just brushing him with her chest as she kisses him.
He closes his eyes and concentrates on her closeness. It’s something that never fails to excite and awe him, the way she feels when they’re together and how she makes him completely fall apart and then puts him back together.
Their kisses are deep and slow because they’re in no hurry and he runs his hands over her stomach, inching towards her waist, and every touch is a bit of heaven on earth.
The next morning Veronica has orientation before her first class and she leaves for it, book bag in hand, while Logan lies in her bed and idly thinks he might like to be a kept man.
About halfway through his morning when he’s only just decided to get up he gets a call from Buffy who’s gotten fired from her construction site job due to excessive demon slayage.
“Heavy blow,” he says. “It’s like you’re not even saving the world or anything.”
“Somebody’s after me,” she says heavily and he flinches at the dull deadness in her tone.
“Anything I can do?”
“Right now I have to go in to the Magic Box where Anya has graciously offered to let me work on a trial period provided I don’t do any damages to her bottom line.”
Logan laughs.
“It’s a cinch.”
“Well, later we might have a research party if you want to truly become a part of the circle here.”
“I’m not the one moving here,” he reminds her.
“For now,” she says and Logan has to remind himself that she knows him pretty well.
“You think you’re so smart for a dead girl,” he tells her because he knows that he’s gonna be the one to help make her pain laughable and, therefore, bearable.
“I’m smart for any kind of girl. A college drop-out, financially-strapped, demon-fighting kind of girl.”
“That’s a bit of a mouthful. I think I’ll just call you Buffy.” She laughs. “Call us later, Veronica’s through at six.”
“You got it.”
Logan spends the rest of his day unpacking stuff for Veronica and surfing the web and trying not to think about where he’s going to go to school or what he’s going to do with his life.
When Veronica gets back they have dinner and then Buffy and Spike show up on their doorstep, Buffy with a whiskey bottle and the potential for a major hangover.
“What did you do to her?” Veronica asks, horrified glare in place.
Ever the one to point fingers first and ask questions later, his Veronica.
“She did it to herself,” Spike defends. “And maybe she needs a little wild time. Puts things into perspective. ‘Sides, we’re gonna find out who’s after her.”
“Did something else happen?” Veronica asks, already in the know about the construction site attack.
“Mummy hand,” Buffy says solemnly.
They glance at each other.
“Time loop at the Magic Box,” Spike supplies helpfully except that it doesn’t really help Logan out at all. “We’re hitting the demon world. Wanna come?”
Logan’s eyes look a little large, he thinks. Veronica hesitates a moment but then looks to him and at Buffy and nods.
He sighs and nods too. Might as well know what she’s getting herself into.
Later, they’re at a demon bar and, while Logan’s faced vampires before, even befriended one; he’s never seen the kinds of things that are around him now. It makes him incredibly nervous and he’s pretty sure they can all smell it.
“I’ll take a PCHer any day,” he mutters to Veronica.
She shows him the taser she’s got clasped in her fist.
“That’s my girl.”
They head for the back room where Spike does his business and there’s a big stink over him bringing in three humans.
Buffy’s a little belligerent when she finds out he intends to play poker.
He pulls them aside and cautions them to play it cool.
“You wanna play, that's fine. Okay? I am sticking to the original plan. Which one do I kill for information?”
“Listen, these guys talk while they play. We'll get more information out of their mouths than out of gaping holes in their corpses.”
Logan’s liking the gaping holes version of the night, but Buffy acquiesces drunkenly and sits down.
Spike sits down at the table and Veronica and Logan pull up stools beside Buffy and Logan takes a long swig of her whiskey. He doesn’t know what demons do while playing poker, but he wants a little fire in his blood before watching.
Veronica stiffens beside him.
“You play for kittens?”
Spike ignores her.
“So, who's gonna advance me a tiny tabby, get me started?”
The game progresses smoothly from there though Veronica stops speaking to Spike and Buffy’s getting so drunk that Logan wishes he could get the bottle away from her. She’s still ridiculously strong though and he’s not having any luck.
Then one of the demons accuses Spike of cheating and Buffy loses it a little bit. Logan watches in concern.
“Buffy, maybe we should go,” Veronica tells her.
Buffy does just that but she’s hitting demons and stumbling and Spike is running after her, looking worried.
“What's wrong, love?”
“What's wrong? You were gonna help me! You-you were gonna beat heads and-and-and fix my life! But you're completely lame. Tonight sucks! And-and look at me. Look at-look at stupid Buffy! Too dumb for college, and-and-and freak Buffy, too strong for construction work. And-and my job at the magic shop? I was bored to tears even before the hour that wouldn't end! And the only person I can even stand to be around is a...neutered vampire who cheats at kitten poker.”
Logan watches the expression on Spike’s face go from concerned to embarrassed to angry to pensive to sad to happy to crushed all in about the space of thirty seconds.
“The man’s an emotion machine,” he says under his breath.
Veronica’s obviously still miffed about the kittens because she puts her arms around Buffy who’s still yelling at Spike who’s apparently decided to ignore most of the things said to him.
“Oh, you saw the cheating, did you?”
“Also? I think you're drunk,” Buffy says, winding down.
Veronica tries to get Buffy back to the car, but the Slayer isn’t having any of it. She’s stumbling all over the alley and Logan aches a little inside because he knows the feeling.
“Give her some room,” he tells Veronica quietly and her face grows hard and she lets go.
There’s a sudden blaring of the Star Wars theme and Logan wonders how much he actually drank.
“I know that van,” Buffy says and hiccoughs.
She stumbles closer and then a demon appears out of the mist. Tall, muscular, wings, horns, and a loincloth. Logan doesn’t know whether to laugh or run away. Then it sort of roars and he does laugh and some of that is definitely the alcohol.
“You have discovered me! But do not try to defeat me, for I have been testing you and I know your weaknesses. Ha ha ha!”
The van behind him starts to drive away and both the demon and Logan get distracted from the cliché villain speech.
Buffy follows him and starts to beat him up, rather drunkenly. Her hits are sloppy and her kicks erratic, landing her on her ass. Spike goes to help her only she’s waving him away.
“I'm okay! I'm fine! Get off me.”
Spike backs away and Buffy lurches to her feet but the demon’s already running away.
“I am well struck. I call on the misty portal to my demon dimension, where I will lay my head and gently die.”
The demon throws something to the ground and there’s a shower of smoke and sparks blinding them all. Logan starts to cough and choke.
“Anybody else think there’s something incredibly screwed up about that?” Logan asks.
“Gotta love it, you know,” Buffy says, smiling at Spike and Logan’s confused because now she looks like she wants to kiss him. “It makes you feel all powerful. Strong. Kinda sick.”
Buffy keels over and vomits all over the alley and Logan winces.
“We’ll get her home,” Veronica says, glaring at Spike. “And you and I will have a talk later.”
“I can’t do this anymore,” Spike says, sounding broken, and Veronica’s face softens.
“I know this is hard,” she tells him. “But she needs you to do more than this. She needs something only you can give her.”
“I don’t think she needs me,” he says and looks like he wants to say something else but doesn’t. “Just watch out for her, Private Eye.”
“Thanks for the education,” Logan tells him and wishes he didn’t have so much in common with a half-drunk vampire.
They get Buffy home okay and sneak her in and Logan leaves his best hangover remedy for her.
They don’t re-christen Veronica’s room when they get back and Logan lies awake most of the night, thinking and planning his next move.
It’s a hard decision, but the right one, he thinks.
“I’m gonna head home,” he tells Veronica the next morning.
“Why?”
“I don’t live here, my darling, in case you forgot.”
She rolls her eyes.
“Yeah, but I thought I was gonna have to kick you out in a week.”
“I was banking on two,” he says. “It’s time though. I’ll see you soon. But I gotta figure some stuff out.”
“Like?”
“Like where I want to be.”
“You’re so hot when you’re all mature,” she tells him and the kiss she gives him makes him want to drag her back to bed and forget his new plans but he doesn’t.
He packs his stuff and makes sure Veronica’s heard from a hung-over Buffy before he drives back to Neptune.
It’s really hard, leaving her, but he does it because he knows she needs it and maybe he does too. They’re connected in a way that awes him and frightens her, but they’re also two individual people and he’s gotta figure himself out before he can hope to be what she needs.
His plan is to find a college he wants. After that, he plans on figuring out what he wants to do. He doesn’t regret banking all his plans on Veronica because he’s convinced she’s his future, but he needs to give her the space to find that out on her own.
Buffy’s little display of the night before reminds him of people in pain and what they do to the people who love them. He’s been that person and he’s been on the receiving end and it’s hurtful both ways. He doesn’t want either to happen to him with Veronica.
So he goes home.