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jesterladyficTitle: A Masterpiece of Meticulous Exactitude
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Chloe/Oliver, Clark/Lois, Lex/Lana
Summary: Oliver, Clark and Lex cook up an idea for the whole team to participate in. If only things would go right for once.
Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville. The title is from a Deep Space Nine Episode.
Part One: The Proposal
Part Two: The Planning
Clark was late to the first rehearsal. It wasn't his fault though and he made sure to acquaint everyone of that fact. There was a wildfire in Texas and it had destroyed almost a third of the state. He arrived, putting out fires on his cape.
“Change, Clark,” Chloe said, waving her hand around her face. “None of us want to get admitted for smoke inhalation.”
“Right. Sorry.” Clark had been in a hurry and it still surprised him how relaxed he could be around people who knew both his identities.
“Come on, people, we've wasted enough time as it is,” Oliver called frantically.
Clark was back two seconds later. All of them kept spare changes of clothes practically everywhere they frequented.
“Clark, where is Lois?” Lex asked, elbowing him. “Oliver's about ready to have a conniption.”
“She said she'd be here this morning,” Clark said, shrugging. “I don't know why he's upset about me being late if not everyone's here.”
“This is Oliver we're talking about,” Lex reminded him.
Clark sighed. Yes, he knew.
Lois strolled into the room with Dinah a few minutes later and dumped a huge pile of papers on the table.
“Ladies,” Oliver said, “what's going on?”
“This, gentlemen,” Lois said, “is our new script. Don't worry, everything's the way it should be.”
“Then why is it new?” Oliver asked with such a high pitch to his voice Clark had to wonder if he was going to break it somehow.
“You didn't honestly expect us to just sit back and take being the background, token females, did you?” Dinah asked. “We added a few pertinent points.”
Oliver's eyes got very wide and Clark and Lex chuckled to themselves. Not surprisingly, it was Chloe who rubbed a soothing arm on his shoulders and attempted to make peace.
“Let's just read it, Ollie. Maybe it's good.”
“Maybe!” squawked Lois. “Cuz, you've been Mrs. Queen for too long. Step on over into the girl's camp.”
“There are no camps,” Chloe said firmly, “we're all a team.”
“Yeah right,” Dinah said under her breath, but Clark heard it anyway.
He wondered again if everyone just chose to forget about his hearing or if they did it deliberately knowing how uncomfortable it made him.
Bart grabbed a script and read it on the way back to his seat.
“Awesome additions, you lovelies. I especially like the part where AC's hanging upside down and Dinah saves his ass. Then Lois storms the castle-”
Oliver's sputters drowned out Bart's summary, but Clark heard other noises and vanished. He didn't think anyone would really notice he was gone. There was a woman fighting off two men and a woman in an alley and he made short work of them. When he got back to the mansion, Oliver and Lois were standing toe to toe yelling at each other and he winced.
“At least you can run,” Lex said.
“There were people in trouble,” Clark protested.
“Aren't there always?”
“Good point,” Clark said and desperately listened. Yup, sounds of distress. He vanished again and again and again. It took three rescues and returns before it appeared that everything had been settled; Lois and Dinah satisfied that their roles were not too pithy and Oliver satisfied that the story's integrity was being upheld. But at that point he showed his true dictator-like qualities and put them all to work finding marks and staging and those not in scenes, learning lines or putting together scenery. It was a long day.
At about the fifth hour mark, Clark was using his heat vision to weld together poles to hold up the curtains and was actually starting to wonder why Oliver and Lex didn't just hire someone to do it. At that point he was glad to have a five car pileup.
When he got back he discovered that there had been a mutiny and Oliver displaced from the director position with Chloe now in charge.
He heaved a sigh of relief and turned to face Lois.
“Uh uh, you're not getting away, Clark. What happened to all the quality time we were supposed to have? You've vamoosed at least eight times today. I even rewrote the script so Clorinda's in the stupid band of merry men and can have more scenes with you.”
“I thought it was a cry for equality for women everywhere.”
“Don't get smart with me; you're still the one with explaining to do.”
“I'm sorry, Lois. It just hasn't been easy with the whole play thing and my responsibilities as Superman. And there have been times when it's been not very fun to be here.”
“So you just leave and let the rest of us suffer? How heroic of you. Besides, if you wanted to get out of here, I can think of a lot of places in this mansion we could get lost.”
Clark looked at her hopefully, but just then Chloe called them both to the rehearsing area. The day got a lot better after that, Oliver pouting for only about an hour longer before Chloe's constant physical attention cheered him up and he started over-acting with gusto.
Clark looked around him, shaking his head. It looked like Oliver and Mia were simply using the time to practice their marksmanship, Bart was busy bothering Victor, AC and Dinah were going over their lines together and actually getting along, Tess was on her laptop, steadfastly refusing to get fitted for the beard Lois was trying to get her to wear while Chloe and Lex argued over the finer points of how evil Prince John actually was. They might not be the greatest acting troupe in the world, but he wouldn't want them to be anyone else.
***
Lex had thought that the next rehearsal would go a lot better without Oliver yelling at everyone, but when they all again gathered in his house, he discovered that they'd forgotten what a micro-manager Chloe could be.
“I'm Watchtower, what did you expect?” she asked as they all groaned, looking at their rehearsal packets. Packets, mind, not just sheets.
Lex looked over his and discovered she had scheduled everything, down to bathroom breaks, when the bolts would be put into the stage and just when Clark was allowed to leave to save people. To give her credit, it was incredibly organized and made sure to address everyone's concerns, but Lex knew there was no way such order would last in the midst of their chaos.
And it didn't. Things got heated when Tess and Dinah went up against each other in a scene and Tess got the upper hand. Chloe had to call an emergency timeout. Clark had used the opportunity to leave, but wasn't back until an hour later due to an armed bank robbery, earthquake and bridge collapsing. Chloe had been bright red at that point, though she was already putting more plans together on the fly, which was very impressive considering.
A couple of hours later after she'd had to calm an irate Oliver down when Bart and Mia had been getting a bit too friendly, Lex noticed Chloe curling her hands into fists so hard they were leaving fingernail marks, and went to speak with Oliver.
“We're going to make your wife cry.”
“What?” Oliver looked around frantically.
Lex put a calming hand on his shoulder.
“Stop freaking out. Your overreacting is one of the things making her stressed. You're just going to have to talk to her. She should know better than anyone that you can't plan things so much. Especially with these people. We want this to be fun, remember?”
“Right,” Oliver said, visibly quieting, “right, you're right.”
“What a surprise,” Lex said dryly.
“Did I ever tell you how annoying you are?” Oliver asked.
“Frequently and then again.”
“Remind me to do it more often.”
“Oliver, tell me how annoying I am.”
“You're annoying, Lex.”
Oliver strode off to find his wife and Lex chuckled to himself before going back to using his allotted ten minutes to himself to try and make sense of the emails his board members were sending him.
Oliver and Chloe moved over to his side of the room, probably trying to get away from the others and obviously not seeing him behind his desk.
“-all I'm saying is that I don't want you stressed out. This was my thing and I don't want you to freak out over it.”
“Freak outs are a daily part of my life, Ollie,” she told him. “I'll deal.”
“Like you did when Tess suggested she might want to use the restroom at some point other than her allotted time period?”
“Point taken, O Technical One. Just...leave it to me.”
Oliver smiled and touched his nose to hers.
“You're my favorite over-doer, you know that?”
“I better be.”
“Never be another.”
“I'm very glad to hear it,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Lex decided now would be a great time to clear his throat.
“Hell, Luthor, why now?” Oliver complained.
“Cause I don't want a free show,” Lex said.
Oliver smiled.
“I highly doubt that.”
Chloe raised an eyebrow.
“Down, boys. Lex, I believe your ten minutes is up. Get back to work.”
Lex ground his teeth together and wondered if, because it was his house, he could call in a bomb threat.
The afternoon only got more hectic from there. Chloe's plans were rapidly dissolving and while she wasn't stressing out as much, everyone else was until Oliver secretly staged a coup and got put back in charge by promising not to yell at everyone anymore. How long that would last, Lex couldn't say, but he was willing to bet not very long. He also wondered how many director changes they would have before the big night.
***
Oliver reflected that the following few weeks were the best and worst of his life. In between the chaos, the fights over staging, the way Clark couldn't remember his lines because he didn't have time to practice them, Oliver's own irritation with Bart's continual flirting with his wife, his ward, and his ex-girlfriends, the constant directorial changes between him and Chloe, him and Tess, and Lois at one point, before everyone bit the bullet and appointed Victor unequivocally; there was fun. There was enjoyment and unity and a bit of wacky silliness.
Victor proved to be the perfect director because he wasn't hyper-sensitive to making everything perfect like Oliver, didn't over-plan like Chloe, actually cared unlike Tess, and wasn't a harpy in disguise like Lois. He managed to smooth everything over while keeping everything on track and Oliver's only regret was that it didn't happen until the week before opening. Granted, that was an important week.
It was dress rehearsal time and there'd been a mix-up with the costumes and Lois and Dinah were currently harassing the poor delivery guy who'd sent theirs to the wrong place. It was unfortunate, but Oliver pitied any acting production that didn't have a couple of speedsters to fix situations like this. In less than ten seconds, Bart had run to New York and gotten their costumes and earned himself some not-to-be-killed-for-flirting points.
“Okay, people,” Victor said, “we've got limited time to pull this off, so I want everyone who's not on stage finishing the set or making sure the costumes and makeup are good. Got it?”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” Bart said, snapping a quick salute and zipping back in two seconds, already dressed.
Oliver shifted uncomfortably because he was, unfortunately, actually wearing tights. At one point he and Lex had argued for a solid ten minutes about why Oliver couldn't just wear his Green Arrow gear. Lex had pointed out that Oliver was the one who'd wanted this to be authentic and he'd reluctantly capitulated and given Lex another check in the win column.
Oliver made his way on stage. Chloe had had a point earlier; he was in practically every scene. They were at the spot of the archery tournament, so almost everyone was on stage in some capacity.
“Fear not, fair lady,” he started, but there was a loud creaking sound and the stage roof started to sway and Oliver's eyes widened when he saw the bolts break. He threw himself across Chloe's body and yelled for everyone to get down.
Wind rushed past his cheek and he saw Bart speed Mia off the stage and started to revise his opinion of letting Bart anywhere near her. He had a moment of regret that that would be his last thought but the crushing blindness never came. Clark, for once, was not out helping someone else and had caught the steel frame before it started to fall and everyone cleared off the stage in a hurry before he set it down.
“I knew this whole thing was a big mistake,” Lois said, staring.
“Don't start, Lois,” Chloe said firmly.
Tess folded her arms across her chest.
“Now can we give up this ridiculous charade?”
“I don't think so,” Oliver said, stepping forward and cutting quite a dashing figure in his costume, despite the tights, if he did say so himself. “People, this is a call to battle. We've an opportunity here to do something against the odds, a chance for greatness. Should we give it up because of a little obstacle, a few challenges? I don't think so. No, we need to push forward, we need to take charge, we need to put on a play.”
There was a brief silence before Clark and Lex started laughing and Oliver stared at them, a little put-out.
“Um, honey,” Chloe asked, obviously struggling to keep her own laughter in check, “did you practice that?”
“No,” he protested, “that was all from the heart.”
“Well, kudos on the inspirational speech, dude,” AC said, “but it wasn't like we were about to go into battle against a supervillain. We'll just get it replaced.”
“Fine,” Oliver said grumpily and adjusted his tights as discretely as possible before going off to find some place that could hand deliver them a stage before tomorrow night. Despite his pride, he was feeling excited.
Chloe followed him and put a hand on his arm.
“You feeling okay there, Robin?”
“Never better, my lady,” he told her.
“Thanks for the dive and save back there,” she told him. “I'm beginning to see the perks of being married to a superhero.”
“I already knew those perks,” he told her, winking. “Besides, that was nothing.”
“Well, just so you know,” she told him, “Watchtower promises to be very appreciative to Green Arrow tonight.”
Oliver wished he didn't have to stay and practice this stupid play. Whose bright idea had that been?
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Chloe/Oliver, Clark/Lois, Lex/Lana
Summary: Oliver, Clark and Lex cook up an idea for the whole team to participate in. If only things would go right for once.
Disclaimer: I don't own Smallville. The title is from a Deep Space Nine Episode.
Part One: The Proposal
Part Two: The Planning
Clark was late to the first rehearsal. It wasn't his fault though and he made sure to acquaint everyone of that fact. There was a wildfire in Texas and it had destroyed almost a third of the state. He arrived, putting out fires on his cape.
“Change, Clark,” Chloe said, waving her hand around her face. “None of us want to get admitted for smoke inhalation.”
“Right. Sorry.” Clark had been in a hurry and it still surprised him how relaxed he could be around people who knew both his identities.
“Come on, people, we've wasted enough time as it is,” Oliver called frantically.
Clark was back two seconds later. All of them kept spare changes of clothes practically everywhere they frequented.
“Clark, where is Lois?” Lex asked, elbowing him. “Oliver's about ready to have a conniption.”
“She said she'd be here this morning,” Clark said, shrugging. “I don't know why he's upset about me being late if not everyone's here.”
“This is Oliver we're talking about,” Lex reminded him.
Clark sighed. Yes, he knew.
Lois strolled into the room with Dinah a few minutes later and dumped a huge pile of papers on the table.
“Ladies,” Oliver said, “what's going on?”
“This, gentlemen,” Lois said, “is our new script. Don't worry, everything's the way it should be.”
“Then why is it new?” Oliver asked with such a high pitch to his voice Clark had to wonder if he was going to break it somehow.
“You didn't honestly expect us to just sit back and take being the background, token females, did you?” Dinah asked. “We added a few pertinent points.”
Oliver's eyes got very wide and Clark and Lex chuckled to themselves. Not surprisingly, it was Chloe who rubbed a soothing arm on his shoulders and attempted to make peace.
“Let's just read it, Ollie. Maybe it's good.”
“Maybe!” squawked Lois. “Cuz, you've been Mrs. Queen for too long. Step on over into the girl's camp.”
“There are no camps,” Chloe said firmly, “we're all a team.”
“Yeah right,” Dinah said under her breath, but Clark heard it anyway.
He wondered again if everyone just chose to forget about his hearing or if they did it deliberately knowing how uncomfortable it made him.
Bart grabbed a script and read it on the way back to his seat.
“Awesome additions, you lovelies. I especially like the part where AC's hanging upside down and Dinah saves his ass. Then Lois storms the castle-”
Oliver's sputters drowned out Bart's summary, but Clark heard other noises and vanished. He didn't think anyone would really notice he was gone. There was a woman fighting off two men and a woman in an alley and he made short work of them. When he got back to the mansion, Oliver and Lois were standing toe to toe yelling at each other and he winced.
“At least you can run,” Lex said.
“There were people in trouble,” Clark protested.
“Aren't there always?”
“Good point,” Clark said and desperately listened. Yup, sounds of distress. He vanished again and again and again. It took three rescues and returns before it appeared that everything had been settled; Lois and Dinah satisfied that their roles were not too pithy and Oliver satisfied that the story's integrity was being upheld. But at that point he showed his true dictator-like qualities and put them all to work finding marks and staging and those not in scenes, learning lines or putting together scenery. It was a long day.
At about the fifth hour mark, Clark was using his heat vision to weld together poles to hold up the curtains and was actually starting to wonder why Oliver and Lex didn't just hire someone to do it. At that point he was glad to have a five car pileup.
When he got back he discovered that there had been a mutiny and Oliver displaced from the director position with Chloe now in charge.
He heaved a sigh of relief and turned to face Lois.
“Uh uh, you're not getting away, Clark. What happened to all the quality time we were supposed to have? You've vamoosed at least eight times today. I even rewrote the script so Clorinda's in the stupid band of merry men and can have more scenes with you.”
“I thought it was a cry for equality for women everywhere.”
“Don't get smart with me; you're still the one with explaining to do.”
“I'm sorry, Lois. It just hasn't been easy with the whole play thing and my responsibilities as Superman. And there have been times when it's been not very fun to be here.”
“So you just leave and let the rest of us suffer? How heroic of you. Besides, if you wanted to get out of here, I can think of a lot of places in this mansion we could get lost.”
Clark looked at her hopefully, but just then Chloe called them both to the rehearsing area. The day got a lot better after that, Oliver pouting for only about an hour longer before Chloe's constant physical attention cheered him up and he started over-acting with gusto.
Clark looked around him, shaking his head. It looked like Oliver and Mia were simply using the time to practice their marksmanship, Bart was busy bothering Victor, AC and Dinah were going over their lines together and actually getting along, Tess was on her laptop, steadfastly refusing to get fitted for the beard Lois was trying to get her to wear while Chloe and Lex argued over the finer points of how evil Prince John actually was. They might not be the greatest acting troupe in the world, but he wouldn't want them to be anyone else.
***
Lex had thought that the next rehearsal would go a lot better without Oliver yelling at everyone, but when they all again gathered in his house, he discovered that they'd forgotten what a micro-manager Chloe could be.
“I'm Watchtower, what did you expect?” she asked as they all groaned, looking at their rehearsal packets. Packets, mind, not just sheets.
Lex looked over his and discovered she had scheduled everything, down to bathroom breaks, when the bolts would be put into the stage and just when Clark was allowed to leave to save people. To give her credit, it was incredibly organized and made sure to address everyone's concerns, but Lex knew there was no way such order would last in the midst of their chaos.
And it didn't. Things got heated when Tess and Dinah went up against each other in a scene and Tess got the upper hand. Chloe had to call an emergency timeout. Clark had used the opportunity to leave, but wasn't back until an hour later due to an armed bank robbery, earthquake and bridge collapsing. Chloe had been bright red at that point, though she was already putting more plans together on the fly, which was very impressive considering.
A couple of hours later after she'd had to calm an irate Oliver down when Bart and Mia had been getting a bit too friendly, Lex noticed Chloe curling her hands into fists so hard they were leaving fingernail marks, and went to speak with Oliver.
“We're going to make your wife cry.”
“What?” Oliver looked around frantically.
Lex put a calming hand on his shoulder.
“Stop freaking out. Your overreacting is one of the things making her stressed. You're just going to have to talk to her. She should know better than anyone that you can't plan things so much. Especially with these people. We want this to be fun, remember?”
“Right,” Oliver said, visibly quieting, “right, you're right.”
“What a surprise,” Lex said dryly.
“Did I ever tell you how annoying you are?” Oliver asked.
“Frequently and then again.”
“Remind me to do it more often.”
“Oliver, tell me how annoying I am.”
“You're annoying, Lex.”
Oliver strode off to find his wife and Lex chuckled to himself before going back to using his allotted ten minutes to himself to try and make sense of the emails his board members were sending him.
Oliver and Chloe moved over to his side of the room, probably trying to get away from the others and obviously not seeing him behind his desk.
“-all I'm saying is that I don't want you stressed out. This was my thing and I don't want you to freak out over it.”
“Freak outs are a daily part of my life, Ollie,” she told him. “I'll deal.”
“Like you did when Tess suggested she might want to use the restroom at some point other than her allotted time period?”
“Point taken, O Technical One. Just...leave it to me.”
Oliver smiled and touched his nose to hers.
“You're my favorite over-doer, you know that?”
“I better be.”
“Never be another.”
“I'm very glad to hear it,” she said, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Lex decided now would be a great time to clear his throat.
“Hell, Luthor, why now?” Oliver complained.
“Cause I don't want a free show,” Lex said.
Oliver smiled.
“I highly doubt that.”
Chloe raised an eyebrow.
“Down, boys. Lex, I believe your ten minutes is up. Get back to work.”
Lex ground his teeth together and wondered if, because it was his house, he could call in a bomb threat.
The afternoon only got more hectic from there. Chloe's plans were rapidly dissolving and while she wasn't stressing out as much, everyone else was until Oliver secretly staged a coup and got put back in charge by promising not to yell at everyone anymore. How long that would last, Lex couldn't say, but he was willing to bet not very long. He also wondered how many director changes they would have before the big night.
***
Oliver reflected that the following few weeks were the best and worst of his life. In between the chaos, the fights over staging, the way Clark couldn't remember his lines because he didn't have time to practice them, Oliver's own irritation with Bart's continual flirting with his wife, his ward, and his ex-girlfriends, the constant directorial changes between him and Chloe, him and Tess, and Lois at one point, before everyone bit the bullet and appointed Victor unequivocally; there was fun. There was enjoyment and unity and a bit of wacky silliness.
Victor proved to be the perfect director because he wasn't hyper-sensitive to making everything perfect like Oliver, didn't over-plan like Chloe, actually cared unlike Tess, and wasn't a harpy in disguise like Lois. He managed to smooth everything over while keeping everything on track and Oliver's only regret was that it didn't happen until the week before opening. Granted, that was an important week.
It was dress rehearsal time and there'd been a mix-up with the costumes and Lois and Dinah were currently harassing the poor delivery guy who'd sent theirs to the wrong place. It was unfortunate, but Oliver pitied any acting production that didn't have a couple of speedsters to fix situations like this. In less than ten seconds, Bart had run to New York and gotten their costumes and earned himself some not-to-be-killed-for-flirting points.
“Okay, people,” Victor said, “we've got limited time to pull this off, so I want everyone who's not on stage finishing the set or making sure the costumes and makeup are good. Got it?”
“Aye, aye, Captain,” Bart said, snapping a quick salute and zipping back in two seconds, already dressed.
Oliver shifted uncomfortably because he was, unfortunately, actually wearing tights. At one point he and Lex had argued for a solid ten minutes about why Oliver couldn't just wear his Green Arrow gear. Lex had pointed out that Oliver was the one who'd wanted this to be authentic and he'd reluctantly capitulated and given Lex another check in the win column.
Oliver made his way on stage. Chloe had had a point earlier; he was in practically every scene. They were at the spot of the archery tournament, so almost everyone was on stage in some capacity.
“Fear not, fair lady,” he started, but there was a loud creaking sound and the stage roof started to sway and Oliver's eyes widened when he saw the bolts break. He threw himself across Chloe's body and yelled for everyone to get down.
Wind rushed past his cheek and he saw Bart speed Mia off the stage and started to revise his opinion of letting Bart anywhere near her. He had a moment of regret that that would be his last thought but the crushing blindness never came. Clark, for once, was not out helping someone else and had caught the steel frame before it started to fall and everyone cleared off the stage in a hurry before he set it down.
“I knew this whole thing was a big mistake,” Lois said, staring.
“Don't start, Lois,” Chloe said firmly.
Tess folded her arms across her chest.
“Now can we give up this ridiculous charade?”
“I don't think so,” Oliver said, stepping forward and cutting quite a dashing figure in his costume, despite the tights, if he did say so himself. “People, this is a call to battle. We've an opportunity here to do something against the odds, a chance for greatness. Should we give it up because of a little obstacle, a few challenges? I don't think so. No, we need to push forward, we need to take charge, we need to put on a play.”
There was a brief silence before Clark and Lex started laughing and Oliver stared at them, a little put-out.
“Um, honey,” Chloe asked, obviously struggling to keep her own laughter in check, “did you practice that?”
“No,” he protested, “that was all from the heart.”
“Well, kudos on the inspirational speech, dude,” AC said, “but it wasn't like we were about to go into battle against a supervillain. We'll just get it replaced.”
“Fine,” Oliver said grumpily and adjusted his tights as discretely as possible before going off to find some place that could hand deliver them a stage before tomorrow night. Despite his pride, he was feeling excited.
Chloe followed him and put a hand on his arm.
“You feeling okay there, Robin?”
“Never better, my lady,” he told her.
“Thanks for the dive and save back there,” she told him. “I'm beginning to see the perks of being married to a superhero.”
“I already knew those perks,” he told her, winking. “Besides, that was nothing.”
“Well, just so you know,” she told him, “Watchtower promises to be very appreciative to Green Arrow tonight.”
Oliver wished he didn't have to stay and practice this stupid play. Whose bright idea had that been?
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2011-10-05 08:13 am (UTC)“Right,” Oliver said, visibly quieting, “right, you're right.”
“What a surprise,” Lex said dryly.
“Did I ever tell you how annoying you are?” Oliver asked.
“Frequently and then again.”
“Remind me to do it more often.”
“Oliver, tell me how annoying I am.”
“You're annoying, Lex
LOL - Chloe and Packets... Laughed this is a riot. I am assuming that Crack fiction is the same as "make fun of?"
no subject
Date: 2011-10-06 01:00 am (UTC)And basically, yeah. Crack is making fun of it and making it crazy. :)
3rd part up soon!