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jesterladyficTitle: Grace Fills Up Uneven Nature
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Willow/Oz, Xander/Anya, slight Spike/Buffy if you squint :)
Summary: A rewrite of BTVS S4, but this time, I'm really focusing on Willow/Oz.
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. Some lines are from the show. The title is by George Hebert. This chapter's title is by Kenneth Graham
Chapter One
Chapter Two: No Panic Terror
Spike was only passing through Sunnydale. He willingly labeled himself glutton for punishment, but he figured he could take one more stab at the Slayer before heading off to find Dru again. He knew he'd have a better chance at reconciling with her if Buffy was dead. What he hadn't counted on was the presence of a government operation that came equipped with long distance weaponry.
He struggled against the bonds, but a few more taser blasts convinced him to play dead. Of course, he played dead
with his eyes open, but he hoped that only helped with the image. What it actually helped with was his ability to
observe the enormous facility he was brought to and to memorize the route out.
They stopped for a few minutes and a bunch of people in white coats surrounded him, poking, prodding. He felt quite
violated.
"I think we've found an excellent specimen to try the new behavior modification software on," a female voice said from somewhere behind his head.
Spike didn't like the sound of that. It was all Buffy's fault he was in here. His immediate desire was to leave and
make her pay for that fact. He waited until he was accompanied by only a few of the scientist types before making
his move. It wasn't hard. He had had time to recover from the taser blasts and the scientists were on the floor before
they knew it.
He ignored the many calls from occupants in the long row of cells and made his way toward the exit. He was almost out when the alarm sounded and he let a grin slide across his face. With any luck some soldiers would try for him on the way out. With or without them - he was headed to find the Slayer.
***
"Why did he have to leave?" Willow whined. Buffy listened with patience, but one would think Oz had left forever with the way Willow was talking. Buffy had been all on Willow's side during the werewolf fiasco of the past few days, but when Willow and Oz had reconciled, she figured that Willow's despair would soon give way to glee and allow the best friend time to fulfill her sacred duty. That hadn't happened.
"You said yourself he needs to figure out this wolf thing, Will. He'll come back and we'll make with the research. He
called you yesterday. He's coming home soon."
"But we could always talk. For hours. He just said he was coming. He said he couldn't put me in danger. Danger,
schmanger. I've been in that since I was born, living in Sunnydale."
"Oz is going through something right now," Buffy said, trying to soothe. "I remember first being called, it was
important to figure out what it all meant. But he's Oz, devoted to you and always will be."
"Can't you stay here and say lots more stuff like that?" Willow asked hopefully. Buffy shook her head.
"I'm on patrol, but I'm coming back early and we're going to that party. Big fun for Buffy and Willow."
"I'll wait here," Willow said sullenly. Buffy smiled with what she hoped was sympathy and left. She was prepared to
be the best best friend in the history of the world, but Slayer strength didn't help her bear moping better than anyone else.
***
Oz didn't believe he was perfect. He did believe that he tried his best to be a good person. Now he believed that he wasn't even a person. Obviously trying to be a good one would not work. Therefore, he needed to be a good werewolf. How he was supposed to do that, he did not know. But he couldn't do it on his own.
He knew he would be getting Willow's input, if she still even wanted to speak to him, and to ask for Giles' and Buffy's
help. But before he could do that, he needed to process, to calm down. And it wasn't easy.
He was trying to reconcile his desire to do good with the fact that he'd just killed. He'd made the decision, as a wolf
and as a man, but now that needed to fit into his moral beliefs. Or would he have to redefine those beliefs? Or by
redefining them, did that make them less moral? The thoughts overwhelmed him.
So he sat on a motel bed in a run down place outside of Sunnydale and pondered his future.
He'd talked to Willow the night before and told her he was coming home. He meant it, but now that he'd had time to
think about everything that had happened, he found that he was afraid to face her. The shame at what he had and
had almost done and could still do was hovering over him. And the fear, the fear of the unknown and what could
happen. Would he hurt her? Would he hurt others? What if he couldn't control himself? The questions were too
many.
He stood up and walked the length of the room.
"Running doesn't help," he finally said.
He would go back to Sunnydale and whatever questions he had, he would seek help in finding the answers. Didn't mean it would be easy.
***
Willow hoped Buffy would come back soon. She was started to sound horrible even to herself. She was still rational enough to realize that was the low point. She didn’t even bother to lock the door, wanting Buffy to come back that much sooner. The three seconds it would take to use the key could likely be fatal in her emotional development.
“Come in,” she said.
“Well, hello there, luv.”
“Spike!” Willow’s foggy brain finally clicked on and she scooted back against her headboard in alarm.
“Isn’t this nice?” he asked, moving closer in a predator’s stance. Willow’s heart started to race and visions of
broken bottles danced in her head.
“Um, not really,” she managed to squeak out.
“What? Not pleased to see me? And you and I always got on so well, Red. Well, I guess you’ll make a nice
present for the Slayer.”
“Sure, he doesn’t want to put me in danger, but then guess who just walks in,” Willow muttered to herself. “Boy
is his face going to be red when he finds my mutilated corpse.”
“I never mutilate, pet,” Spike assured her. “I could turn you. Make you like me. Stay young and nubile
forever? That’d put the Slayer’s knickers in a twist.”
“Uh, I prefer non-vampy Willow. She’s a skank.”
“Okay…” Spike answered, obviously not understanding. He was standing over her now. “Then, we’ll do it my
way.”
“I’ll scream!” she warned. A careless smile flashed across his face.
“Bonus.” The radio flipped on and loud music crashed into the room as Willow struggled for her life and felt her
life’s blood being taken.
The lights went out and Spike raised his head, blood staining his face. He was always a messy eater.
“What the?”
Willow whimpered beneath him, raising a hand to clutch at her neck. She felt slightly woozy, but immediately
kicked him, squirming out from under and racing towards the door.
“I like it when they run,” Spike said, following.
Outside in the hall, it was pitch dark, but that wouldn't bother him. Willow crawled her way down the hall, with other frenzied people tripping over her, hoping he'd lose her in the confusion, no matter how well he could see. He stopped short when he noticed the Slayer running towards him and several of the soldiers entering from the opposite direction. He growled, sounding frustrated.
“What is the bleeding matter with this town? Why do all the white hats come to the bloody mouth of hell?”
He dove through the window and vanished into the night.
Willow rested her head against the wall of the hallway and when the lights flickered on, that’s where Buffy found
her.
***
A knock sounded on the door and Willow flinched. Did Spike think she was that stupid? She’d already done the spell to revoke his invite to the dorm room. She felt drained despite the blood transfusion she’d received the night before.
Buffy went to answer the door with a reassuring smile at the miserable redhead.
“Relax, Will.” She opened the door to find Oz, newly returned.
“Hi.”
“Hi, Oz. Come in.” Buffy turned to Willow. “I’m just out to patrol. You two going to be okay here?”
“We’ll be fine,” Willow answered. “Be careful. Kill Spike.”
“Oh, I’m on it.” Buffy shut the door behind her and Oz took some cautious steps toward Willow’s side of the
room.
“What happened?”
“Oh, Spike wanted to make me his new, undead bride.”
“Really?”
“Even you doubt it and you love me,” she pouted. “Xander laughed when I told him that. But it’s true; he said
he would turn me. I guess that doesn’t mean anything, but it wasn’t like I was in the best state of mind to combat
anybody’s thoughts on the subject.”
“Your plate’s been kinda full these days,” Oz concurred.
“With huge, wolfy thoughts. I’m worried about you.”
“I know.” He moved to sit on her bed. “And I worry about you. I just, don’t know what’s going to happen. I
don’t want to put you through anything else.”
“Well, then we’ll work on it together.” Willow rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t anyone around here think I’m capable of
hard work? I am the researcher after all.”
“You do it well. I’m just saying you don’t have to put up with me.”
“Well, too bad. I want to.”
“You’re my favorite,” he said slowly.
“Favorite what?”
“Everything.” He moved closer and kissed her sweetly. She responded and it was a few minutes before she
broke it off.
“You know, it’s not like I’m not in danger all the time anyway. My torn up neck testifies to that big time. I could
have been all vampy when you got back and you never would’ve gotten a chance cause you were all scared about
hurting me yourself. There’s enough evil on this Hellmouth to do that for you, mister.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I don’t think I’ll be leaving your side too often anymore.”
“Well, that will be hard,” Willow said, smiling for the first time in days, “but I will endure as best I can.”
“My Will gives so much,” he replied, moving closer for another kiss.
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Willow/Oz, Xander/Anya, slight Spike/Buffy if you squint :)
Summary: A rewrite of BTVS S4, but this time, I'm really focusing on Willow/Oz.
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. Some lines are from the show. The title is by George Hebert. This chapter's title is by Kenneth Graham
Chapter One
Chapter Two: No Panic Terror
Spike was only passing through Sunnydale. He willingly labeled himself glutton for punishment, but he figured he could take one more stab at the Slayer before heading off to find Dru again. He knew he'd have a better chance at reconciling with her if Buffy was dead. What he hadn't counted on was the presence of a government operation that came equipped with long distance weaponry.
He struggled against the bonds, but a few more taser blasts convinced him to play dead. Of course, he played dead
with his eyes open, but he hoped that only helped with the image. What it actually helped with was his ability to
observe the enormous facility he was brought to and to memorize the route out.
They stopped for a few minutes and a bunch of people in white coats surrounded him, poking, prodding. He felt quite
violated.
"I think we've found an excellent specimen to try the new behavior modification software on," a female voice said from somewhere behind his head.
Spike didn't like the sound of that. It was all Buffy's fault he was in here. His immediate desire was to leave and
make her pay for that fact. He waited until he was accompanied by only a few of the scientist types before making
his move. It wasn't hard. He had had time to recover from the taser blasts and the scientists were on the floor before
they knew it.
He ignored the many calls from occupants in the long row of cells and made his way toward the exit. He was almost out when the alarm sounded and he let a grin slide across his face. With any luck some soldiers would try for him on the way out. With or without them - he was headed to find the Slayer.
***
"Why did he have to leave?" Willow whined. Buffy listened with patience, but one would think Oz had left forever with the way Willow was talking. Buffy had been all on Willow's side during the werewolf fiasco of the past few days, but when Willow and Oz had reconciled, she figured that Willow's despair would soon give way to glee and allow the best friend time to fulfill her sacred duty. That hadn't happened.
"You said yourself he needs to figure out this wolf thing, Will. He'll come back and we'll make with the research. He
called you yesterday. He's coming home soon."
"But we could always talk. For hours. He just said he was coming. He said he couldn't put me in danger. Danger,
schmanger. I've been in that since I was born, living in Sunnydale."
"Oz is going through something right now," Buffy said, trying to soothe. "I remember first being called, it was
important to figure out what it all meant. But he's Oz, devoted to you and always will be."
"Can't you stay here and say lots more stuff like that?" Willow asked hopefully. Buffy shook her head.
"I'm on patrol, but I'm coming back early and we're going to that party. Big fun for Buffy and Willow."
"I'll wait here," Willow said sullenly. Buffy smiled with what she hoped was sympathy and left. She was prepared to
be the best best friend in the history of the world, but Slayer strength didn't help her bear moping better than anyone else.
***
Oz didn't believe he was perfect. He did believe that he tried his best to be a good person. Now he believed that he wasn't even a person. Obviously trying to be a good one would not work. Therefore, he needed to be a good werewolf. How he was supposed to do that, he did not know. But he couldn't do it on his own.
He knew he would be getting Willow's input, if she still even wanted to speak to him, and to ask for Giles' and Buffy's
help. But before he could do that, he needed to process, to calm down. And it wasn't easy.
He was trying to reconcile his desire to do good with the fact that he'd just killed. He'd made the decision, as a wolf
and as a man, but now that needed to fit into his moral beliefs. Or would he have to redefine those beliefs? Or by
redefining them, did that make them less moral? The thoughts overwhelmed him.
So he sat on a motel bed in a run down place outside of Sunnydale and pondered his future.
He'd talked to Willow the night before and told her he was coming home. He meant it, but now that he'd had time to
think about everything that had happened, he found that he was afraid to face her. The shame at what he had and
had almost done and could still do was hovering over him. And the fear, the fear of the unknown and what could
happen. Would he hurt her? Would he hurt others? What if he couldn't control himself? The questions were too
many.
He stood up and walked the length of the room.
"Running doesn't help," he finally said.
He would go back to Sunnydale and whatever questions he had, he would seek help in finding the answers. Didn't mean it would be easy.
***
Willow hoped Buffy would come back soon. She was started to sound horrible even to herself. She was still rational enough to realize that was the low point. She didn’t even bother to lock the door, wanting Buffy to come back that much sooner. The three seconds it would take to use the key could likely be fatal in her emotional development.
“Come in,” she said.
“Well, hello there, luv.”
“Spike!” Willow’s foggy brain finally clicked on and she scooted back against her headboard in alarm.
“Isn’t this nice?” he asked, moving closer in a predator’s stance. Willow’s heart started to race and visions of
broken bottles danced in her head.
“Um, not really,” she managed to squeak out.
“What? Not pleased to see me? And you and I always got on so well, Red. Well, I guess you’ll make a nice
present for the Slayer.”
“Sure, he doesn’t want to put me in danger, but then guess who just walks in,” Willow muttered to herself. “Boy
is his face going to be red when he finds my mutilated corpse.”
“I never mutilate, pet,” Spike assured her. “I could turn you. Make you like me. Stay young and nubile
forever? That’d put the Slayer’s knickers in a twist.”
“Uh, I prefer non-vampy Willow. She’s a skank.”
“Okay…” Spike answered, obviously not understanding. He was standing over her now. “Then, we’ll do it my
way.”
“I’ll scream!” she warned. A careless smile flashed across his face.
“Bonus.” The radio flipped on and loud music crashed into the room as Willow struggled for her life and felt her
life’s blood being taken.
The lights went out and Spike raised his head, blood staining his face. He was always a messy eater.
“What the?”
Willow whimpered beneath him, raising a hand to clutch at her neck. She felt slightly woozy, but immediately
kicked him, squirming out from under and racing towards the door.
“I like it when they run,” Spike said, following.
Outside in the hall, it was pitch dark, but that wouldn't bother him. Willow crawled her way down the hall, with other frenzied people tripping over her, hoping he'd lose her in the confusion, no matter how well he could see. He stopped short when he noticed the Slayer running towards him and several of the soldiers entering from the opposite direction. He growled, sounding frustrated.
“What is the bleeding matter with this town? Why do all the white hats come to the bloody mouth of hell?”
He dove through the window and vanished into the night.
Willow rested her head against the wall of the hallway and when the lights flickered on, that’s where Buffy found
her.
***
A knock sounded on the door and Willow flinched. Did Spike think she was that stupid? She’d already done the spell to revoke his invite to the dorm room. She felt drained despite the blood transfusion she’d received the night before.
Buffy went to answer the door with a reassuring smile at the miserable redhead.
“Relax, Will.” She opened the door to find Oz, newly returned.
“Hi.”
“Hi, Oz. Come in.” Buffy turned to Willow. “I’m just out to patrol. You two going to be okay here?”
“We’ll be fine,” Willow answered. “Be careful. Kill Spike.”
“Oh, I’m on it.” Buffy shut the door behind her and Oz took some cautious steps toward Willow’s side of the
room.
“What happened?”
“Oh, Spike wanted to make me his new, undead bride.”
“Really?”
“Even you doubt it and you love me,” she pouted. “Xander laughed when I told him that. But it’s true; he said
he would turn me. I guess that doesn’t mean anything, but it wasn’t like I was in the best state of mind to combat
anybody’s thoughts on the subject.”
“Your plate’s been kinda full these days,” Oz concurred.
“With huge, wolfy thoughts. I’m worried about you.”
“I know.” He moved to sit on her bed. “And I worry about you. I just, don’t know what’s going to happen. I
don’t want to put you through anything else.”
“Well, then we’ll work on it together.” Willow rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t anyone around here think I’m capable of
hard work? I am the researcher after all.”
“You do it well. I’m just saying you don’t have to put up with me.”
“Well, too bad. I want to.”
“You’re my favorite,” he said slowly.
“Favorite what?”
“Everything.” He moved closer and kissed her sweetly. She responded and it was a few minutes before she
broke it off.
“You know, it’s not like I’m not in danger all the time anyway. My torn up neck testifies to that big time. I could
have been all vampy when you got back and you never would’ve gotten a chance cause you were all scared about
hurting me yourself. There’s enough evil on this Hellmouth to do that for you, mister.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t here. I don’t think I’ll be leaving your side too often anymore.”
“Well, that will be hard,” Willow said, smiling for the first time in days, “but I will endure as best I can.”
“My Will gives so much,” he replied, moving closer for another kiss.
