jesterladyfic | Doctor Who Oneshot: A Shenanigan Shy

Title: A Shenanigan Shy
Rating: PG
Summary: The Doctor and Donna decide where to go next and the Doctor just might regret asking.
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who. The title is from The Lion, Witch, Wardrobe.

A Shenanigan Shy

It had been an hour since she’d last mouthed off to him. He was beginning to feel the loss. Winding her up seemed the only option.

“Where to? Offering this one time only, special deal to any place in the
universe, any time, any fashion! Ginger and temp and mouth, all needing a new planet
to explore. Not to mention myself and all the boredom I’ve got stored up since our
last adventure, about twenty minutes ago. Achoo.”

He rather thought that the sneeze he hadn’t been able to contain was a poor
way to end his egging of Donna Noble. Especially since she was snickering at him as
she tried to give the regular ‘bless you.’ Then that look came into her eye.

“Oh, I know exactly where I want to go. You’re in for it now. Unless you
already know, which you might since you keep a lot of useless information in that
side-burned head of yours, we could do a little time tracking. Figure out a mystery
which has plagued mankind for centuries.”

“Or just you.”

“Take me to where the first person said ‘God bless you’ when someone sneezed.”

He stared.

“You’ve got to be…to be loony in the head. That’s what it is, pure lunacy.
I always know how to get the crazy ones. ‘Take me to the edible rainforest of
Carazantha, Doctor.’ ‘Take me to see Endless Night Pantheon on the Moon of Perpetual
Light, Doctor.’ ‘Take me to meet the beginning of my family tree, Doctor.’ But you,
you’ve got to go and pick a tradition associated with the nose.”

“The Moon of Perpetual what?”

“Never mind. You sure about this? I mean, come on, loads of shopping
complexes left in this galaxy, though remind me to chastise myself later for
mentioning it. Or something in the outdoors.” He slapped his hand against the
console. “We could go to the Herb Gardens of the Kworso Sector. I’ve been meaning
to stock up and they’ve got the largest selection. Make so much good tea there.”

“Say, Doctor,” Donna said, starting to laugh, “what’s a Timelord’s favorite
he-“

“No, no, just don’t. No, really don’t.” He moved closer, shaking his finger
in her face. “Do you know how many times I’ve heard that joke or some rendition of
it? How many times it’s been pointed out to me?” He ran his hand through his hair.
“Fifteen thousand and twenty six, that’s how many times. Oh, I tell you, no, wait,
I’ll show you.”

He ran across the room and out the door and he crashed and banged from deep
inside the Tardis and things being thrown and his trainers were slapping heavily
against the grated floor. He reappeared and waved a notebook in front of her face,
flipping it open and reading bits to her. Donna leaned over his shoulder as he
flashed past pages with names like Jamie, Harry, Ace and Peri and a whole bunch of
other names even he couldn't read he was going so fast.

“That’s quite an entourage you’ve got there.”

“Oh, and they’re all such clever beings, aren’t they? The only ones to
possibly think that thyme is the Timelord herb of choice. Well, I’ve had it. I used
to laugh at them. I used to reward them for their cheek, but no more, oh, no more.
That’s it, Donna Noble, it’s the Ice Rings of Alaxara for you.”

“Oi, it’s not my fault you’re all tetchy.” She snatched the book out of his
hands. “You wrote down fifteen thousand and twenty six times someone took the mickey
out of you and now you’re saying we’re the lunatics? I don’t think so. You said I
got to pick the next location. Sneezing, blessing, now! Get your skinny arse over
to the controls and make it happen!”

He frowned and thought for a moment, then a smile lit up his face. It would
be rather fun to see the moment a worldwide tradition started, even if it was
superstitious nonsense. It had never occurred to him before. Still, the little things, that’s where it was.

“Then I’m making you a thyme salad and you’ll eat it all,” Donna kept talking.

“Well, I don’t think so. You’ve got a lot of weight with me, Donna Noble,
but thyme and me, we’re not on good terms. It’s too sore a subject for my hearts to
bear. Now, let’s find us a good sneeze.” He took the book back and slipped it in
his bigger-on-the-inside pockets. The book was important to him. It was a sum of
himself in some ways. He grinned manically at her as he flipped the controls.
“Allons-y!”