Wend Their Ways Together: Chapter Seven

[jesterladyfic]

That lunch in the cafeteria was the first of many meals that Buffy and Tara would share together, alone and with the others. Tara was quickly acclimated into the Scoobies, each of them finding reassurance in her steadiness and discovering with delight the rich springs of humor that were hidden in her, ready to spring up without warning. Tara provided a steady rock of quirks that had been missing from their group since Oz left. Everyone trusted her implicitly and as time went on and her magic aided them more, their lives often fell into her hands when Buffy and Spike weren’t around.

Between Buffy and Tara had sprung up a very natural friendship that went deeper than Buffy ever would have imagined that day they had met. The two of them spent hours together, doing homework or girly stuff, but especially planning out the wedding. One of those days was a shopping trip which proved to be a big part in developing their friendship. Starting off innocently enough, the pair entered the shoe store. Buffy’s eyes wandered greedily over the racks and shelves and the store simply stuffed to the brim with shoes. Glowing, shining, affordable shoes! Effortlessly multi-tasking, Buffy tried on shoes and regaled Tara with stories of Spike’s antics.

“So then, you won’t believe who knocked the cop out: Spike. And what
does he do but say, ‘Hello cutie’ as if we weren’t mortal enemies. Then he sits
down and starts explaining the inner workings of a demon’s mind. As if I wanted
to know the intimate details to the motivations of a sadistic freak like
Angelus-” Buffy’s voice trailed off as she saw the tears in Tara’s eyes and the
shame flooding her face.

“Oh no, I just said something bad, didn’t I? I walked all over a painful
memory. I’m sorry, Tara.”

“N-no, no. I mean, you d-didn’t. I’m not-you’re fine. I don’t wanna-
wanna i-impose.”

“Say no more,” Buffy assured her. “I’m all about imposition. Is that a
word? Anyway, I know the perfect cure for my big mouth; sticking lots of food
into it. Come on, I’ll buy you lunch, or rather, my mom will buy you lunch, and
we can talk.” Buffy led the protesting Tara to a quiet café in the mall and they
ordered some lunch.

“So, tell me what I said,” Buffy asked after they’d ordered.

“It’s just, I- I-I don’t know how to say without making your job harder
and causing you to h-hate me.”

“Tara, are you totally wacky? Unless you’re planning on killing me,
which isn’t an unusual occurrence by the way, I don’t need to fight you. And
remember, I am marrying a serial-killing, torture-loving, murderous, tried-
to-kill-me-I-don’t-know-how-many-times vampire - who’s really cute,” Buffy added
as an afterthought. “Anyway, I can handle anything you throw at me.”

“Well, i-it’s just, I’m a- I have a- my family is-“ Tara stopped and took
a breath. “I’m part demon. A-all the women in my family are. It fully develops
on our t-twentieth birthday. Mine’s next year. I-I didn’t want anyone to know,
because I was ashamed and I-I’ve only just made a life here, I d-didn’t want to
l-lose it.” Buffy made an ‘oh’ face and swallowed hard.

“Tara, we don’t want to lose you either. Do you know what a godsend
you’ve been these past months? I’d have gone out of my mind with no girl but
Anya to talk to. Admittedly, not so much anymore. But do you know how many
times your magic has saved somebody’s life on patrol? If there’s one thing I’ve
learned being the Slayer, it’s that being a demon is not what makes you bad.
It’s your actions and choices. And if that doesn’t convince you, do you want me
to repeat everything I just said about marrying a soulless demon? Maybe there is
some cause for concern, but, hey, we’ve got a year to worry about it. Ooh, I bet
we can even get a ‘dear lord’ and a glasses polishing from Giles about it.” Tara
smiled in relief and started to eat as fast as she could as if to avoid showing
anymore of her emotions.

Buffy smiled back even as she felt the opposite on the inside. She did
mean what she said, she did. But she felt squeamish about Tara’s revelation all
the same. Being the Slayer meant she had to make hard decisions about who was
evil and who was not. Mistakes about that often meant someone’s life. Her
Slayer senses were screaming at her 24/7 as it was for loving a vampire and one without a soul at that. Buffy knew the only reason that she was even starting to realize that all demons weren’t bad and all humans weren’t good was because of Spike.

True, the process had started back with Oz and his wolfing out and then Faith’s rogue Slayer issues, even Anya to some extent; but it was only because now she truly wanted a demon to be good that she actually believed it. Buffy flinched at the truth of her motives, just as she was ashamed that even now, she was starting to regard Tara in a different light. And this brought to light the most painful thought of all. If all demons were bad, Spike would eventually turn on her.
Buffy made sure Tara remained blissfully unaware of Buffy’s mixed feelings and Buffy strove to repress them until that night when she and Spike met for patrolling. Over the past few months she had become closer to Spike than she’d ever dreamed possible, and she knew that if anyone could help her sort out her muddled thoughts, it would be Spike.

*****

When she found Spike in the cemetery, Buffy jumped on him and stayed there for a long time. Spike was startled, but didn’t mind her current position really and stroked her hair. Finally, she loosened her hold, but didn’t let go.

“Luv, what’s up? If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were vulnerable.”

“Spike, I’m bad. I’m a bad Slayer, a bad person, a bad judge and a total
hypocrite. I have no right to say anything against you when I’m just as bad,
though not all happy with the murdering - there I go again. I kill demons, maybe
some don’t deserve it, and I’m-I’m a bad friend.”

“Whoa, hold on there, pet. Let’s establish some facts here. I will readily
concede that not all demons need killing, from your point of view. But they
aren’t the ones you kill. Them, more often than not, attack you, not the other
way around. The peaceful demons don’t go anywhere where they might meet the
Slayer’s gentle touch. As far as I know, you haven’t killed anyone who didn’t
deserve it, again from your point of view.”

“But I tried to kill you.”

“And, to quote a popular phrase of yours, duh much? Hello, I tried to kill you,
Slayer!” Buffy visibly calmed down a bit and obviously started using rational
thought.

“Oh yeah. Ok, I get that. I do.”

“What’s gotten you so riled up, kitten?”

“Oh, Tara told me something today that got me all inner-contemplative. I
realized that my black and white view of the world is changing, but only from
selfish motives and Buffy and the Slayer aren’t too happy with each other. One
wants all demons to be good; one wants them all to be bad.” Spike raised a
scarred eyebrow; surprised and honored that Buffy would come to him of all people
with these worries, and thought a moment.

“Alright, so you’re not perfect. Being the Slayer means that life ain’t gonna be
easy, pet. You’ll have to make a lot of hard choices. And yeah, you’ll probably
go through grief, maybe kill someone who deserved it that you loved. Hell, you
already have. But then you’ll heal and be stronger. The only way to get through
this life is to live in it. Rest assured, luv, I will block any pain that I can
out of your life. And, Buffy…” He leaned in close, looking right into her eyes,
getting straight to the truth of her fear… “I will never cause any of it,
leastways, not the kind you’re talking about.”


***

It amazed her that he knew what she was really afraid of, though she was sincere about her doubts of her own morality.

“I’m sorry for doubting you, Spike,” Buffy mumbled, unused to apologizing to
vampires, even ones she was engaged to. Spike was probably just as unused to
receiving such apologies.

“You of all people should know how many reasons I’ve given you to doubt me. No
blame here, pet.” They were quiet for awhile, resting on a tombstone together
and staking a few vamps.

“Now, what’s the witch got to do with your being so spooked?”

“Well, she told me today that she’s part demon, though not fully developed and it
scared me. I just wish I didn’t have to have friends where I’m worried about if
they’re good or not. And that got me thinking and then, the poor girl. She was
so frightened to tell me.” Spike listened to all this with a look of incredulity
on his face.

“Bollocks.”

“What!”

“If Tara’s a demon, then I’d hate to think about what I really am.”

“What do you mean?”

“Girl’s not a demon. She is an extremely talented witch, but nothing else. I
could smell it if she was. I could sense it. Whoever fed her that folderol
didn’t know what the bloody hell they were talking about.”

“But she said all her family, all the women were.” Recognition dawned in Spike’s eyes as she said that, but he only shook his head and chuckled.

“My, my, what a piece of work. Makes me wish I had them around a few times in the last hundred years or so.”

“What are you going on about? Spike, I’m beginning to get the old urges to put
something wooden through your heart.”

“Keep your knickers on, Slayer. I think this is something I should talk to the
witch about first. I promise you’ll know, but she might not believe me at first
tell.”

“Fine,” Buffy grumbled. “But remember, I get first rights in all other Spike-
related issues.”

“Believe me, luv,” he said suggestively, “Spike wants you to have exclusive
rights in everything regarding him.” Buffy flushed and pressed a little closer to him.

“Everything?” she murmured.

“Well, you can start here and work your way down the list,” he offered, brushing
her lips with his.

“Ooh, Spike-lips, lips of Spike. And all mine. Suddenly being Buffy doesn’t sound so bad.”

***

The next morning as everyone was gathered at Giles,’ Spike drew Tara into the kitchen away from the others.

“Tara, Buffy told me about yesterday.”

“S-she did?” Tara blushed.

“Yeah, and do you know what I told her? It’s rot. You’re no more a
demon than Xander is.”

“B-but I am, I-I have to be.”

“Cause your dad told you so?”

“All the women-“

“What all the women in your family are is being held down and kept in
line by a lie. The males in your family made it up to control you. I’ve seen it
before.”

“But, I-I’ve seen-“

“Illusions, hallucinations and the power of suggestion, pet. No more.”

“T-this isn’t real? I-I’m not-“ Tara started to cry. “I’m sorry, b-but
you-you have to be wrong.”

“Well, ducks, I’ve got two things here that will prove you wrong and me
right. One, I’m a vampire. I can sense other demons. I don’t sense anything demonic in you. Two, can I punch your face?”

“What?”

“Can I punch your face? Chip in my head, won’t let me hurt humans. Ring
any bells?”

“Oh, o-ok. J-just, not my nose.”

“Certainly. I’m very attached to not being hit in the nose myself.”
Spike threw as gentle a punch as he could, while still setting off the chip, at
her jaw. Tara cried out in pain a second before he did as he grabbed his head in
agony.

“S-spike, I-I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. Do you believe me?”

“I-I think I have to.” Joy spread over her face as Tara realized her
freedom.

“Good, glad some birds have sense. Now shall we go regale the Scoobies
with our tale of adventure and excitement?”

“Yes, please.” Together they headed back to the living room and proceeded to
regale everyone with the story.

***

Buffy listened to all of it with relief, not just for Tara’s sake, but because she realized that after Spike’s talk with her last night, she wouldn’t have minded even if Tara was part demon. Buffy’d grown so close to Tara that unless Tara was actually evil, it didn’t matter if she was demon, witch or part porcupine. She belonged.