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jesterladyficChapter Nine:
Having notified Giles of their next destination, they weren’t surprised to see Willow waiting for them at the airport.
“Hey, guys! I’m happy to see you, well not happy you’re here for the reason you are, cause Buffy being gone is bad, but happy to see you all alive, like Spike, who we all thought burned up.”
“Red, see you haven’t lost the rambling touch,” Spike told her dryly. She smiled a little.
“Sorry. It’s just something happening to Buffy gives me the wiggins and I start to do that thing that I do when I get the wiggins and...”
“Ramble away, Will, just answer us one question,” Faith interrupted. “Where’s Kennedy?” Willow turned bright red and stammered, looking at the floor.
“I-I don’t know?”
“You asking us or telling us, Will?” Spike forced her head up gently.
“Telling,” she mumbled, returning her head to looking at the floor. “We aren’t together. Just not- Kennedy just isn’t down with my Willow-vibe magic-ness and I couldn’t handle…differences she had.”
“Thank God!” Faith released her breath. Andrew did a little jig on the sidewalk. Spike starting walking a bit more jauntily.
“Okay, that’s cleared up then. Now, Buffy.”
“I tried the locator spell, but no luck with the finding of her actual body. I did get this weird spirit sense of her though, like she was hovering nearby, or part of
her was.”
“Do you know where?” Faith asked.
“I was working on that when you guys got here, so I’ll keep it up when we get back home. Sorry, I only have a little house. Looks like it’ll be the floor for you.”
“We’ve been worse places,” Andrew said, and then recounted their tale for her. Spike and Faith noticed that a lot of things seemed to have changed since then, such as Andrew’s thrall adventure and his now possessing manly pectorals and a large fighting repertoire. Willow listened politely, but clearly her mind was somewhere else.
“So you saw Oz? How-how’s he doing?”
“Great,” Spike told her. “Planted him off with Giles. You should ring him.”
“Really? Do you think so? It’s been such a long time and so much has happened and well, maybe.” Willow concentrated on her driving and when they reached her tiny apartment went directly to work on the locator spell. Faith, Spike and Andrew dropped all their stuff and rested for awhile. The constant traveling was unsettling, even with all the Council’s money to pave the way into nice hotels.
“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me,” Spike groaned as he sipped some blood Willow had thoughtfully picked up for him.
“Who would you be then?” Andrew asked seriously.
“Anybody’s better than this at the moment,” he replied. “If I wasn’t me, I’d say screw this and go eat a nice, virgin girl about sixteen, then have me a long shag and some kip.”
“Thanks for the visual, Blondie,” Faith joined in. “Wanted that for about the next never.”
“Who would you be, Faith?” Andrew inquired, recovering from the bluntness of Spike’s comment.
“Dunno. Somebody with family, not so much with the jail. But I’ll keep the body, suits me fine.”
“Yes, it does,” he agreed before hastily moving onto himself. “I think I’d like to be an astronaut, maybe a rocket scientist or a guitarist. Anyway, I’d be cooler than cool and have people screaming my name everywhere I go.”
“Like that would ever happen!” Faith scoffed, sitting back and closing her eyes. “Now shut your yap and let me sleep.”
“Not so much with the good.” Willow popped her head in. “Not if you want to get this trail while it’s fresh. Her essence is nearby, but it’ll go kaput real soon, unless we go now.”
“We’re on it.” Faith jumped up and pulled Andrew to his feet, he was having trouble disentangling his feet from the stool rung he was resting them on. Spike stretched and grabbed a battle axe.
“Let’s go. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
***
Willow led them to a street down town where vendors peddled their wares and artsy cafes crowded the buildings.
“It’s coming from…” Willow pointed. “The playground?” They hurried forward into a small park, where the traditional swings and slide had been set up for the children of the neighborhood to use. None were occupying it now. The only person in sight was a middle-aged, gray-haired man sitting in one of the swings as if he were waiting for them.
“Ethan!” Willow gasped.
“Who’s Ethan?” Andrew asked.
“Magic guy,” Spike answered. “Does Chaos mojo. Guess I’m getting the double
meaning part of the poem now.”
“Did you take Buffy?” Willow demanded, her hair starting to glow as she gathered magical forces around her.
Ethan shifted nervously on his swing, but shook his head and spoke in his smooth, British accent.
“No, but I’m definitely involved in this. I’ll admit it straight out. Nothing
personal, just following my path, but I’m trying something new this time. Open confrontation. I’m quite nervous about it, actually.”
“Oh, you better be.” Faith lifted her knife and caressed it with her other hand. “I hear you’re a fair tell at singing pretty songs. Let’s see what you’d sing for us
now.” He swallowed hard, but remained where he was.
“Always a big fan of music, but not at this moment. Let’s just calm down, shall we? Why don’t you all sit and I’ll tell you some more?” They warily eyed him, but seeing as he was ready to talk, did as he suggested. But as soon as it happened, their legs stuck and nothing they did would budge them. Whatever had touched the ground, stayed there and for most of them, that left them in pretty humorous positions. Willow started to mutter, but Ethan shook his head at her.
“It will take you awhile to break the spell. By then, you’ll already be gone.”
“Where?” Spike growled. He’d had his fill of not being able to move lately.
“Special little place. You’ll love it. You get to be different, not have to deal with the pressures of your life.”
“What if I like the pressures of my life?” Faith ground out.
“Really? Well, that’s a shame. Oh well. You’ll still look the same, but won’t
be able to implement yourselves in quite the same way.” Willow’s chanting grew louder. Ethan started to hurry his words. “Let me see; did I miss anything? Oh, try not to get locked up in a drug rehab for acting crazy and like yourselves. And there might be repercussions if you start slaughtering everyone you see. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the glamour, maybe even want to stay. But maybe you’ll get out, and I’ll try not to be here when you do, but I do have serious staying and gloating problems.”
“You’re gonna have more than that when I get through with you!” Faith told him. Spike just sat there and waited for Willow to break the spell. He knew she could. With that mother of all spells she’d pulled off last year, there was nothing she could not do.
“Too bad old Ripper isn’t here,” mused Ethan. “This would tickle him awfully, but then you’ll be seeing “him” soon. Now actually. Ta ta.” Ethan waved his hand and muttered a few words. Sweat poured down his cheek.
A cloud formed around the four on the ground and they choked and gasped on it, even Spike. It surrounded them; it filled them and crammed into every part of them. Then it disappeared, pulled headlong from their bodies and it took them with it. Four screams split the air as they felt all they were ripped from themselves and sent soaring into the air with the cloud. A cold journey and empty, until they slammed into something and were shoved into it. It felt like going back into themselves, but something was wrong. Utterly wrong. This was them, their bodies. But some things were not there, others were. They weren’t standing outside on a playground in Brazil. They were on the edge of the Sunnydale crater. The sun burned overhead, only it wasn’t the sun, it was huge floodlights. People were everywhere. Spike was kissing Buffy.
The shock of once more being in her arms and feeling her lips was so wonderful that he threw himself into it with enthusiasm. He could feel her pouring into his every sense. Something still wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t want to analyze anything while he was involved in this incredible kiss. Through the fog of his mind, he heard someone yell,
“Cut! That was excellent.” Buffy broke away from him immediately. He almost cried out at the loss, but unwilling to protest for fear of one of her violent reactions remained quiet. Spike looked around him and noticed he was on a set of something made to look like the crater. Cameras and lights and people filled the room. A woman came over and brushed makeup over his face; he started to protest, telling the woman that that phase of his life was over, when he saw Buffy run away from him and jump into the arms of a man standing on the other side of the camera. Pangs tore through him, but he couldn’t stop watching.
“Boss,” he heard from behind him. Spike turned to see Faith, Willow and Andrew standing there. He almost fainted with relief. He wasn’t alone.
“What the bloody hell is going on?” he asked. They stared at him blankly.
“We’re in some sort of set, some sort of alternate world,” Willow theorized.
“That was Buffy, but she doesn’t seem to know you the same way we do. This looks like a television studio and we’re the actors! At least, that’s what side of the camera we’re on.” Andrew pointed to all the equipment.
“It all says Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight. What does that mean?”
“In this world, Buffy’s a show?” Faith questioned. “You got to be kidding. Who’d watch that?”
“How do we get out of here?” Andrew wondered. “They all think we’re actors. Hey, that’s pretty cool.”
“No, it isn’t,” Spike said sadly, watching “Buffy” snog another fellow. “Look at that nancy-boy. Betcha he’s got a girly name.”
“Calm down, boss. That’s not your girl,” Faith assured him.
“Looks the hell like her,” he muttered. Willow started to hyperventilate.
“Look, look! It’s, she’s not dead-it’s Anya!” They all turned and saw her, walking around the other side of the set, chatting with Xander and Dawn and some man in a baseball cap that had Joss on the front.
“This world, she must not have died, but lived to do the…the show,” Willow said.
“James!” the man in the baseball cap cried. “Come here. We need to work on this bit here. You too, Sarah.” Spike and the rest stared as the woman they knew as Buffy disentangled herself from her man and walked over to the group, turning over her shoulder and calling to Spike,
“James, let’s go.” Spike frowned.
“Oh! I’m James here. Who the bloody hell would name someone that?” he grumbled as he walked over. “Figure out how to leave!” he demanded of the rest of the group over his shoulder.
They were discussing positions for the next scene when he got there.
‘Great,’ thought Spike. ‘My entire existence seems to be a bad sci-fi freak show.’ Baseball-cap-man was saying,
“I want you Sarah and James to be here, canoodling and such on the back of the bus. Buffy’s still timid about your relationship, but she’s definitely going for it. Spike is just happy to be alive and with her.” Spike rolled his eyes at this.
“Joss,” Xander asked, “did the script get changed again? I thought both Tony and
I were going to go in, but it looks like it’s just me now.”
“Ah, Tony-the big star-” said the man who must be Joss. “Had to go to a special singing thing today. So it’s just you and we’ll send in Emma after awhile to keep you from getting beat up too much by the two “superheroes.” Everybody laughed except Spike. Apparently this was funny.
“So, James and I do our thing, have our dialogue, then Nicky comes in to berate us, Emma enters wanting her reunion orgasms and then we’ll cut to the hospital?” Sarah asked.
“Exactly. So, get behind there and try not to make Freddy jealous,” Joss said. Once again, everybody but Spike laughed. “James, you doing okay? Don’t need to get a double for you, do I? James?” he added when Spike didn’t respond.
“What? Oh, right. Yeah, sure. All good.”
“What’s with the accent?” Nick asked. “Normally you can’t wait to stop using it.”
“Well, uh, just trying to do well. New form of…method-acting.” Spike hurriedly searched his brain for movie lingo to use.
“You don’t need to brain up,” Emma told him. “Your reviews were really good this morning. And you got nominated and everything.”
“What? Well, good. But I got to go.”
“Right, well, we’ll call you when we’re ready to get started,” Sarah called after him, confused. Spike quickly walked to where his people stood.
“Right, we got to get gone, they’ll know us for phonies sure,” he told them. “It’s not an alternate reality, it’s the Real World: an Alternate Reality!”
“How do you think I feel?” Faith snapped. “Some old bat named Marti came along and told me I gotta go play nursemaid to Wood when you’re done smooching your beloved Buffy.”
“It isn’t her!” Spike growled. “She wants Prince Charming over there.” He pointed to the man she’d been kissing earlier.
“Well, Kennedy’s dead here and I have to mourn her,” Willow said. “But listen, we might have a chance to get out of here. I can read the signature patterns on each of us left over from Ethan’s spell. If I can get us all alone and work on it, we could probably break it.”
“You sure, Red?” Spike asked her impatiently.
“Well not one-hundred-percent-I-know-we’re-all-fine-sure. But hopefully no one will end up with cat’s ears by the time I’m done.”
“I hope not.” Andrew shivered. “That would be horrible.”
“Right people! Let’s get moving.” Spike and Sarah moved onto the corner of the set where the school bus was located. Spike felt completely awkward, like it was their first date. He was supposed to be kissing and wooing this woman who he didn’t even know, while she was wearing Buffy’s body and facial expressions like a costume, and now they wanted him to take his shirt off. Normally he’d be only too happy to go shirtless in front of Buffy, but this wasn’t Buffy.
They settled down; she was wiping off nasty red stuff they’d smeared on him. The camera trained on them and thank God, she had a big long speech before he had to say anything.
“I can’t believe you’re not dead. I mean, I know you did die, I saw it, but you’re not dead now. I thought one of us would be gone when all this was over and now that it’s over, I don’t know what to think.” This was just so much of how he’d wanted to hear her react to his being alive, that he had to try to talk.
“Buff-” he began, reaching for her. She stopped him with a finger on his lips.
“Don’t say anything. I need to say this.” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve always had issues with guys. I know you know that. I thought I needed time for me, I told Angel that, but what I needed was the right guy. I don’t know if it will be forever, but right now, that guy is you. If you still want me.”
“Always,” he whispered, caught up in the moment. This time when he reached for her, she responded and the washcloth fell from her hands as he embraced her. Their lips met and for him, time stopped. This was his heaven.
“Still macking on the evil undead?” Nick interrupted them. “Can you just wait till you get a room and I don’t have to watch?”
“Don’t have to watch now, whelp!” Spike said tersely. The camera blinked off.
“That’s not your line, James.” Spike looked chagrined.
“Sorry, uh what is it?”
“Don’t you have macking of your own to do?”
“Right, uh, don’t you have macking of your own to do?” The camera blinked off again.
“I need some more, James. Let’s leave out the uh too.”
“Okay. Don’t you have macking of your own to do?”
“Like with me?” Emma walked in and wrapped her arms around Nick. “We are together
again, right? I mean, you said that and all before I almost died. Was that just a goodbye-soothe-your-last-moment’s thing?”
“No, no,” Nick hasted to assure her. “We’re of the good. I just wanted to let Buffy know we needed to get to the hospital now. A lot of these girls are more wounded than we can help them with.”
“Oh right!” Sarah jumped up. “I’m so sorry, of course let’s go.”
“Slayer,” sighed Spike. “Always got to be the big hero.”
“James, that’s not your line.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve bloody well completely forgotten everything. Can I take a few,
learn it again?”
“It’s all right,” Joss decided. “We’re ahead of schedule for once and there’s some editing to be done and some story work. Go home, study your script and we’ll pick it up again tomorrow. See what a nice director I am?”
“You’re the best, Joss,” Sarah told him, grinning. “Freddy, let’s go home. See you all tonight.”
Spike watched longingly as Freddy and Sarah walked off, presumably to do things that only he should be allowed to do with her, well, with his Buffy anyway. Spike walked back to Faith, Willow and Andrew, who looked uncomfortable and completely out of place.
“Quick, let’s get outta here and work on that spell thingy.”
“Please yes,” Willow said. The four of them got out as quickly as possible, not
stopping for “costume” changes or makeup removal on their way out, only to pick up their personalized scripts and a copy of Who’s Who in the Buffy World.
The door to the studio stopped Spike in his tracks.
“It’s day out, I can’t go out there.”
“Oh, shooey,” Willow agreed. “Plus, we don’t have anywhere to go. We’re all new
and outsidey and don’t know where we live.” Just then, someone from the outside pushed the door open so fast they didn’t have time to react and Spike was enveloped in sunlight.
“Kinda tickles,” he remarked as everyone stood in awe and watched him not be burned.
“Yay for Spike the sunlight vamp!” Andrew cried. Spike rushed outside and stood in the sun, drowning himself in it. He wanted more; he wanted to rip off all his clothes and let it sink into him. Being where he was and who he was with, he didn’t do that.
“Let’s go to a park or something and figure out what to do,” he suggested, unwilling to leave the sun. They all agreed and soon they were walking the city streets in search of a park.
***
“This is so cool.” Andrew pored over the book. “This has everything we’ve ever done in it. It’s like someone was recording our lives like in The Truman Show.”
“Someone was recording our lives,” Faith told him. “In the not cool, we get to go live in the real world again kinda way.”
“Okay, first off, why am I not burning up?” Spike asked the obvious question. “My heart’s not-wait, it is beating! But I’m still dead and I can still.” His face shifted and his game face came out. “So I’m-what? Why is my heat beating, but I’m still a vampire?”
Willow was theorizing on this,
“I think we retain some of our powers and not others, like I’ve noticed my magical power level is at way less than normal. I feel kinda naked without it. At least I still have some of it or we couldn’t get out of here.”
“Faith, what have you lost?” Andrew inquired. “You still wicked strong?” She reached out her hand and lifted him off the ground, “That’s a yes,” he squeaked.
“But,” Spike said and threw a lightening fast punch at Faith’s head. He pulled it, but he would’ve slammed into her otherwise. She stammered in disbelief.
“I, I wouldn’t have caught that. My reflexes, my senses, they’re gone.”
“Well, the upside of me is that I haven’t lost anything!” Andrew cheered up at the thought.
“Too bad you didn’t lose your power of being annoying as hell,” Faith muttered. He stuck his tongue out at her and moved out of the way before she could reach him.
“I’m faster than you!” he rejoiced. Then he went back to reading his book. It was taking a long time for Willow to finish analyzing their auras in preparation for the spell to get them home, so Faith and Spike had nothing to do but fend off the people who kept coming up to them for autographs.
“Maybe the park wasn’t such a good idea after all,” Spike groaned as the tenth girl asked him for a kiss. “These bloody women won’t leave me alone!”
“Sucks to be you,” Faith told him grinning. It was cute watching him defend himself like a lost puppy dog. Maybe James-whoever could’ve handled it, but not Spike.
“I know who we all are!” Andrew crowed. He had flipped to the actor’s section of the book and found who they were supposed to be in this place Ethan had sent them.
“I’m Tom Lenk,” he said proudly. Spike snorted. “It’s a great name. Ooh, I’ve been on the show before. I played a vampire that was one of Harmony’s minions!” Spike laughed even harder.
“You played as one of Harm’s minions! Bloody hell. So you’ve been a vampire then?”
“I guess,” Andrew replied. “Ooh, here’s you Spike. Your name is James Marsters. You got kicked out of acting school. And you have an album out.”
“Who me?”
“Yup, called Civilized Man.”
“Bloody stupid title,” Spike grumbled.
“Faith, your name is Eliza Dushku. And your tattoo is fake.”
“Is not! I went through a lot to get this thing,” she cried.
“Willow, your name is Alyson Hannigan. You weren’t even the one originally selected to play Willow and you’re married to Alexis Denisov.”
“Who?” Willow was confused. “I’m all straight? That’s a pretty girly name though.”
“Alexis Denisov, who currently plays as Wesley Wyndham-Price on the show Angel.” All heads spun around on that one.
“No way! I married the Marlboro Man?”
“Ha, ha.” Spike couldn’t stop laughing. “Poor Fred,” he chuckled.
“Didn’t know Wes had it in him,” Faith agreed, “Seducing the poor little Willow
away from her beloved Kennedy.”
“That’s probably not how it happened,” Andrew told them, but he thought it was pretty funny too. “Anyway, here’s everybody else. Xander’s name is Nick Brendon, but he goes by Nicky. Giles is Anthony Stewart Head, but we all call him Tony, Anya is Emma Caulfield, Buffy is Sarah Michelle Gellar who is married to Freddy Prince Junior.”
“Junior?” Spike scoffed.
“Dawn is Michelle Trachtenberg, Angel is David Boreanaz and Joss, that guy, he’s
the creator of the show. He’s like majorly important.”
“Didn’t seem that impressive to me,” Faith commented.
“Well, he is. He created Buffy, then Angel and then some show called Firefly. Anyway, let’s steer clear of him.”
“Agreed,” said Faith. “Any guy who’s supposed to have made us up, gives me the heeby jeebies.”
“Red, you done yet?”
“Yes,” Willow sighed and broke off her concentration. “Okay, good news is we can break the spell. Bad news is we have to convince someone who lives in this reality to help.”
“Who?” Andrew asked.
“Anybody, just so long as they belong here. Does anybody think anybody would believe us?”
“First thing,” Spike said. “I know it’s everybody’s first instinct to rush to Buffy, but we’re not pulling Sarah or whatever her name is, into this.”
“I understand,” Willow said. “Not Xander or Giles either please. Maybe Dawn.”
“No,” Spike said. “Here the Nibblet is just a kid, probably all high and mighty with the fame. We need an adult.”
“How about Anya?” Andrew suggested.
“Yeah, she’ll do, she seemed to have a level head. Won’t be all screaming with
terror at the likes of us and our bloody crazy stories,” Spike agreed. So did Faith.
“Hell, I think we’re crazy. She’ll freak, but I think not as bad as some of the others. We could tell this Joss guy, I suppose, but he’d probably want us to stay and live out our lives on the screen so he won’t lose his show and the ability to manipulate our lives.”
“Then tonight at the thing, whatever it is, we’re supposed to be at,” Willow told them. “We have to get Anya’s-Emma’s help; it might take awhile. It would if it were me.”
“Oh well,” Spike said. “We gotta try. The real Buffy is counting on us.”
“Aly?” came a soft voice behind them. Spike groaned expecting more fans. But instead Wesley was coming to them across the park.
“Aly honey, I was worried about you. You were supposed to be home an hour ago.” It was really weird listening to him because he spoke without the British accent. They all looked at Willow expectantly.
“Ah, hi,” she said nervously. “We were just talking about acting stuff, cause we’re actors and we need to…act together to be better actors.”
“It’s obviously working,” he chuckled. “That was perfect Willow babble to my ears.”
“Ha, ha,” she laughed, looking at the others to help her. “Thanks.”
“I think we’d better get home now, because we still have to prepare for the gala dinner tonight.”
“Gala dinner?” Andrew asked, searching through his book as if that would tell them anything about it. Alexis looked at him, confused.
“Of course. The big charity auction that Buffy/Angel is holding tonight. The one we’re all going to.”
“Oh, that one.” Andrew faked a laugh. “Silly me, all the fame going to my head.”
“Sweetie,” Willow interrupted hesitantly. “We’re playing a game. Um, pretending that we don’t know who we are. Can you tell us where we all live?” Alexis looked at her
strangely.
“Yes, of course. Work too hard again? You won’t have another episode? Last time you forgot who you were, thought you were someone else.” Willow smiled nervously at him.
“Nope,” she said. “All fine and sane here. Just a lot of heat and stuff. We just wanted to see if you could do it, you know, show us where everybody lives.” Alexis raised his eyebrow at her lame excuse and made a mental note to pursue it later. He reached out and she took his proffered hand, looking at Spike in panic. He just laughed at her. She stuck her tongue out at him and they all followed Alexis to his car.
***
That night they were clumsy. They tried their best to act natural and friendly with these people, but it was hard and they all made mistakes. The hardest thing was to not call everybody by the names they knew them as. Willow wanted so badly to hug Xander, but she didn’t know if Nick would find that appropriate or not. Spike just glowered as he saw Sarah talking with not only her husband, but David Boreanaz aka Angel as well. Even with their periodic moments of spazzing, Faith and Andrew still had a blast, especially Andrew with his book.
One of Faith’s was a photo op with the Mayor, or rather Harry Groening. She had wanted nothing more than to hug him, and all she could do was stare for a moment or two. Andrew’s was when he saw Warren and Jonathan and someone asked for the Trio’s picture. Standing in between the person he’d killed and the person who he thought had told him to do it, was wig-worthy. Poor Adam Busch and Danny Strong didn’t know what was up with him that night. Andrew kept stifling the impulse to touch them to make sure they were real.
All four of the displaced team struggled to keep their emotions to themselves as they talked with people they didn’t know wearing the faces of their friends, lovers and family. They stuck as close to Emma Caulfield as possible, in order to find a way to explain their situation and ask for her help. She didn’t seem to mind, chatting with them over this and that and as a result witnessed more of their goof ups than anybody else.
When they arrived they found that they could mingle around the various displays for auction before dinner would be served. Almost immediately Willow nearly had a heart attack. Spike frowned as she swooned in Alexis’ arms.
“Red, what is it?” She pointed wordlessly across the room and they followed her finger to see two people who they never expected to see talking together. Tara and Oz. Willow’s eyes filled with tears.
“It’s not them,” Spike whispered into her ear while a worried Alexis went to get
her some punch. “It’s Amber something and Seth…?”
“Green,” Andrew supplied via his trusty book.
“I know,” Willow said, gaining strength. “Please, I don’t want to talk to them. Please, I can’t handle seeing her and having it not be her, not able to talk to or touch-“ Willow broke off for a moment. “And her with him and not having seen him and it’s just like my dream with the cheese-man and the no flossing.”
“Darling, are you all right?” Alexis was back with the punch. Willow sipped it eagerly.
“Yup, just a little woozy. Too much…something.”
“Aly, you okay?” Emma appeared at their side. “Alexis said you weren’t feeling well.”
“Red just got a little tired,” Spike said.
“Red?” Emma looked at him, amused. “You really are getting into this whole method-acting thing, aren’t you?”
“Uh, yeah,” Faith broke in. “Don’t mind him; just a little dazed. The four of us made a trip to the park today. Bad idea. Too many Buffy-lovers.”
“Did you have to say that?” Spike barked out, not liking the terms Buffy and lovers put together unless it had something to do with him.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” A dark-haired, smiling man walked over to them. His voice sounded very familiar, but none of them could place it. “What’d I do?” he asked, grinning when they didn’t say anything. Andrew was feverously scanning his book looking for a picture.
“Andy,” Alexis said. “Glad you could make it. Last I heard you were doing a show instead.”
“Decided to join James here and our other master musicians for their show later.”
"It’s Lorne!” Andrew hissed in Spike’s ear. But he was too busy digesting Andy’s last words.
“Singing? There’s singing- by me? I don’t do singing.”
“The modesty act is good, James,” Emma said, watching Spike with interest. “Tone it down a little if you want to be believable.”
“It better be believable,” Spike groaned. “Cause I really mean it.” She looked at him strangely.
“I believe you do.”
“Listen, Alexis, you and I have got to go over to the Angel table for some photo ops,” Andy said. “You can get back here to your ravishing wife later.”
“Of course,” Alexis agreed. He turned to Willow, “I’ll be back later, have a good time.” Then he kissed her quickly and left. Willow turned as red as her hair, trying to deal with a world where Wesley kissed her and Tara was alive talking to Oz.
“Listen, Emma,” Faith said. “Now that it’s just us, we need to talk to you.”
“All right, what is it? You four have been totally weird all day. And I’ve never seen the four of you so attached to each other.”
“We’re not ourselves right now. I know you noticed that, but you might not believe why we’re not ourselves. Do you think we could get together with you privately and maybe demonstrate how not ourselves we are?” Faith asked her. Emma nodded, curious, though she entertained the notion that this was an elaborate prank.
“James!” came a female voice coming toward them. They all turned to see Drusilla coming up to them. Willow and Andrew recoiled and Emma gave them a dissecting sort of look. Drusilla gave Spike a small hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I hope Patricia would be okay with that,” she told him grinning. “You guys are adorable together. It has been ages since I’ve seen you. Where have you been?” Spike turned around to Andrew, muttering under his breath,
“Who’s Patricia? There’s a Patricia now? Who’s this being Dru?” Andrew turned to consult his book, Emma watched with interest as Spike turned back to the woman.
“I’ve been…traveling a lot,” he offered. She smiled at him.
“I’ll believe it, but still on top with the accent. I don’t know how you do it. I’m always glad to come back, but the accent is the killer for me.”
Andrew poked Spike in the ribs and Spike leaned in for a surreptitious conference.
“Her name is Juliet Landau. Patricia is your girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” he asked, stunned. “Why do I have a girlfriend?”
“Well, honestly, Blondie, you ain’t that ugly,” Faith told him.
“Ix-nay on the ondie-blay,” Andrew admonished. They quieted instantly before
turning back to Juliet and Emma.
“So,” Spike asked them, going for nonchalant and failing miserably. “What are you doing? I mean lately, with acting and stuff.”
Juliet started to tell them all about her latest project and how thrilled she was
to be doing it and also to be coming back to both Buffy and Angel this year. They were interrupted by Andy again who came to snag Spike to do their show. He seriously had to be dragged backstage where he met with Andy, Tony, and several other people such as Adam Busch and Christian Kane who had played Lindsey on Angel, Spike remembered from Andrew’s earlier lecturing.
“This is set up like karaoke,” Andy told the others. “So people are going to be telling us what they want us to sing and there’ll be a machine and everything, so don’t worry if it’s been awhile since you sang a particular song.” Spike started to panic. He really started to panic and Tony and Christian had to literally haul him back to his seat when he tried to make a run for it.
The musical had been torture for him. Not because he was a bad singer, far from it, but because when he sang he had no control over what was happening to him. Spike had no wish to repeat that now, but before he could stop it, he was onstage with the others and listening to the crowds cheer, which loosened him up a little. Tony went up first and the immediate request was for Standing the song he’d done in the musical, which Andrew had loved reading about in his little book to Faith, who hadn’t been there.
Spike listened to him as he sang and suddenly he understood a lot better why Giles had left that year. He didn’t think it was right, but he could forgive him his part of abandoning them. Tony sang a couple of other songs and then it was Andy’s turn. He sang It’s Not That Easy Being Green and Lady Marmalade, apparently two songs he’d done on Angel. Spike thought the first one was a little obvious, but hey. Adam went next and sang a couple of songs that Spike hadn’t heard of. Then Christian sang a song called LA Song that he’d done on the Angel show and some others. All too soon, it was Spike’s turn.
The first song asked for was Rest in Peace, his song from the musical. Spike panicked. That song, he didn’t remember it and he didn’t want to. But he went on realizing it probably wouldn’t go over too well if he starting swearing at the crowd. The words showed on the screen and he started to sing, surprised at how easily it came back to him, despite some minor goof ups at the beginning. The song affected him as he thought about how far he and Buffy had come from then and how far they could go and real tears showed in his eyes as he finished the song. Cheers erupted and he looked over the vast crowd of people wondering how totally nerdy they would have to be to watch the neuroses of the Scoobies for eight years and then add Angel on top of it.
They asked him for another song, Behind Blue Eyes by the Who. Spike readily acquiesced, thinking of when the song had first come out and made Dru decide to turn the entire band so she could have them forever. Luckily he’d been able to talk her out of that one. The words came easily and he enjoyed singing it, imagining that no one was there. But the audience all roared when he finished and then they all had to sing a group song. The crowd opted for silly and before he knew it, Spike found himself singing the Oompa Loompa song from Willie Wonka and groaning inwardly knowing how Faith and Andrew would torture him later about it.
Their grins as he made his way back to them confirmed his fears, but thankfully, the show was the last part of the evening before dinner. They made their way into the dining area where Spike found himself seated between David and Tony and across the table from Emma.
“James,” David greeted him. “It’s been awhile. We’re all looking forward to your guest appearances on the show this year, though. Nice that the networks finally agreed to cooperate.” Spike looked at him strangely. This stranger was wearing Angel’s face and it was weird to have Angel talk like that to him. Angel never looked forward to seeing him.
“Well, I…like acting so I’m glad too,” he replied awkwardly. He could feel the lameness of the remark and flinched. But David just smiled and toasted him.
“We all like your acting, too.”
“Yes,” said Emma. “It is rather intriguing.” She eyed Spike speculatively and
noted his rather terrified and confused expression. And with that, the night was over. Spike met up with his three dimension-traveling companions on the way out. Willow was acting nervous.
“What is up with you?” Faith finally asked her. “Would you chill?”
“You’d be a little edgy yourself if you had to go home with Wesley, the man you married!” Willow whispered harshly.
“Come on,” Faith assured her. “Ole Wes would never force ya. Just act tired.”
“I am tired,” Willow said. “It’s going to take all my energy tomorrow to break Ethan’s spell.”
“So when are we gonna talk to her?” Andrew asked, gesturing to Emma coming toward them.
“Early tomorrow, before set call or whatever the bloody hell it is,” Spike said, still disgruntled from his performance earlier.
“Emma,” Andrew asked her as she joined them. “Could we talk to you tomorrow before we work? It’s a matter of diabolical importance to the universe.”
“Is it?” she asked. “Well then, of course. Meet you outside the lot tomorrow then.” She waved her hand at them. “Goodnight, you wacky kids.” Alexis came up then and claimed Willow who walked away with him as edgy as a polecat.
The other three went to their respective homes that each could not believe belonged to them, then couldn’t handle it and decided to all stay the night at Spike’s place and prepare themselves for the morrow by reading their scripts.
***
Spike was sleeping in his bed when a jolt shot through him that reminded him of the chip, but it wasn’t just in his head, it was through his whole body. Dimly through the pain coursing through him, he could hear screams. That would be Andrew.
Cursing, Spike sat up and tried to walk; he couldn’t. It was a helpless feeling, but he could only lie there and groan through the agony pounding into him.
Five minutes passed, though it seemed an hour, and the pain receded, leaving him weak and drained.
"That’s it," he said to himself. "No more pain. No more torture, draining spells, chips or anything else. Sod it all." But Spike knew, even through the pain that he would keep looking for Buffy until either he found her, or he was dust. At the moment though, he had to go see how Andrew was.
Spike stumbled along in the direction of the room he thought he remembered stashing Andrew in. He met Faith outside the door in the same condition as he was.
“What the hell was that?” she gasped out.
“No clue, luv.” He too had difficulty talking. “But let’s get the boy before we start investigating.” She nodded and they entered Andrew’s room to find him lying on the floor, shuddering.
“Andy, you gonna make it?” Faith asked.
“What is it? Why does it hurt?” he moaned, half conscious.
“We don’t know,” Spike answered him. “But we gotta find out and get to the witch. If she hasn’t been hit too, which I strongly suspect she has, she could probably help.” Just at that moment, the telephone rang. They all jumped.
“Ah, hello?” Spike picked it up, hesitantly. He wouldn’t have answered, but if was Willow he couldn’t afford not to.
“James!” Alexis’ voice shouted in his sensitive ear. “Get to the hospital.”
“What’s up, mate? Is Will-Alyson okay?”
“No, she’s not okay!” The man sounded desperate. “She’s had an attack of some
kind and she keeps calling for you. I think she’s delusional. She keeps saying, ‘Get Spike!’ I can’t make any sense out of it. Just come to St. Mary’s please. We’re in the ambulance now.”
“I’ll be right there,” Spike assured him. “Let’s go,” he said to the others.
“You think she was hit worse than us?” Faith asked him.
“Probably,” Spike answered. “You and I got our super stuff so we made off better than Andrew. This is magic so it makes sense the one with the magic would get it the worst.”
“This is magic?” Andrew asked, his eyes wide. “It hurts.”
“That it does,” Spike said. “Let’s just get to the hospital and make sure Red’s
all right.”
***
The hospital doors flung open as Spike swept through in his duster, which he’d neglected to take back to the wardrobe person when they’d left the day before. Faith and Andrew strode along behind him. They made a determined picture.
“Where is she?” Spike demanded of the desk nurse who looked up, frightened.
“Where’s who?” she asked nervously.
“Will-Am-An-Aly-“ Spike cut off, sputtering. “Who?” He turned to Andrew.
“Alyson Hannigan,” Andrew said. “She was just brought in and she asked for us.”
“Are you family?” she asked, her duties returning to her.
“Might as well be,” Spike muttered. “Look, we have to see her. Her husband
called us.”
“I’m sorry, but you need to be family. Let me just call up to her husband.”
“Look, you daft bint,” Spike began when an intern approached, his eyes agape.
“Betty, you idiot. That’s James Marsters. And Alyson Hannigan, his co-worker was
just brought in. Yeah, let them through.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Marsters,” Betty began, her face flushing as she recognized them,
pushing the button to let them through, while planning how to tell her friends that James Marsters had called her a ‘daft bint.’ “We just have to be extra careful around here.”
Spike was through the doors before she had finished speaking and Faith and Andrew followed along. They met a pacing Alexis in the hallway outside her room.
“Thank God you’ve come!” He hurried over to them. “She’s stable now, but the
doctors have no clue what happened and she keeps asking for you. Oh hello, Eliza, Tom. Thank you for coming too. Maybe she did mention you two in her ramblings come to think of
it. Not that any of it made-“
“Can we see her now?” Spike interrupted him.
“Of course, I’m sorry. Please, see if you can make some sense out of her.” Alexis ushered them through to Willow’s room. She lay in the bed, pale and flushed;
probably that was how they looked too. She smiled weakly at them as they stood by her bed with Alexis hovering on the outside.
“You came.” She sounded awful.
“Of course we bloody well came,” Spike told her. “What made you think we
wouldn’t?”
“I thought you’d have gone back,” she murmured.
“And how were we supposed to do that without you?” Faith asked her.
“They could’ve won. You guys couldn’t tell. They could’ve made you go back.”
“She keeps talking like that,” Alexis told them. “What does it mean?”
“I don’t understand it all myself there,” Spike told him. “But don’t you worry. The doctors will make her right as rain.”
“And we probably won’t be working tomorrow,” Andrew sounded disappointed. “Not with her down and all.”
“I imagine you’ll just shoot around her,” Alexis assured them.
“Oh.” Spike and Faith were definitely disappointed. Willow closed her eyes and
fell asleep. They trooped back into the hallway. Andrew fainted again.
“He couldn’t take it either,” Faith commented. “Poor guy.”
“He’s not strong like us,” Spike reminded her. “I’m surprised we’re not down
there with him.” Alexis rushed off to get a doctor, fearing that his wife and the other cast members had somehow been poisoned the night before at the benefit. The doctors came and strapped Andrew to a gurney to examine him while Alexis returned to Willow.
Spike and Faith waited outside the room while the doctors made their diagnosis. One of them came outside and spoke to them.
“Are you family?” she asked.
“Close friends,” Spike answered.
“Are there any family members here?” she persisted.
“No, it’s just us, lady,” Faith told her.
“Well, he’s in stable condition. His readings are the same as Miss Hannigan’s,
though less dramatic. We’ll need to keep him for awhile for observation.”
“Sure thing,” Spike told her. “Can we see him? Is he awake?”
“Of course, go on in,” she told them. They went into the room and found Andrew
looking well. But they could tell he was in pain and they honestly didn’t know how he’d managed to pull himself together to even make it to the hospital. Conveniently the hospital had placed him in the same room with Willow, so they were able to keep watch on both of them.
***
Later that night Alexis was summoned away by the doctors and he went with them, asking,
“You’ll watch over her?”
“Of course,” Spike assured him.
“I’m calling Joss,” he said. “So I’ll talk to him about Tom and see what he wants
to do today.”
“Thanks,” Faith said. As soon as he had left, Willow’s eyes popped open and she said,
“Thank goodness, I can wake up now.”
“You were faking?” Faith asked in disbelief. “You looked wiped, Will.”
“Oh, make no bones about it,” Willow assured her. “Wiped is me. But I wanted to
keep us all together here for as long as possible. And as much as I love hubby dearest there, he doesn’t need to hear this.”
“Hear what?” Andrew had woken up.
“What caused the big ouch,” Willow answered him.
“Then you know what did this?” Spike asked her.
“I have a theory,” she smiled brightly. “Is a theory good?”
“It’s a start.”
“Well, when Ethan decided to make us his dimension play toys, he sent us into this
alternate world. Normally that’s easy. Just point, click and you’re there. But if he’d done that, then there’d be pairs of us walking around. Not that that wouldn’t have been good Chaos-y fun, but he wanted more. So he shoved us into our alternate doppel’s bodies. Now they’re like inside while we’re in control of their body.”
“Sorta like how Angelus is always cooped up inside Angel,” Faith said.
“Basically. Though they belong in the same body, we don’t. My theory is that they’re trying to make us leave.”
“By killing us?” Andrew asked, incredulously.
“Well maybe. I don’t think they even know what they’re doing,” Willow thought. “But their anger and desperation is sorta manifesting into big pain and hurt for us. It’ll happen again, but this time, it literally could kill us by say, driving us from their bodies and we die without our own or it could send us back to our own. I don’t know.
Either way, the strain isn’t good for our-their bodies.”
“How’d you mean, Red?” Spike asked.
“Well, we’re feeling the pain cause we’re in control, but the bodies are theirs so when we’re gone, they’ll have to deal with the effects of their own emotions.”
“Bloody hell,” Spike swore. “It’s never simple is it? Basically, we gotta get gone
before these buggers oust us from their bodies and kill themselves.”
“Maybe yes,” Willow said. “Everybody having fun yet?” Alexis came back into the room.
“Honey, you’re awake.” He crossed to Willow and took her hand. “The doctors say you’re going to be just fine, though they couldn’t find a cause. It was as if your body suddenly and violently decided it didn’t like you. If it were to happen again there could be some long-term damage, but they’re confident you’ll be fine. So, are you fine?” he asked, caressing her fingers.
“Sure,” Willow said pulling her hand away. “Just sleepy is all. I need rest. Lots of it.”
“Of course,” he agreed, smoothing her hair back and kissing her forehead. With a pang, she remembered Oz doing that when she’d been in the hospital during the Angelus phase. She felt bad for this man who thought she was his wife.
“Thank you, sweetie,” she told him. “I’ll see you later.”
“Joss said to tell you both that he’s seriously planning on killing you off, but to get well and that shooting would resume tomorrow morning if your doctors said you were up for it.”
“Good.” Spike and Faith breathed a sigh of relief. Andrew still looked disappointed. He had wanted to try his hand at acting.
“I have to get ready to go to the set now,” Alexis told Willow. “But as soon as we’re done, I’ll be right back here with you. You’ll be okay without me?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I’m of the good. So go.”
“We’ll be here,” Spike told him. Alexis looked relieved.
“Thank you. This is above and beyond the call of friendship.”
“Well, your girl here is important to us,” Faith said awkwardly. Willow’s eyes flashed at
that.
“Thank you,” Alexis said again and he left. They talked again after he left, but decided they really couldn’t do anything until it was morning and they could talk to Emma and get her to come to the hospital, so they all settled in for some much needed sleep, Spike and Faith grumbling about the uncomfortable-ness of hospital chairs.
***
When she heard what had happened, Emma came by to see how they were doing. They sat her down firmly and proceeded to give her the talk.
“Listen, Emma luv,” Spike began. “Like we said earlier, we aren’t ourselves and the reason is we are the characters we’re supposed to be playing. Where we come from, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, all of it, is real. I really am Spike, that’s Faith, Willow and Andrew. We got sent into your dimension by Ethan Rayne who maybe you’ve heard of and stuck inside your actor’s bodies.”
“You know, I almost believe you,” she said, before starting to laugh at what she knew had to be a prank.
“It’s hard to understand, we know,” Willow told her. “We all had to face the fact demons were real too. Only in much more life-threatening circumstances, like when Spike’s grandmother jumped one of my best friends and I was trying to seize the moment-“
“Off the point, Will,” Faith broke in.
“Right.” Willow shut up. Emma looked even more amused.
“You guys have acting down to an art. How long have you been working on this? Don’t tell
me the sick spells are part of it?”
“A very nasty part,” Andrew said, putting his hand to his head.
“The point of all of this; is we have to get home to our dimension. In it, Buffy’s missing and we have to find her.” Spike started to press the point.
“Buffy, Miss Perfect, is missing and she needs you four to find her? Oh, this is so funny, guys.”
“We’re telling you the truth.” Spike got very serious. “We’ll prove it to you, but the reason we’re telling you all this, is we need your help to get back. Gotta work some anti-world mojo or something. Will’s got that part.”
“So go ahead and prove it to me,” Emma told them, a twinkle in her eye. “And don’t use the fake stuff from the set; you know I’ve seen it all.”
“Betcha you’ve only see this on television,” Spike said and morphed right in front of her. Emma’s eyes went wide, but she kept silent. Faith stood up and lifted up Andrew’s bed with him on it. Emma shrank further back into her chair. Willow pointed her fingers to the chair next to Emma and it levitated off the ground.
“What are you people?” Emma asked faintly, rather proud of herself for not fainting.
“We’re a Master vampire, a Vampire Slayer, a way-powerful witch and a nerd,” Faith told her. Andrew started to protest, but she interrupted him. “Let us handle this one, Andy; you’re fragile and weak right now.”
“Am not!” Andrew grumbled, settling back into his bed.
“Andy’s also a bad-ass demon summoner,” Faith modified. “Satisfied?”
“Much better,” he assured her.
“Now that his ego’s intact.” Faith rolled her eyes. “We don’t want to be here in the
bodies of your friends, Emma. Help us go home.”
“What did you do to them?” Emma asked, still deadly quiet.
“Didn’t do nothing,” Spike told her.
“This really bad Chaos-man who’s been on the show before, Ethan Rayne, jerked our essences
from our bodies and shoved them into your friends. Now they’re trying to get out, by hurting us, but they’re hurting their own bodies, not ours, and it would be really good to go home now!” Willow explained. Emma shook her head, confused.
“Robin did this?”
“Not Robby-boy himself the actor, but his actual character from our world,” Spike said.
“Hate to put on the pressure, pet, but we gotta get going now. We don’t belong here.”
“What do I have to do?” Emma asked, steadiness now in her voice. She wanted them gone so
she could pretend this had never happened.
“We kinda need you to be the person who says in a deep scary voice, ‘we don’t want you here, go home!’ ” Willow told her. “Only you don’t have to do the scary voice. But it could be fun for you, being an actor and all.”
“I’ll save the acting for the screen,” Emma decided. “So, when do we do this?”
“As soon as-“ Willow began, but she interrupted herself by screaming as she convulsed. Spike and Faith dropped to the floor, shaking, as Andrew began to shout gibberish. To Emma’s untrained ear, it sounded like Klingon. But he, too, was obviously in pain and she
ran for the doctor.
***
When Spike came to, he was on a gurney being wheeled toward the morgue. He jumped off it amid shouts of disbelief from the orderlies manning his gurney.
“You were dead! You didn’t have a pulse,” they shouted.
“I know! Been dead for awhile now, though the heartbeat’s a bit new!” Spike shouted at them, “Where are the others?”
“Intensive care,” one of them said in shock. Spike took off running down the hall. When he arrived, he found Faith and Andrew in stable condition, but Willow was still busily being worked on. He practically fainted against the table, still overcome by this pain episode.
“Boss, you all right?” Faith’s weak voice reached through the pain drumming in his head.
“Bloody perfect,” he stammered out. “Red’s gonna be all right, isn’t she?”
“Sure, they got her stable now. But we gotta jet fast or she’s gonna be a goner. This magic stuff is draining her.”
Emma sat in a chair outside, watching them with a pale face. When she saw Spike, she rose and walked over to where he stood by Faith’s bed. Andrew was still unconscious.
“You were dead,” she told Spike shivering.
“I’ve always been dead, luv,” he told her.
“But you were alive, Blondie,” Faith said. “Then you died and now you’re alive
again.”
“Still a mite curious about that myself,” he answered. “We’ll have to wait for
Will to reveal all.”
“Revealing, okay,” Willow’s barely audible voice echoed in Spike’s ears.
“She’s stable,” the doctor sighed in relief. “We’ll keep her here for now, but she should be okay if this doesn’t happen again. Get her husband here.”
The doctors all left, leaving Emma alone with the four patients. Spike sat down
thankfully on an empty bed. Emma sat in a chair while Willow struggled to sit up.
“Don’t,” Faith told her. “Keep your strength for getting home.”
“We have to now,” Willow said. “Another hit like that and I’m a goner.”
“So Emma here is ready, we’re all set, let’s go,” Spike said.
“We have to let me get my strength back first and Andrew has to be awake,” Willow
told him.
“Fine, in the meantime, tell me why I’m not dead?” Spike asked. “We’re all very
curious to know.”
“Don’t know exactly.” Willow thought for a moment. “Well, like I said, our
insides, who we are, were placed inside a foreign body. The parts of ourselves that were
our body aren’t here, cause we have a new one. So that’s why Faith’s reflexes are gone,
they were connected to her body. Her strength comes from her soul.” Faith smiled a
little, but didn’t say anything. Willow continued, “Me, the magic that is gone, is the
magic I drew from my body that had accumulated there over the years. Andrew’s body and
Tom’s body are the same exactly, so he didn’t lose anything. Except for maybe some things
like doing the splits or something.”
“I can’t do the splits anyway,” Andrew’s voice, thick and raspy, entered the
conversation. “Tucker always could, but not me. Must have been different evil genes.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, Andy,” Faith told him.
“Spike’s the most complicated, as usual,” Willow said. Spike made a face at her.
“He’s a vampire, but this body hasn’t done the whole blood-sucking thing with his demon,
so it’s more like possession than a hybrid. That’s why the body’s still alive and he can
be In Sunshine Man.”
“If James’ body was alive, how come it died?” Emma asked quietly.
“That’s kinda my blank spot,” Willow admitted. “But my guess is that because no
one was driving, meaning Spike was unconscious and James was repressed under Spike, the
body died without anyone in control of it. Spike still has his strength and supernatural
stuff because his demon brings that to him and the demon’s in this body. And that’s all
for Inter-Dimensional Traveling School today.”
“You gonna be okay, right, Red? Not backing out on us?” Spike asked her, worried
at her condition.
“Be fine and dandy as soon as I got my body. Just need a few things.”
“Like what? We should do this before your husband gets here and finds you like
that,” Andrew pointed out. Willow closed her eyes a minute and when she opened them
again, they were clearer and more defined.
“Anything to make a circle around us and our hair.”
“Our what?” Spike squawked, putting a protective hand on his head. As much as he
didn’t want to admit it, he liked his hair. A lot. It didn’t stupidly stick straight up
or require more hair gel than an entire boy band, unlike others he could mention, and he
liked it that way.
“We need something of ourselves for Emma to ban, so it’s either your hair or any
fingers you want to donate,” Willow’s voice rasped and Spike instantly obeyed, plucking a
few strands of hair from his head and throwing them at Faith, who stuck her tongue at him
and let the hair fall to the ground.
Emma returned with some baby powder that she sprinkled in a circle around the four
of them; Spike holding Willow, Faith supporting Andrew. Then she made another circle
around herself, and her previous circle under Willow’s direction. Faith had cut off locks
off all their hair and handed them to Emma, who held them in her hands along with a
lighter procured from her purse. Willow began to chant some unintelligible words and then
spoke clearly, a dim glow emanating from her.
“Gatekeeper, we implore thee. Open the doors for us and send us to our place of
belonging. Banish us from these forms and prepare our own to receive us.”
A light began to shine along the edges of each circle. Willow nodded to Emma, who
was starting to look seriously freaked out.
“Now.”
Emma placed all the hair inside a hospital bed pan and lit it on fire and spoke
the words Willow had told her.
“Gatekeeper, I implore thee. Send these back to where they belong. Burn their
essences from the bodies wrongfully occupied. Ban them and release the spirits captive
within.” Emma shook and Willow continued to chant. The lights flared all at once and the
First Slayer Rescue Brigade, along with their honorary member, disappeared as the bodies
they’d been in collapsed. As they whirled out of time and thought, they could hear Emma’s
voice echoing in their ears,
“Goodbye. I hope you find her.” Then there was nothing.
***
Emma rushed over to her friends and helped them sit up as they came to.
“Emma, what happened to us?” Alyson sat up and rubbed her head. “Did something
happen on set?”
“No, you fainted, sweetie,” Emma told her. “You’re in the hospital, but you’re
gonna be fine. Alex is on his way.”
“That was majorly weird.” James sat up and cracked his neck. “Emma, what
happened? Why am I in a hospital? With all of you?”
“You fainted; you’ll be fine. I’ll let Patricia know you’re okay.” Emma wondered
how many times she was going to have to repeat herself. “Tom, Eliza? You’re okay, you’re
in the hospital. Let’s get you back into bed.” Emma helped them all to settle into their
beds and went to get the doctors and perform the necessary phone calls.
Alexis rushed into the room and grabbed Alyson’s hand.
“Sweetie, are you all right?” he asked anxiously.
“I think so,” she looked around. “I had the strangest dream.”
Over the next few days, the fan base of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was relieved to hear that
the four members of the cast who had taken seriously ill were going to be just fine. It
was surmised that someone had sabotaged them at the benefit and charity dinner they had
all attended the night before their attacks, though no one was ever charged for the crime.
In the meantime, shooting got back underway and everyone eagerly awaited the next
season of the show they’d all come to love and cherish. And if Emma remembered her time
with a real Vampire, Slayer, Witch and Demon-summoner, she never told anyone.
***
Buffy opened her eyes to make sure her annoyingly smarmy captor wasn’t at his desk doing his writing thing, whatever that was supposed to be. He wasn’t. She quickly broke the chains on her wrists and stretched them for the first time in what seemed like years. Getting to her feet, she stretched every part of herself to make her body limber for the fight ahead and then explored the room.
There was only one entrance or exit and it was locked, though nothing she couldn’t break if needed. The only bit of furniture was the writing desk and the chair that belonged to it. Opening the drawer, and breaking off a piece of the back of it, she held a make shift stake. Turning around, Buffy prepared herself for battle.
Having notified Giles of their next destination, they weren’t surprised to see Willow waiting for them at the airport.
“Hey, guys! I’m happy to see you, well not happy you’re here for the reason you are, cause Buffy being gone is bad, but happy to see you all alive, like Spike, who we all thought burned up.”
“Red, see you haven’t lost the rambling touch,” Spike told her dryly. She smiled a little.
“Sorry. It’s just something happening to Buffy gives me the wiggins and I start to do that thing that I do when I get the wiggins and...”
“Ramble away, Will, just answer us one question,” Faith interrupted. “Where’s Kennedy?” Willow turned bright red and stammered, looking at the floor.
“I-I don’t know?”
“You asking us or telling us, Will?” Spike forced her head up gently.
“Telling,” she mumbled, returning her head to looking at the floor. “We aren’t together. Just not- Kennedy just isn’t down with my Willow-vibe magic-ness and I couldn’t handle…differences she had.”
“Thank God!” Faith released her breath. Andrew did a little jig on the sidewalk. Spike starting walking a bit more jauntily.
“Okay, that’s cleared up then. Now, Buffy.”
“I tried the locator spell, but no luck with the finding of her actual body. I did get this weird spirit sense of her though, like she was hovering nearby, or part of
her was.”
“Do you know where?” Faith asked.
“I was working on that when you guys got here, so I’ll keep it up when we get back home. Sorry, I only have a little house. Looks like it’ll be the floor for you.”
“We’ve been worse places,” Andrew said, and then recounted their tale for her. Spike and Faith noticed that a lot of things seemed to have changed since then, such as Andrew’s thrall adventure and his now possessing manly pectorals and a large fighting repertoire. Willow listened politely, but clearly her mind was somewhere else.
“So you saw Oz? How-how’s he doing?”
“Great,” Spike told her. “Planted him off with Giles. You should ring him.”
“Really? Do you think so? It’s been such a long time and so much has happened and well, maybe.” Willow concentrated on her driving and when they reached her tiny apartment went directly to work on the locator spell. Faith, Spike and Andrew dropped all their stuff and rested for awhile. The constant traveling was unsettling, even with all the Council’s money to pave the way into nice hotels.
“Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me,” Spike groaned as he sipped some blood Willow had thoughtfully picked up for him.
“Who would you be then?” Andrew asked seriously.
“Anybody’s better than this at the moment,” he replied. “If I wasn’t me, I’d say screw this and go eat a nice, virgin girl about sixteen, then have me a long shag and some kip.”
“Thanks for the visual, Blondie,” Faith joined in. “Wanted that for about the next never.”
“Who would you be, Faith?” Andrew inquired, recovering from the bluntness of Spike’s comment.
“Dunno. Somebody with family, not so much with the jail. But I’ll keep the body, suits me fine.”
“Yes, it does,” he agreed before hastily moving onto himself. “I think I’d like to be an astronaut, maybe a rocket scientist or a guitarist. Anyway, I’d be cooler than cool and have people screaming my name everywhere I go.”
“Like that would ever happen!” Faith scoffed, sitting back and closing her eyes. “Now shut your yap and let me sleep.”
“Not so much with the good.” Willow popped her head in. “Not if you want to get this trail while it’s fresh. Her essence is nearby, but it’ll go kaput real soon, unless we go now.”
“We’re on it.” Faith jumped up and pulled Andrew to his feet, he was having trouble disentangling his feet from the stool rung he was resting them on. Spike stretched and grabbed a battle axe.
“Let’s go. Maybe we’ll get lucky.”
***
Willow led them to a street down town where vendors peddled their wares and artsy cafes crowded the buildings.
“It’s coming from…” Willow pointed. “The playground?” They hurried forward into a small park, where the traditional swings and slide had been set up for the children of the neighborhood to use. None were occupying it now. The only person in sight was a middle-aged, gray-haired man sitting in one of the swings as if he were waiting for them.
“Ethan!” Willow gasped.
“Who’s Ethan?” Andrew asked.
“Magic guy,” Spike answered. “Does Chaos mojo. Guess I’m getting the double
meaning part of the poem now.”
“Did you take Buffy?” Willow demanded, her hair starting to glow as she gathered magical forces around her.
Ethan shifted nervously on his swing, but shook his head and spoke in his smooth, British accent.
“No, but I’m definitely involved in this. I’ll admit it straight out. Nothing
personal, just following my path, but I’m trying something new this time. Open confrontation. I’m quite nervous about it, actually.”
“Oh, you better be.” Faith lifted her knife and caressed it with her other hand. “I hear you’re a fair tell at singing pretty songs. Let’s see what you’d sing for us
now.” He swallowed hard, but remained where he was.
“Always a big fan of music, but not at this moment. Let’s just calm down, shall we? Why don’t you all sit and I’ll tell you some more?” They warily eyed him, but seeing as he was ready to talk, did as he suggested. But as soon as it happened, their legs stuck and nothing they did would budge them. Whatever had touched the ground, stayed there and for most of them, that left them in pretty humorous positions. Willow started to mutter, but Ethan shook his head at her.
“It will take you awhile to break the spell. By then, you’ll already be gone.”
“Where?” Spike growled. He’d had his fill of not being able to move lately.
“Special little place. You’ll love it. You get to be different, not have to deal with the pressures of your life.”
“What if I like the pressures of my life?” Faith ground out.
“Really? Well, that’s a shame. Oh well. You’ll still look the same, but won’t
be able to implement yourselves in quite the same way.” Willow’s chanting grew louder. Ethan started to hurry his words. “Let me see; did I miss anything? Oh, try not to get locked up in a drug rehab for acting crazy and like yourselves. And there might be repercussions if you start slaughtering everyone you see. I’m sure you’ll enjoy the glamour, maybe even want to stay. But maybe you’ll get out, and I’ll try not to be here when you do, but I do have serious staying and gloating problems.”
“You’re gonna have more than that when I get through with you!” Faith told him. Spike just sat there and waited for Willow to break the spell. He knew she could. With that mother of all spells she’d pulled off last year, there was nothing she could not do.
“Too bad old Ripper isn’t here,” mused Ethan. “This would tickle him awfully, but then you’ll be seeing “him” soon. Now actually. Ta ta.” Ethan waved his hand and muttered a few words. Sweat poured down his cheek.
A cloud formed around the four on the ground and they choked and gasped on it, even Spike. It surrounded them; it filled them and crammed into every part of them. Then it disappeared, pulled headlong from their bodies and it took them with it. Four screams split the air as they felt all they were ripped from themselves and sent soaring into the air with the cloud. A cold journey and empty, until they slammed into something and were shoved into it. It felt like going back into themselves, but something was wrong. Utterly wrong. This was them, their bodies. But some things were not there, others were. They weren’t standing outside on a playground in Brazil. They were on the edge of the Sunnydale crater. The sun burned overhead, only it wasn’t the sun, it was huge floodlights. People were everywhere. Spike was kissing Buffy.
The shock of once more being in her arms and feeling her lips was so wonderful that he threw himself into it with enthusiasm. He could feel her pouring into his every sense. Something still wasn’t quite right, but he didn’t want to analyze anything while he was involved in this incredible kiss. Through the fog of his mind, he heard someone yell,
“Cut! That was excellent.” Buffy broke away from him immediately. He almost cried out at the loss, but unwilling to protest for fear of one of her violent reactions remained quiet. Spike looked around him and noticed he was on a set of something made to look like the crater. Cameras and lights and people filled the room. A woman came over and brushed makeup over his face; he started to protest, telling the woman that that phase of his life was over, when he saw Buffy run away from him and jump into the arms of a man standing on the other side of the camera. Pangs tore through him, but he couldn’t stop watching.
“Boss,” he heard from behind him. Spike turned to see Faith, Willow and Andrew standing there. He almost fainted with relief. He wasn’t alone.
“What the bloody hell is going on?” he asked. They stared at him blankly.
“We’re in some sort of set, some sort of alternate world,” Willow theorized.
“That was Buffy, but she doesn’t seem to know you the same way we do. This looks like a television studio and we’re the actors! At least, that’s what side of the camera we’re on.” Andrew pointed to all the equipment.
“It all says Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season Eight. What does that mean?”
“In this world, Buffy’s a show?” Faith questioned. “You got to be kidding. Who’d watch that?”
“How do we get out of here?” Andrew wondered. “They all think we’re actors. Hey, that’s pretty cool.”
“No, it isn’t,” Spike said sadly, watching “Buffy” snog another fellow. “Look at that nancy-boy. Betcha he’s got a girly name.”
“Calm down, boss. That’s not your girl,” Faith assured him.
“Looks the hell like her,” he muttered. Willow started to hyperventilate.
“Look, look! It’s, she’s not dead-it’s Anya!” They all turned and saw her, walking around the other side of the set, chatting with Xander and Dawn and some man in a baseball cap that had Joss on the front.
“This world, she must not have died, but lived to do the…the show,” Willow said.
“James!” the man in the baseball cap cried. “Come here. We need to work on this bit here. You too, Sarah.” Spike and the rest stared as the woman they knew as Buffy disentangled herself from her man and walked over to the group, turning over her shoulder and calling to Spike,
“James, let’s go.” Spike frowned.
“Oh! I’m James here. Who the bloody hell would name someone that?” he grumbled as he walked over. “Figure out how to leave!” he demanded of the rest of the group over his shoulder.
They were discussing positions for the next scene when he got there.
‘Great,’ thought Spike. ‘My entire existence seems to be a bad sci-fi freak show.’ Baseball-cap-man was saying,
“I want you Sarah and James to be here, canoodling and such on the back of the bus. Buffy’s still timid about your relationship, but she’s definitely going for it. Spike is just happy to be alive and with her.” Spike rolled his eyes at this.
“Joss,” Xander asked, “did the script get changed again? I thought both Tony and
I were going to go in, but it looks like it’s just me now.”
“Ah, Tony-the big star-” said the man who must be Joss. “Had to go to a special singing thing today. So it’s just you and we’ll send in Emma after awhile to keep you from getting beat up too much by the two “superheroes.” Everybody laughed except Spike. Apparently this was funny.
“So, James and I do our thing, have our dialogue, then Nicky comes in to berate us, Emma enters wanting her reunion orgasms and then we’ll cut to the hospital?” Sarah asked.
“Exactly. So, get behind there and try not to make Freddy jealous,” Joss said. Once again, everybody but Spike laughed. “James, you doing okay? Don’t need to get a double for you, do I? James?” he added when Spike didn’t respond.
“What? Oh, right. Yeah, sure. All good.”
“What’s with the accent?” Nick asked. “Normally you can’t wait to stop using it.”
“Well, uh, just trying to do well. New form of…method-acting.” Spike hurriedly searched his brain for movie lingo to use.
“You don’t need to brain up,” Emma told him. “Your reviews were really good this morning. And you got nominated and everything.”
“What? Well, good. But I got to go.”
“Right, well, we’ll call you when we’re ready to get started,” Sarah called after him, confused. Spike quickly walked to where his people stood.
“Right, we got to get gone, they’ll know us for phonies sure,” he told them. “It’s not an alternate reality, it’s the Real World: an Alternate Reality!”
“How do you think I feel?” Faith snapped. “Some old bat named Marti came along and told me I gotta go play nursemaid to Wood when you’re done smooching your beloved Buffy.”
“It isn’t her!” Spike growled. “She wants Prince Charming over there.” He pointed to the man she’d been kissing earlier.
“Well, Kennedy’s dead here and I have to mourn her,” Willow said. “But listen, we might have a chance to get out of here. I can read the signature patterns on each of us left over from Ethan’s spell. If I can get us all alone and work on it, we could probably break it.”
“You sure, Red?” Spike asked her impatiently.
“Well not one-hundred-percent-I-know-we’re-all-fine-sure. But hopefully no one will end up with cat’s ears by the time I’m done.”
“I hope not.” Andrew shivered. “That would be horrible.”
“Right people! Let’s get moving.” Spike and Sarah moved onto the corner of the set where the school bus was located. Spike felt completely awkward, like it was their first date. He was supposed to be kissing and wooing this woman who he didn’t even know, while she was wearing Buffy’s body and facial expressions like a costume, and now they wanted him to take his shirt off. Normally he’d be only too happy to go shirtless in front of Buffy, but this wasn’t Buffy.
They settled down; she was wiping off nasty red stuff they’d smeared on him. The camera trained on them and thank God, she had a big long speech before he had to say anything.
“I can’t believe you’re not dead. I mean, I know you did die, I saw it, but you’re not dead now. I thought one of us would be gone when all this was over and now that it’s over, I don’t know what to think.” This was just so much of how he’d wanted to hear her react to his being alive, that he had to try to talk.
“Buff-” he began, reaching for her. She stopped him with a finger on his lips.
“Don’t say anything. I need to say this.” She looked down at her hands. “I’ve always had issues with guys. I know you know that. I thought I needed time for me, I told Angel that, but what I needed was the right guy. I don’t know if it will be forever, but right now, that guy is you. If you still want me.”
“Always,” he whispered, caught up in the moment. This time when he reached for her, she responded and the washcloth fell from her hands as he embraced her. Their lips met and for him, time stopped. This was his heaven.
“Still macking on the evil undead?” Nick interrupted them. “Can you just wait till you get a room and I don’t have to watch?”
“Don’t have to watch now, whelp!” Spike said tersely. The camera blinked off.
“That’s not your line, James.” Spike looked chagrined.
“Sorry, uh what is it?”
“Don’t you have macking of your own to do?”
“Right, uh, don’t you have macking of your own to do?” The camera blinked off again.
“I need some more, James. Let’s leave out the uh too.”
“Okay. Don’t you have macking of your own to do?”
“Like with me?” Emma walked in and wrapped her arms around Nick. “We are together
again, right? I mean, you said that and all before I almost died. Was that just a goodbye-soothe-your-last-moment’s thing?”
“No, no,” Nick hasted to assure her. “We’re of the good. I just wanted to let Buffy know we needed to get to the hospital now. A lot of these girls are more wounded than we can help them with.”
“Oh right!” Sarah jumped up. “I’m so sorry, of course let’s go.”
“Slayer,” sighed Spike. “Always got to be the big hero.”
“James, that’s not your line.”
“I’m sorry. I’ve bloody well completely forgotten everything. Can I take a few,
learn it again?”
“It’s all right,” Joss decided. “We’re ahead of schedule for once and there’s some editing to be done and some story work. Go home, study your script and we’ll pick it up again tomorrow. See what a nice director I am?”
“You’re the best, Joss,” Sarah told him, grinning. “Freddy, let’s go home. See you all tonight.”
Spike watched longingly as Freddy and Sarah walked off, presumably to do things that only he should be allowed to do with her, well, with his Buffy anyway. Spike walked back to Faith, Willow and Andrew, who looked uncomfortable and completely out of place.
“Quick, let’s get outta here and work on that spell thingy.”
“Please yes,” Willow said. The four of them got out as quickly as possible, not
stopping for “costume” changes or makeup removal on their way out, only to pick up their personalized scripts and a copy of Who’s Who in the Buffy World.
The door to the studio stopped Spike in his tracks.
“It’s day out, I can’t go out there.”
“Oh, shooey,” Willow agreed. “Plus, we don’t have anywhere to go. We’re all new
and outsidey and don’t know where we live.” Just then, someone from the outside pushed the door open so fast they didn’t have time to react and Spike was enveloped in sunlight.
“Kinda tickles,” he remarked as everyone stood in awe and watched him not be burned.
“Yay for Spike the sunlight vamp!” Andrew cried. Spike rushed outside and stood in the sun, drowning himself in it. He wanted more; he wanted to rip off all his clothes and let it sink into him. Being where he was and who he was with, he didn’t do that.
“Let’s go to a park or something and figure out what to do,” he suggested, unwilling to leave the sun. They all agreed and soon they were walking the city streets in search of a park.
***
“This is so cool.” Andrew pored over the book. “This has everything we’ve ever done in it. It’s like someone was recording our lives like in The Truman Show.”
“Someone was recording our lives,” Faith told him. “In the not cool, we get to go live in the real world again kinda way.”
“Okay, first off, why am I not burning up?” Spike asked the obvious question. “My heart’s not-wait, it is beating! But I’m still dead and I can still.” His face shifted and his game face came out. “So I’m-what? Why is my heat beating, but I’m still a vampire?”
Willow was theorizing on this,
“I think we retain some of our powers and not others, like I’ve noticed my magical power level is at way less than normal. I feel kinda naked without it. At least I still have some of it or we couldn’t get out of here.”
“Faith, what have you lost?” Andrew inquired. “You still wicked strong?” She reached out her hand and lifted him off the ground, “That’s a yes,” he squeaked.
“But,” Spike said and threw a lightening fast punch at Faith’s head. He pulled it, but he would’ve slammed into her otherwise. She stammered in disbelief.
“I, I wouldn’t have caught that. My reflexes, my senses, they’re gone.”
“Well, the upside of me is that I haven’t lost anything!” Andrew cheered up at the thought.
“Too bad you didn’t lose your power of being annoying as hell,” Faith muttered. He stuck his tongue out at her and moved out of the way before she could reach him.
“I’m faster than you!” he rejoiced. Then he went back to reading his book. It was taking a long time for Willow to finish analyzing their auras in preparation for the spell to get them home, so Faith and Spike had nothing to do but fend off the people who kept coming up to them for autographs.
“Maybe the park wasn’t such a good idea after all,” Spike groaned as the tenth girl asked him for a kiss. “These bloody women won’t leave me alone!”
“Sucks to be you,” Faith told him grinning. It was cute watching him defend himself like a lost puppy dog. Maybe James-whoever could’ve handled it, but not Spike.
“I know who we all are!” Andrew crowed. He had flipped to the actor’s section of the book and found who they were supposed to be in this place Ethan had sent them.
“I’m Tom Lenk,” he said proudly. Spike snorted. “It’s a great name. Ooh, I’ve been on the show before. I played a vampire that was one of Harmony’s minions!” Spike laughed even harder.
“You played as one of Harm’s minions! Bloody hell. So you’ve been a vampire then?”
“I guess,” Andrew replied. “Ooh, here’s you Spike. Your name is James Marsters. You got kicked out of acting school. And you have an album out.”
“Who me?”
“Yup, called Civilized Man.”
“Bloody stupid title,” Spike grumbled.
“Faith, your name is Eliza Dushku. And your tattoo is fake.”
“Is not! I went through a lot to get this thing,” she cried.
“Willow, your name is Alyson Hannigan. You weren’t even the one originally selected to play Willow and you’re married to Alexis Denisov.”
“Who?” Willow was confused. “I’m all straight? That’s a pretty girly name though.”
“Alexis Denisov, who currently plays as Wesley Wyndham-Price on the show Angel.” All heads spun around on that one.
“No way! I married the Marlboro Man?”
“Ha, ha.” Spike couldn’t stop laughing. “Poor Fred,” he chuckled.
“Didn’t know Wes had it in him,” Faith agreed, “Seducing the poor little Willow
away from her beloved Kennedy.”
“That’s probably not how it happened,” Andrew told them, but he thought it was pretty funny too. “Anyway, here’s everybody else. Xander’s name is Nick Brendon, but he goes by Nicky. Giles is Anthony Stewart Head, but we all call him Tony, Anya is Emma Caulfield, Buffy is Sarah Michelle Gellar who is married to Freddy Prince Junior.”
“Junior?” Spike scoffed.
“Dawn is Michelle Trachtenberg, Angel is David Boreanaz and Joss, that guy, he’s
the creator of the show. He’s like majorly important.”
“Didn’t seem that impressive to me,” Faith commented.
“Well, he is. He created Buffy, then Angel and then some show called Firefly. Anyway, let’s steer clear of him.”
“Agreed,” said Faith. “Any guy who’s supposed to have made us up, gives me the heeby jeebies.”
“Red, you done yet?”
“Yes,” Willow sighed and broke off her concentration. “Okay, good news is we can break the spell. Bad news is we have to convince someone who lives in this reality to help.”
“Who?” Andrew asked.
“Anybody, just so long as they belong here. Does anybody think anybody would believe us?”
“First thing,” Spike said. “I know it’s everybody’s first instinct to rush to Buffy, but we’re not pulling Sarah or whatever her name is, into this.”
“I understand,” Willow said. “Not Xander or Giles either please. Maybe Dawn.”
“No,” Spike said. “Here the Nibblet is just a kid, probably all high and mighty with the fame. We need an adult.”
“How about Anya?” Andrew suggested.
“Yeah, she’ll do, she seemed to have a level head. Won’t be all screaming with
terror at the likes of us and our bloody crazy stories,” Spike agreed. So did Faith.
“Hell, I think we’re crazy. She’ll freak, but I think not as bad as some of the others. We could tell this Joss guy, I suppose, but he’d probably want us to stay and live out our lives on the screen so he won’t lose his show and the ability to manipulate our lives.”
“Then tonight at the thing, whatever it is, we’re supposed to be at,” Willow told them. “We have to get Anya’s-Emma’s help; it might take awhile. It would if it were me.”
“Oh well,” Spike said. “We gotta try. The real Buffy is counting on us.”
“Aly?” came a soft voice behind them. Spike groaned expecting more fans. But instead Wesley was coming to them across the park.
“Aly honey, I was worried about you. You were supposed to be home an hour ago.” It was really weird listening to him because he spoke without the British accent. They all looked at Willow expectantly.
“Ah, hi,” she said nervously. “We were just talking about acting stuff, cause we’re actors and we need to…act together to be better actors.”
“It’s obviously working,” he chuckled. “That was perfect Willow babble to my ears.”
“Ha, ha,” she laughed, looking at the others to help her. “Thanks.”
“I think we’d better get home now, because we still have to prepare for the gala dinner tonight.”
“Gala dinner?” Andrew asked, searching through his book as if that would tell them anything about it. Alexis looked at him, confused.
“Of course. The big charity auction that Buffy/Angel is holding tonight. The one we’re all going to.”
“Oh, that one.” Andrew faked a laugh. “Silly me, all the fame going to my head.”
“Sweetie,” Willow interrupted hesitantly. “We’re playing a game. Um, pretending that we don’t know who we are. Can you tell us where we all live?” Alexis looked at her
strangely.
“Yes, of course. Work too hard again? You won’t have another episode? Last time you forgot who you were, thought you were someone else.” Willow smiled nervously at him.
“Nope,” she said. “All fine and sane here. Just a lot of heat and stuff. We just wanted to see if you could do it, you know, show us where everybody lives.” Alexis raised his eyebrow at her lame excuse and made a mental note to pursue it later. He reached out and she took his proffered hand, looking at Spike in panic. He just laughed at her. She stuck her tongue out at him and they all followed Alexis to his car.
***
That night they were clumsy. They tried their best to act natural and friendly with these people, but it was hard and they all made mistakes. The hardest thing was to not call everybody by the names they knew them as. Willow wanted so badly to hug Xander, but she didn’t know if Nick would find that appropriate or not. Spike just glowered as he saw Sarah talking with not only her husband, but David Boreanaz aka Angel as well. Even with their periodic moments of spazzing, Faith and Andrew still had a blast, especially Andrew with his book.
One of Faith’s was a photo op with the Mayor, or rather Harry Groening. She had wanted nothing more than to hug him, and all she could do was stare for a moment or two. Andrew’s was when he saw Warren and Jonathan and someone asked for the Trio’s picture. Standing in between the person he’d killed and the person who he thought had told him to do it, was wig-worthy. Poor Adam Busch and Danny Strong didn’t know what was up with him that night. Andrew kept stifling the impulse to touch them to make sure they were real.
All four of the displaced team struggled to keep their emotions to themselves as they talked with people they didn’t know wearing the faces of their friends, lovers and family. They stuck as close to Emma Caulfield as possible, in order to find a way to explain their situation and ask for her help. She didn’t seem to mind, chatting with them over this and that and as a result witnessed more of their goof ups than anybody else.
When they arrived they found that they could mingle around the various displays for auction before dinner would be served. Almost immediately Willow nearly had a heart attack. Spike frowned as she swooned in Alexis’ arms.
“Red, what is it?” She pointed wordlessly across the room and they followed her finger to see two people who they never expected to see talking together. Tara and Oz. Willow’s eyes filled with tears.
“It’s not them,” Spike whispered into her ear while a worried Alexis went to get
her some punch. “It’s Amber something and Seth…?”
“Green,” Andrew supplied via his trusty book.
“I know,” Willow said, gaining strength. “Please, I don’t want to talk to them. Please, I can’t handle seeing her and having it not be her, not able to talk to or touch-“ Willow broke off for a moment. “And her with him and not having seen him and it’s just like my dream with the cheese-man and the no flossing.”
“Darling, are you all right?” Alexis was back with the punch. Willow sipped it eagerly.
“Yup, just a little woozy. Too much…something.”
“Aly, you okay?” Emma appeared at their side. “Alexis said you weren’t feeling well.”
“Red just got a little tired,” Spike said.
“Red?” Emma looked at him, amused. “You really are getting into this whole method-acting thing, aren’t you?”
“Uh, yeah,” Faith broke in. “Don’t mind him; just a little dazed. The four of us made a trip to the park today. Bad idea. Too many Buffy-lovers.”
“Did you have to say that?” Spike barked out, not liking the terms Buffy and lovers put together unless it had something to do with him.
“Hey guys, what’s up?” A dark-haired, smiling man walked over to them. His voice sounded very familiar, but none of them could place it. “What’d I do?” he asked, grinning when they didn’t say anything. Andrew was feverously scanning his book looking for a picture.
“Andy,” Alexis said. “Glad you could make it. Last I heard you were doing a show instead.”
“Decided to join James here and our other master musicians for their show later.”
"It’s Lorne!” Andrew hissed in Spike’s ear. But he was too busy digesting Andy’s last words.
“Singing? There’s singing- by me? I don’t do singing.”
“The modesty act is good, James,” Emma said, watching Spike with interest. “Tone it down a little if you want to be believable.”
“It better be believable,” Spike groaned. “Cause I really mean it.” She looked at him strangely.
“I believe you do.”
“Listen, Alexis, you and I have got to go over to the Angel table for some photo ops,” Andy said. “You can get back here to your ravishing wife later.”
“Of course,” Alexis agreed. He turned to Willow, “I’ll be back later, have a good time.” Then he kissed her quickly and left. Willow turned as red as her hair, trying to deal with a world where Wesley kissed her and Tara was alive talking to Oz.
“Listen, Emma,” Faith said. “Now that it’s just us, we need to talk to you.”
“All right, what is it? You four have been totally weird all day. And I’ve never seen the four of you so attached to each other.”
“We’re not ourselves right now. I know you noticed that, but you might not believe why we’re not ourselves. Do you think we could get together with you privately and maybe demonstrate how not ourselves we are?” Faith asked her. Emma nodded, curious, though she entertained the notion that this was an elaborate prank.
“James!” came a female voice coming toward them. They all turned to see Drusilla coming up to them. Willow and Andrew recoiled and Emma gave them a dissecting sort of look. Drusilla gave Spike a small hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“I hope Patricia would be okay with that,” she told him grinning. “You guys are adorable together. It has been ages since I’ve seen you. Where have you been?” Spike turned around to Andrew, muttering under his breath,
“Who’s Patricia? There’s a Patricia now? Who’s this being Dru?” Andrew turned to consult his book, Emma watched with interest as Spike turned back to the woman.
“I’ve been…traveling a lot,” he offered. She smiled at him.
“I’ll believe it, but still on top with the accent. I don’t know how you do it. I’m always glad to come back, but the accent is the killer for me.”
Andrew poked Spike in the ribs and Spike leaned in for a surreptitious conference.
“Her name is Juliet Landau. Patricia is your girlfriend.”
“Girlfriend?” he asked, stunned. “Why do I have a girlfriend?”
“Well, honestly, Blondie, you ain’t that ugly,” Faith told him.
“Ix-nay on the ondie-blay,” Andrew admonished. They quieted instantly before
turning back to Juliet and Emma.
“So,” Spike asked them, going for nonchalant and failing miserably. “What are you doing? I mean lately, with acting and stuff.”
Juliet started to tell them all about her latest project and how thrilled she was
to be doing it and also to be coming back to both Buffy and Angel this year. They were interrupted by Andy again who came to snag Spike to do their show. He seriously had to be dragged backstage where he met with Andy, Tony, and several other people such as Adam Busch and Christian Kane who had played Lindsey on Angel, Spike remembered from Andrew’s earlier lecturing.
“This is set up like karaoke,” Andy told the others. “So people are going to be telling us what they want us to sing and there’ll be a machine and everything, so don’t worry if it’s been awhile since you sang a particular song.” Spike started to panic. He really started to panic and Tony and Christian had to literally haul him back to his seat when he tried to make a run for it.
The musical had been torture for him. Not because he was a bad singer, far from it, but because when he sang he had no control over what was happening to him. Spike had no wish to repeat that now, but before he could stop it, he was onstage with the others and listening to the crowds cheer, which loosened him up a little. Tony went up first and the immediate request was for Standing the song he’d done in the musical, which Andrew had loved reading about in his little book to Faith, who hadn’t been there.
Spike listened to him as he sang and suddenly he understood a lot better why Giles had left that year. He didn’t think it was right, but he could forgive him his part of abandoning them. Tony sang a couple of other songs and then it was Andy’s turn. He sang It’s Not That Easy Being Green and Lady Marmalade, apparently two songs he’d done on Angel. Spike thought the first one was a little obvious, but hey. Adam went next and sang a couple of songs that Spike hadn’t heard of. Then Christian sang a song called LA Song that he’d done on the Angel show and some others. All too soon, it was Spike’s turn.
The first song asked for was Rest in Peace, his song from the musical. Spike panicked. That song, he didn’t remember it and he didn’t want to. But he went on realizing it probably wouldn’t go over too well if he starting swearing at the crowd. The words showed on the screen and he started to sing, surprised at how easily it came back to him, despite some minor goof ups at the beginning. The song affected him as he thought about how far he and Buffy had come from then and how far they could go and real tears showed in his eyes as he finished the song. Cheers erupted and he looked over the vast crowd of people wondering how totally nerdy they would have to be to watch the neuroses of the Scoobies for eight years and then add Angel on top of it.
They asked him for another song, Behind Blue Eyes by the Who. Spike readily acquiesced, thinking of when the song had first come out and made Dru decide to turn the entire band so she could have them forever. Luckily he’d been able to talk her out of that one. The words came easily and he enjoyed singing it, imagining that no one was there. But the audience all roared when he finished and then they all had to sing a group song. The crowd opted for silly and before he knew it, Spike found himself singing the Oompa Loompa song from Willie Wonka and groaning inwardly knowing how Faith and Andrew would torture him later about it.
Their grins as he made his way back to them confirmed his fears, but thankfully, the show was the last part of the evening before dinner. They made their way into the dining area where Spike found himself seated between David and Tony and across the table from Emma.
“James,” David greeted him. “It’s been awhile. We’re all looking forward to your guest appearances on the show this year, though. Nice that the networks finally agreed to cooperate.” Spike looked at him strangely. This stranger was wearing Angel’s face and it was weird to have Angel talk like that to him. Angel never looked forward to seeing him.
“Well, I…like acting so I’m glad too,” he replied awkwardly. He could feel the lameness of the remark and flinched. But David just smiled and toasted him.
“We all like your acting, too.”
“Yes,” said Emma. “It is rather intriguing.” She eyed Spike speculatively and
noted his rather terrified and confused expression. And with that, the night was over. Spike met up with his three dimension-traveling companions on the way out. Willow was acting nervous.
“What is up with you?” Faith finally asked her. “Would you chill?”
“You’d be a little edgy yourself if you had to go home with Wesley, the man you married!” Willow whispered harshly.
“Come on,” Faith assured her. “Ole Wes would never force ya. Just act tired.”
“I am tired,” Willow said. “It’s going to take all my energy tomorrow to break Ethan’s spell.”
“So when are we gonna talk to her?” Andrew asked, gesturing to Emma coming toward them.
“Early tomorrow, before set call or whatever the bloody hell it is,” Spike said, still disgruntled from his performance earlier.
“Emma,” Andrew asked her as she joined them. “Could we talk to you tomorrow before we work? It’s a matter of diabolical importance to the universe.”
“Is it?” she asked. “Well then, of course. Meet you outside the lot tomorrow then.” She waved her hand at them. “Goodnight, you wacky kids.” Alexis came up then and claimed Willow who walked away with him as edgy as a polecat.
The other three went to their respective homes that each could not believe belonged to them, then couldn’t handle it and decided to all stay the night at Spike’s place and prepare themselves for the morrow by reading their scripts.
***
Spike was sleeping in his bed when a jolt shot through him that reminded him of the chip, but it wasn’t just in his head, it was through his whole body. Dimly through the pain coursing through him, he could hear screams. That would be Andrew.
Cursing, Spike sat up and tried to walk; he couldn’t. It was a helpless feeling, but he could only lie there and groan through the agony pounding into him.
Five minutes passed, though it seemed an hour, and the pain receded, leaving him weak and drained.
"That’s it," he said to himself. "No more pain. No more torture, draining spells, chips or anything else. Sod it all." But Spike knew, even through the pain that he would keep looking for Buffy until either he found her, or he was dust. At the moment though, he had to go see how Andrew was.
Spike stumbled along in the direction of the room he thought he remembered stashing Andrew in. He met Faith outside the door in the same condition as he was.
“What the hell was that?” she gasped out.
“No clue, luv.” He too had difficulty talking. “But let’s get the boy before we start investigating.” She nodded and they entered Andrew’s room to find him lying on the floor, shuddering.
“Andy, you gonna make it?” Faith asked.
“What is it? Why does it hurt?” he moaned, half conscious.
“We don’t know,” Spike answered him. “But we gotta find out and get to the witch. If she hasn’t been hit too, which I strongly suspect she has, she could probably help.” Just at that moment, the telephone rang. They all jumped.
“Ah, hello?” Spike picked it up, hesitantly. He wouldn’t have answered, but if was Willow he couldn’t afford not to.
“James!” Alexis’ voice shouted in his sensitive ear. “Get to the hospital.”
“What’s up, mate? Is Will-Alyson okay?”
“No, she’s not okay!” The man sounded desperate. “She’s had an attack of some
kind and she keeps calling for you. I think she’s delusional. She keeps saying, ‘Get Spike!’ I can’t make any sense out of it. Just come to St. Mary’s please. We’re in the ambulance now.”
“I’ll be right there,” Spike assured him. “Let’s go,” he said to the others.
“You think she was hit worse than us?” Faith asked him.
“Probably,” Spike answered. “You and I got our super stuff so we made off better than Andrew. This is magic so it makes sense the one with the magic would get it the worst.”
“This is magic?” Andrew asked, his eyes wide. “It hurts.”
“That it does,” Spike said. “Let’s just get to the hospital and make sure Red’s
all right.”
***
The hospital doors flung open as Spike swept through in his duster, which he’d neglected to take back to the wardrobe person when they’d left the day before. Faith and Andrew strode along behind him. They made a determined picture.
“Where is she?” Spike demanded of the desk nurse who looked up, frightened.
“Where’s who?” she asked nervously.
“Will-Am-An-Aly-“ Spike cut off, sputtering. “Who?” He turned to Andrew.
“Alyson Hannigan,” Andrew said. “She was just brought in and she asked for us.”
“Are you family?” she asked, her duties returning to her.
“Might as well be,” Spike muttered. “Look, we have to see her. Her husband
called us.”
“I’m sorry, but you need to be family. Let me just call up to her husband.”
“Look, you daft bint,” Spike began when an intern approached, his eyes agape.
“Betty, you idiot. That’s James Marsters. And Alyson Hannigan, his co-worker was
just brought in. Yeah, let them through.”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Marsters,” Betty began, her face flushing as she recognized them,
pushing the button to let them through, while planning how to tell her friends that James Marsters had called her a ‘daft bint.’ “We just have to be extra careful around here.”
Spike was through the doors before she had finished speaking and Faith and Andrew followed along. They met a pacing Alexis in the hallway outside her room.
“Thank God you’ve come!” He hurried over to them. “She’s stable now, but the
doctors have no clue what happened and she keeps asking for you. Oh hello, Eliza, Tom. Thank you for coming too. Maybe she did mention you two in her ramblings come to think of
it. Not that any of it made-“
“Can we see her now?” Spike interrupted him.
“Of course, I’m sorry. Please, see if you can make some sense out of her.” Alexis ushered them through to Willow’s room. She lay in the bed, pale and flushed;
probably that was how they looked too. She smiled weakly at them as they stood by her bed with Alexis hovering on the outside.
“You came.” She sounded awful.
“Of course we bloody well came,” Spike told her. “What made you think we
wouldn’t?”
“I thought you’d have gone back,” she murmured.
“And how were we supposed to do that without you?” Faith asked her.
“They could’ve won. You guys couldn’t tell. They could’ve made you go back.”
“She keeps talking like that,” Alexis told them. “What does it mean?”
“I don’t understand it all myself there,” Spike told him. “But don’t you worry. The doctors will make her right as rain.”
“And we probably won’t be working tomorrow,” Andrew sounded disappointed. “Not with her down and all.”
“I imagine you’ll just shoot around her,” Alexis assured them.
“Oh.” Spike and Faith were definitely disappointed. Willow closed her eyes and
fell asleep. They trooped back into the hallway. Andrew fainted again.
“He couldn’t take it either,” Faith commented. “Poor guy.”
“He’s not strong like us,” Spike reminded her. “I’m surprised we’re not down
there with him.” Alexis rushed off to get a doctor, fearing that his wife and the other cast members had somehow been poisoned the night before at the benefit. The doctors came and strapped Andrew to a gurney to examine him while Alexis returned to Willow.
Spike and Faith waited outside the room while the doctors made their diagnosis. One of them came outside and spoke to them.
“Are you family?” she asked.
“Close friends,” Spike answered.
“Are there any family members here?” she persisted.
“No, it’s just us, lady,” Faith told her.
“Well, he’s in stable condition. His readings are the same as Miss Hannigan’s,
though less dramatic. We’ll need to keep him for awhile for observation.”
“Sure thing,” Spike told her. “Can we see him? Is he awake?”
“Of course, go on in,” she told them. They went into the room and found Andrew
looking well. But they could tell he was in pain and they honestly didn’t know how he’d managed to pull himself together to even make it to the hospital. Conveniently the hospital had placed him in the same room with Willow, so they were able to keep watch on both of them.
***
Later that night Alexis was summoned away by the doctors and he went with them, asking,
“You’ll watch over her?”
“Of course,” Spike assured him.
“I’m calling Joss,” he said. “So I’ll talk to him about Tom and see what he wants
to do today.”
“Thanks,” Faith said. As soon as he had left, Willow’s eyes popped open and she said,
“Thank goodness, I can wake up now.”
“You were faking?” Faith asked in disbelief. “You looked wiped, Will.”
“Oh, make no bones about it,” Willow assured her. “Wiped is me. But I wanted to
keep us all together here for as long as possible. And as much as I love hubby dearest there, he doesn’t need to hear this.”
“Hear what?” Andrew had woken up.
“What caused the big ouch,” Willow answered him.
“Then you know what did this?” Spike asked her.
“I have a theory,” she smiled brightly. “Is a theory good?”
“It’s a start.”
“Well, when Ethan decided to make us his dimension play toys, he sent us into this
alternate world. Normally that’s easy. Just point, click and you’re there. But if he’d done that, then there’d be pairs of us walking around. Not that that wouldn’t have been good Chaos-y fun, but he wanted more. So he shoved us into our alternate doppel’s bodies. Now they’re like inside while we’re in control of their body.”
“Sorta like how Angelus is always cooped up inside Angel,” Faith said.
“Basically. Though they belong in the same body, we don’t. My theory is that they’re trying to make us leave.”
“By killing us?” Andrew asked, incredulously.
“Well maybe. I don’t think they even know what they’re doing,” Willow thought. “But their anger and desperation is sorta manifesting into big pain and hurt for us. It’ll happen again, but this time, it literally could kill us by say, driving us from their bodies and we die without our own or it could send us back to our own. I don’t know.
Either way, the strain isn’t good for our-their bodies.”
“How’d you mean, Red?” Spike asked.
“Well, we’re feeling the pain cause we’re in control, but the bodies are theirs so when we’re gone, they’ll have to deal with the effects of their own emotions.”
“Bloody hell,” Spike swore. “It’s never simple is it? Basically, we gotta get gone
before these buggers oust us from their bodies and kill themselves.”
“Maybe yes,” Willow said. “Everybody having fun yet?” Alexis came back into the room.
“Honey, you’re awake.” He crossed to Willow and took her hand. “The doctors say you’re going to be just fine, though they couldn’t find a cause. It was as if your body suddenly and violently decided it didn’t like you. If it were to happen again there could be some long-term damage, but they’re confident you’ll be fine. So, are you fine?” he asked, caressing her fingers.
“Sure,” Willow said pulling her hand away. “Just sleepy is all. I need rest. Lots of it.”
“Of course,” he agreed, smoothing her hair back and kissing her forehead. With a pang, she remembered Oz doing that when she’d been in the hospital during the Angelus phase. She felt bad for this man who thought she was his wife.
“Thank you, sweetie,” she told him. “I’ll see you later.”
“Joss said to tell you both that he’s seriously planning on killing you off, but to get well and that shooting would resume tomorrow morning if your doctors said you were up for it.”
“Good.” Spike and Faith breathed a sigh of relief. Andrew still looked disappointed. He had wanted to try his hand at acting.
“I have to get ready to go to the set now,” Alexis told Willow. “But as soon as we’re done, I’ll be right back here with you. You’ll be okay without me?”
“Yeah, don’t worry. I’m of the good. So go.”
“We’ll be here,” Spike told him. Alexis looked relieved.
“Thank you. This is above and beyond the call of friendship.”
“Well, your girl here is important to us,” Faith said awkwardly. Willow’s eyes flashed at
that.
“Thank you,” Alexis said again and he left. They talked again after he left, but decided they really couldn’t do anything until it was morning and they could talk to Emma and get her to come to the hospital, so they all settled in for some much needed sleep, Spike and Faith grumbling about the uncomfortable-ness of hospital chairs.
***
When she heard what had happened, Emma came by to see how they were doing. They sat her down firmly and proceeded to give her the talk.
“Listen, Emma luv,” Spike began. “Like we said earlier, we aren’t ourselves and the reason is we are the characters we’re supposed to be playing. Where we come from, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel, all of it, is real. I really am Spike, that’s Faith, Willow and Andrew. We got sent into your dimension by Ethan Rayne who maybe you’ve heard of and stuck inside your actor’s bodies.”
“You know, I almost believe you,” she said, before starting to laugh at what she knew had to be a prank.
“It’s hard to understand, we know,” Willow told her. “We all had to face the fact demons were real too. Only in much more life-threatening circumstances, like when Spike’s grandmother jumped one of my best friends and I was trying to seize the moment-“
“Off the point, Will,” Faith broke in.
“Right.” Willow shut up. Emma looked even more amused.
“You guys have acting down to an art. How long have you been working on this? Don’t tell
me the sick spells are part of it?”
“A very nasty part,” Andrew said, putting his hand to his head.
“The point of all of this; is we have to get home to our dimension. In it, Buffy’s missing and we have to find her.” Spike started to press the point.
“Buffy, Miss Perfect, is missing and she needs you four to find her? Oh, this is so funny, guys.”
“We’re telling you the truth.” Spike got very serious. “We’ll prove it to you, but the reason we’re telling you all this, is we need your help to get back. Gotta work some anti-world mojo or something. Will’s got that part.”
“So go ahead and prove it to me,” Emma told them, a twinkle in her eye. “And don’t use the fake stuff from the set; you know I’ve seen it all.”
“Betcha you’ve only see this on television,” Spike said and morphed right in front of her. Emma’s eyes went wide, but she kept silent. Faith stood up and lifted up Andrew’s bed with him on it. Emma shrank further back into her chair. Willow pointed her fingers to the chair next to Emma and it levitated off the ground.
“What are you people?” Emma asked faintly, rather proud of herself for not fainting.
“We’re a Master vampire, a Vampire Slayer, a way-powerful witch and a nerd,” Faith told her. Andrew started to protest, but she interrupted him. “Let us handle this one, Andy; you’re fragile and weak right now.”
“Am not!” Andrew grumbled, settling back into his bed.
“Andy’s also a bad-ass demon summoner,” Faith modified. “Satisfied?”
“Much better,” he assured her.
“Now that his ego’s intact.” Faith rolled her eyes. “We don’t want to be here in the
bodies of your friends, Emma. Help us go home.”
“What did you do to them?” Emma asked, still deadly quiet.
“Didn’t do nothing,” Spike told her.
“This really bad Chaos-man who’s been on the show before, Ethan Rayne, jerked our essences
from our bodies and shoved them into your friends. Now they’re trying to get out, by hurting us, but they’re hurting their own bodies, not ours, and it would be really good to go home now!” Willow explained. Emma shook her head, confused.
“Robin did this?”
“Not Robby-boy himself the actor, but his actual character from our world,” Spike said.
“Hate to put on the pressure, pet, but we gotta get going now. We don’t belong here.”
“What do I have to do?” Emma asked, steadiness now in her voice. She wanted them gone so
she could pretend this had never happened.
“We kinda need you to be the person who says in a deep scary voice, ‘we don’t want you here, go home!’ ” Willow told her. “Only you don’t have to do the scary voice. But it could be fun for you, being an actor and all.”
“I’ll save the acting for the screen,” Emma decided. “So, when do we do this?”
“As soon as-“ Willow began, but she interrupted herself by screaming as she convulsed. Spike and Faith dropped to the floor, shaking, as Andrew began to shout gibberish. To Emma’s untrained ear, it sounded like Klingon. But he, too, was obviously in pain and she
ran for the doctor.
***
When Spike came to, he was on a gurney being wheeled toward the morgue. He jumped off it amid shouts of disbelief from the orderlies manning his gurney.
“You were dead! You didn’t have a pulse,” they shouted.
“I know! Been dead for awhile now, though the heartbeat’s a bit new!” Spike shouted at them, “Where are the others?”
“Intensive care,” one of them said in shock. Spike took off running down the hall. When he arrived, he found Faith and Andrew in stable condition, but Willow was still busily being worked on. He practically fainted against the table, still overcome by this pain episode.
“Boss, you all right?” Faith’s weak voice reached through the pain drumming in his head.
“Bloody perfect,” he stammered out. “Red’s gonna be all right, isn’t she?”
“Sure, they got her stable now. But we gotta jet fast or she’s gonna be a goner. This magic stuff is draining her.”
Emma sat in a chair outside, watching them with a pale face. When she saw Spike, she rose and walked over to where he stood by Faith’s bed. Andrew was still unconscious.
“You were dead,” she told Spike shivering.
“I’ve always been dead, luv,” he told her.
“But you were alive, Blondie,” Faith said. “Then you died and now you’re alive
again.”
“Still a mite curious about that myself,” he answered. “We’ll have to wait for
Will to reveal all.”
“Revealing, okay,” Willow’s barely audible voice echoed in Spike’s ears.
“She’s stable,” the doctor sighed in relief. “We’ll keep her here for now, but she should be okay if this doesn’t happen again. Get her husband here.”
The doctors all left, leaving Emma alone with the four patients. Spike sat down
thankfully on an empty bed. Emma sat in a chair while Willow struggled to sit up.
“Don’t,” Faith told her. “Keep your strength for getting home.”
“We have to now,” Willow said. “Another hit like that and I’m a goner.”
“So Emma here is ready, we’re all set, let’s go,” Spike said.
“We have to let me get my strength back first and Andrew has to be awake,” Willow
told him.
“Fine, in the meantime, tell me why I’m not dead?” Spike asked. “We’re all very
curious to know.”
“Don’t know exactly.” Willow thought for a moment. “Well, like I said, our
insides, who we are, were placed inside a foreign body. The parts of ourselves that were
our body aren’t here, cause we have a new one. So that’s why Faith’s reflexes are gone,
they were connected to her body. Her strength comes from her soul.” Faith smiled a
little, but didn’t say anything. Willow continued, “Me, the magic that is gone, is the
magic I drew from my body that had accumulated there over the years. Andrew’s body and
Tom’s body are the same exactly, so he didn’t lose anything. Except for maybe some things
like doing the splits or something.”
“I can’t do the splits anyway,” Andrew’s voice, thick and raspy, entered the
conversation. “Tucker always could, but not me. Must have been different evil genes.”
“Don’t talk nonsense, Andy,” Faith told him.
“Spike’s the most complicated, as usual,” Willow said. Spike made a face at her.
“He’s a vampire, but this body hasn’t done the whole blood-sucking thing with his demon,
so it’s more like possession than a hybrid. That’s why the body’s still alive and he can
be In Sunshine Man.”
“If James’ body was alive, how come it died?” Emma asked quietly.
“That’s kinda my blank spot,” Willow admitted. “But my guess is that because no
one was driving, meaning Spike was unconscious and James was repressed under Spike, the
body died without anyone in control of it. Spike still has his strength and supernatural
stuff because his demon brings that to him and the demon’s in this body. And that’s all
for Inter-Dimensional Traveling School today.”
“You gonna be okay, right, Red? Not backing out on us?” Spike asked her, worried
at her condition.
“Be fine and dandy as soon as I got my body. Just need a few things.”
“Like what? We should do this before your husband gets here and finds you like
that,” Andrew pointed out. Willow closed her eyes a minute and when she opened them
again, they were clearer and more defined.
“Anything to make a circle around us and our hair.”
“Our what?” Spike squawked, putting a protective hand on his head. As much as he
didn’t want to admit it, he liked his hair. A lot. It didn’t stupidly stick straight up
or require more hair gel than an entire boy band, unlike others he could mention, and he
liked it that way.
“We need something of ourselves for Emma to ban, so it’s either your hair or any
fingers you want to donate,” Willow’s voice rasped and Spike instantly obeyed, plucking a
few strands of hair from his head and throwing them at Faith, who stuck her tongue at him
and let the hair fall to the ground.
Emma returned with some baby powder that she sprinkled in a circle around the four
of them; Spike holding Willow, Faith supporting Andrew. Then she made another circle
around herself, and her previous circle under Willow’s direction. Faith had cut off locks
off all their hair and handed them to Emma, who held them in her hands along with a
lighter procured from her purse. Willow began to chant some unintelligible words and then
spoke clearly, a dim glow emanating from her.
“Gatekeeper, we implore thee. Open the doors for us and send us to our place of
belonging. Banish us from these forms and prepare our own to receive us.”
A light began to shine along the edges of each circle. Willow nodded to Emma, who
was starting to look seriously freaked out.
“Now.”
Emma placed all the hair inside a hospital bed pan and lit it on fire and spoke
the words Willow had told her.
“Gatekeeper, I implore thee. Send these back to where they belong. Burn their
essences from the bodies wrongfully occupied. Ban them and release the spirits captive
within.” Emma shook and Willow continued to chant. The lights flared all at once and the
First Slayer Rescue Brigade, along with their honorary member, disappeared as the bodies
they’d been in collapsed. As they whirled out of time and thought, they could hear Emma’s
voice echoing in their ears,
“Goodbye. I hope you find her.” Then there was nothing.
***
Emma rushed over to her friends and helped them sit up as they came to.
“Emma, what happened to us?” Alyson sat up and rubbed her head. “Did something
happen on set?”
“No, you fainted, sweetie,” Emma told her. “You’re in the hospital, but you’re
gonna be fine. Alex is on his way.”
“That was majorly weird.” James sat up and cracked his neck. “Emma, what
happened? Why am I in a hospital? With all of you?”
“You fainted; you’ll be fine. I’ll let Patricia know you’re okay.” Emma wondered
how many times she was going to have to repeat herself. “Tom, Eliza? You’re okay, you’re
in the hospital. Let’s get you back into bed.” Emma helped them all to settle into their
beds and went to get the doctors and perform the necessary phone calls.
Alexis rushed into the room and grabbed Alyson’s hand.
“Sweetie, are you all right?” he asked anxiously.
“I think so,” she looked around. “I had the strangest dream.”
Over the next few days, the fan base of Buffy the Vampire Slayer was relieved to hear that
the four members of the cast who had taken seriously ill were going to be just fine. It
was surmised that someone had sabotaged them at the benefit and charity dinner they had
all attended the night before their attacks, though no one was ever charged for the crime.
In the meantime, shooting got back underway and everyone eagerly awaited the next
season of the show they’d all come to love and cherish. And if Emma remembered her time
with a real Vampire, Slayer, Witch and Demon-summoner, she never told anyone.
***
Buffy opened her eyes to make sure her annoyingly smarmy captor wasn’t at his desk doing his writing thing, whatever that was supposed to be. He wasn’t. She quickly broke the chains on her wrists and stretched them for the first time in what seemed like years. Getting to her feet, she stretched every part of herself to make her body limber for the fight ahead and then explored the room.
There was only one entrance or exit and it was locked, though nothing she couldn’t break if needed. The only bit of furniture was the writing desk and the chair that belonged to it. Opening the drawer, and breaking off a piece of the back of it, she held a make shift stake. Turning around, Buffy prepared herself for battle.
