Farscape Oneshot: Your Body is Not a Word
Dec. 30th, 2025 03:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jesterladyficTitle: Your Body is Not a Word
By Jesterlady
Rating: PG
Summary: Chiana and John have a little chat about her interactions with his younger self.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Farscape. The title is from Margaret Atwood
Your Body is Not a Word
Chiana was bored.
True, she had a lower threshold for such things than the rest of the crew, but she didn’t think anyone on the ship could really be considered content at the moment. It had been several monens since their sojourn to Crichton’s planet and practically nothing had happened. That was odd by itself, but there had been no fahrbot space anomalies, hostile attacks, or even Scorpius trying to kill them all in their sleep.
And it wasn’t like Chiana had anyone to pass the time with. D’Argo and she had definitely done a lot of repairing of their broken relationship, but he was being a stubborn frellnik and wouldn’t do anything with or to her that was even remotely fun.
It was also true that she didn’t want to ruin his tentative gestures of friendship by trying to rekindle a sexual relationship just because she was bored. He held a grudge far longer than he should, in her opinion. Sometimes she wished he would be more gracious, but then again, he’d been far more gracious to her than he would have been to anyone else, she knew.
There was no one else either. Crichton’s head was way too full of Aeryn to ever possibly accept even a momentary lapse in pleasure. As for Rygel and Scorpius, even she wasn’t that desperate. Not yet. Sikozu might just bite her head off for trying with Scorpius anyway.
There was really only one way to cure her boredom and that was with items from Earth. She had to hand it to Crichton’s people; they knew how to waste time. Chiana wandered down to the maintenance bay, the location of most of their Earth loot, where Crichton was busy tinkering with his ship.
Pilot had just announced that they were going through a patch of space that would frell with the comms for six arns or something like that and she would rather be in someone’s company, even if they were just in the room. She might be able to convince Crichton to watch something with her if she phrased it right.
Crichton was stretched out under his module and she appreciatively eyed the glimpses she could get of his arms.
“Hey, Pip,” he said, not stopping his work.
“Aren’t you done frelling around with that thing yet?” she asked, squatting down next to him.
“Considering how behind this baby is to the rest of the universe, I don’t think so,” he said. “I won’t be done till I’m dead.”
“Which could be sooner than you think,” she said brightly.
He laughed.
“That’s the spirit.” He poked his head out and gestured with greasy fingers. “Hand me that, will ya?”
Chiana picked up the tool in question. It wasn’t standard issue but one of the Earth things he had brought back with him. She didn’t know what it was called; she’d spent her time there learning about other things.
“Why’d you bring this backwards dren instead of other stuff,” she asked, handing it to him.
“People place different value on different things,” he grunted.
“But your planet is excessive,” said Chiana. “You just have more and more stuff. There isn’t room for anything else.”
“Can’t deny it,” he said. “Hit me going back there, that that was the case. Still, ain’t no place like home.”
“Unless you’re from Nebari Prime,” Chiana muttered.
“Not that I’ve seen the place myself, but I won’t argue there,” he said.
He worked for a bit in silence and Chiana pondered how to keep the conversation going. Now that she’d broken her boredom she found she would rather talk than just be with someone.
“Didn’t you like being home?” she asked. “Seeing your family?”
“Of course I did,” he said. “Just sometimes, you can’t go home. You know that better than anyone, Chi.”
“I guess I do,” she said, smiling faintly, pushing thoughts of Neri away.
“But I could bring a little of home with me,” he said, sliding out and wiping his hands on a rag. “Not just big things like chocolate and Bladerunner, but little things like socket wrenches.”
“You really like fixing things,” Chiana observed. “You’re not just trying to make wormholes or keep your module flying, you actually like it.”
“There’s something satisfying about making something work right. I wanted to fly all my life,” Crichton said, “but I’ve never been happier than just lying on my back, taking my truck apart.”
Chiana could get that. She’d learned how to fix Moya’s systems out of necessity and it would never be her path in life, but there was something good about when she fixed something and it worked.
“I know,” she said in response to what he said.
“And how do you know that?” he asked.
“You told me,” she said, thinking about his younger self. All stormy rebellion and gangly limbs and fresh hopes, very different from this John Crichton, but very much the same. That Crichton had looked at her the way she’d often wished this Crichton would. “On Earth, the first time.”
“Right,” said Crichton, looking at her funny.
“I spent a lot of time with the younger you,” she said casually. “Remember?”
He paused like something had just occurred to him and looked closely at her.
“I remember,” he said and something about the way he said it made her look closely at him.
“You, you really do know, don’t you?” she said, realizing. “About everything.”
“You’re pretty hard to forget, Pip,” he said softly.
“Then you always knew,” she said, wondering if he was mad.
“Naw,” he said. “Pretty sure it didn’t happen that way the first time around. Hell, even if it did, I doubt I would have remembered it the way everyone takes turns in my brain like it’s a ride at Disneyland.”
Chiana understood what he said. She understood him so much better, as did they all, now that they’d been to Earth. She’d been to Disneyland even. She liked cotton candy.
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” she said. “Wrinkles threw so much of her dren at you, I doubt you remember anything.”
“Yeah, timelines are pretty screwy,” he said. “I think I just had to live it again, and then we left earth, carbon monoxide poisoning aside, and I put two and two together.”
“Oh,” Chiana said, not sure how to respond.
How did you talk to the man whose virginity you took as a boy and who thought you were somebody else?
“Not often you’re without words,” said Crichton. “I kinda like it.”
“Aren’t you mad?” asked Chiana, shifting nervously.
“Well, it wasn’t exactly how I planned my first time,” he said. “I’m not thrilled about cheating on my girlfriend either. Guess I’m going to have to live with that guilt now, too.”
“She was a drag,” said Chiana dismissively. She didn’t have much respect for the ridiculous morals humanity seemed to live by. “She wouldn’t have known how to do any of what we did.”
“Not the point,” said Crichton, looking steadily at her. “It wasn’t your decision to make.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” Chiana sighed. “I can’t undo it.”
“Nope,” said Crichton. “I’m not saying the younger me isn’t at fault too or that it wasn’t a good first time, just that you were taking advantage of a teenage boy’s hormones, someone who, even though he didn’t know it, was your friend.”
“So what else is new?” she snapped, using an Earth phrase she was rather fond of, feeling cornered.
“You’re better than that, Chi,” he said.
“Maybe I’m not,” she said, not looking at him, thinking back to Jothee and what she’d done to both him and D’Argo.
Crichton reached over and tilted her chin up to look at him.
“You are,” he said firmly. “You also come from a place with a whole other set of rules and that’s why I’m not holding a grudge. I know it never occurred to you that I might not have wanted to do that if I’d known the truth.”
Chiana felt worse than before and she’d never agreed more with Aeryn than at that moment. Crichton ruined everything. He came into your life and made you rethink everything.
“Promise I won’t do it again,” she said.
“I’ll hold you to it.” He laughed.
She watched him start to put his tools away and struggled with whether or not to ask her next question.
“What do you remember?” she finally asked.
He stilled and then shook his head.
“I’m not having this conversation with you,” he said.
“Fine,” she said quickly, afraid to make him angry after he hadn’t been before.
“Despite nearly dying after,” he said, after a few moments of awkward silence, “it was good.” She smiled, completely satisfied with herself again, mostly since it seemed like he wasn’t mad and she hadn’t wrecked anything. “But don’t get any ideas,” he said, pointing his finger at her.
“I’ve always got ideas,” she said, grinning. “Too bad your head is full of something else.”
“Chiana,” he said warningly.
“I won’t even say it,” she said, “but I don’t get what you’re waiting for.”
“I’m not waiting for anything,” he said.
“You were all for it before,” she persisted.
“That was before a lot of things,” he said. “Things are different now.”
“She wants you, Crichton,” Chiana said, wondering as always if that was the only reason he hadn’t made a move since Aeryn came back. “She frelling wants you.”
“Too bad,” he said, his voice tight and restrained.
Chiana sighed and shook her head. It was clear as anything that no matter how much he wouldn’t discuss it Crichton was still deeply in love with Aeryn Sun, baby or no baby.
“Can I give you some advice?” she asked.
“Can I stop you?” he muttered.
“Don’t wait forever. You’re just making it harder on her and on yourself and one day you’ll regret giving up on the only good thing you ever had.”
He looked at her and smiled gently.
“We talking about you or me, Pip?”
She hated that he could see through her, but she was really offering out of sincerity.
“It’s universally good advice,” she admitted. “For all of us.”
“It’s not too late for you,” he said, holding her hand.
“Or you,” she shot back.
“I give, okay?” he said. “Now, let it go, please?”
She nodded and squeezed his hand. Boy or man, he was her best friend and she’d respect his decision for now even if she thought it was total dren. Crichton had a way of landing on his feet. Rather like her, she realized with a smirk.
“Now that you’re done frelling around, can we watch a movie?” she asked.
“I choose the movie and you make the popcorn,” he said. “It’s the least you can do to make it up to me.”
“For the best afternoon of your life,” she teased.
“I didn’t say that,” he countered. “Let’s not talk about it anymore; gives me the willies anyway.”
“It’s all in the past, right?” she said, her tone light, but she really did want to make sure, one final time.
He rolled his eyes and tugged her after him.
“But you’d met adult ass me first, which means you were in the future and I was in the past.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” said Chiana.
“Welcome to my life,” said Crichton, smiling at her, and it settled the last qualm of fear and guilt she’d been feeling.
She did still feel bad. Maybe she’d have to think a little bit more in the future, especially if she happened to be in the past.
At least she wasn’t bored anymore.
By Jesterlady
Rating: PG
Summary: Chiana and John have a little chat about her interactions with his younger self.
Disclaimer: I don’t own Farscape. The title is from Margaret Atwood
Your Body is Not a Word
Chiana was bored.
True, she had a lower threshold for such things than the rest of the crew, but she didn’t think anyone on the ship could really be considered content at the moment. It had been several monens since their sojourn to Crichton’s planet and practically nothing had happened. That was odd by itself, but there had been no fahrbot space anomalies, hostile attacks, or even Scorpius trying to kill them all in their sleep.
And it wasn’t like Chiana had anyone to pass the time with. D’Argo and she had definitely done a lot of repairing of their broken relationship, but he was being a stubborn frellnik and wouldn’t do anything with or to her that was even remotely fun.
It was also true that she didn’t want to ruin his tentative gestures of friendship by trying to rekindle a sexual relationship just because she was bored. He held a grudge far longer than he should, in her opinion. Sometimes she wished he would be more gracious, but then again, he’d been far more gracious to her than he would have been to anyone else, she knew.
There was no one else either. Crichton’s head was way too full of Aeryn to ever possibly accept even a momentary lapse in pleasure. As for Rygel and Scorpius, even she wasn’t that desperate. Not yet. Sikozu might just bite her head off for trying with Scorpius anyway.
There was really only one way to cure her boredom and that was with items from Earth. She had to hand it to Crichton’s people; they knew how to waste time. Chiana wandered down to the maintenance bay, the location of most of their Earth loot, where Crichton was busy tinkering with his ship.
Pilot had just announced that they were going through a patch of space that would frell with the comms for six arns or something like that and she would rather be in someone’s company, even if they were just in the room. She might be able to convince Crichton to watch something with her if she phrased it right.
Crichton was stretched out under his module and she appreciatively eyed the glimpses she could get of his arms.
“Hey, Pip,” he said, not stopping his work.
“Aren’t you done frelling around with that thing yet?” she asked, squatting down next to him.
“Considering how behind this baby is to the rest of the universe, I don’t think so,” he said. “I won’t be done till I’m dead.”
“Which could be sooner than you think,” she said brightly.
He laughed.
“That’s the spirit.” He poked his head out and gestured with greasy fingers. “Hand me that, will ya?”
Chiana picked up the tool in question. It wasn’t standard issue but one of the Earth things he had brought back with him. She didn’t know what it was called; she’d spent her time there learning about other things.
“Why’d you bring this backwards dren instead of other stuff,” she asked, handing it to him.
“People place different value on different things,” he grunted.
“But your planet is excessive,” said Chiana. “You just have more and more stuff. There isn’t room for anything else.”
“Can’t deny it,” he said. “Hit me going back there, that that was the case. Still, ain’t no place like home.”
“Unless you’re from Nebari Prime,” Chiana muttered.
“Not that I’ve seen the place myself, but I won’t argue there,” he said.
He worked for a bit in silence and Chiana pondered how to keep the conversation going. Now that she’d broken her boredom she found she would rather talk than just be with someone.
“Didn’t you like being home?” she asked. “Seeing your family?”
“Of course I did,” he said. “Just sometimes, you can’t go home. You know that better than anyone, Chi.”
“I guess I do,” she said, smiling faintly, pushing thoughts of Neri away.
“But I could bring a little of home with me,” he said, sliding out and wiping his hands on a rag. “Not just big things like chocolate and Bladerunner, but little things like socket wrenches.”
“You really like fixing things,” Chiana observed. “You’re not just trying to make wormholes or keep your module flying, you actually like it.”
“There’s something satisfying about making something work right. I wanted to fly all my life,” Crichton said, “but I’ve never been happier than just lying on my back, taking my truck apart.”
Chiana could get that. She’d learned how to fix Moya’s systems out of necessity and it would never be her path in life, but there was something good about when she fixed something and it worked.
“I know,” she said in response to what he said.
“And how do you know that?” he asked.
“You told me,” she said, thinking about his younger self. All stormy rebellion and gangly limbs and fresh hopes, very different from this John Crichton, but very much the same. That Crichton had looked at her the way she’d often wished this Crichton would. “On Earth, the first time.”
“Right,” said Crichton, looking at her funny.
“I spent a lot of time with the younger you,” she said casually. “Remember?”
He paused like something had just occurred to him and looked closely at her.
“I remember,” he said and something about the way he said it made her look closely at him.
“You, you really do know, don’t you?” she said, realizing. “About everything.”
“You’re pretty hard to forget, Pip,” he said softly.
“Then you always knew,” she said, wondering if he was mad.
“Naw,” he said. “Pretty sure it didn’t happen that way the first time around. Hell, even if it did, I doubt I would have remembered it the way everyone takes turns in my brain like it’s a ride at Disneyland.”
Chiana understood what he said. She understood him so much better, as did they all, now that they’d been to Earth. She’d been to Disneyland even. She liked cotton candy.
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” she said. “Wrinkles threw so much of her dren at you, I doubt you remember anything.”
“Yeah, timelines are pretty screwy,” he said. “I think I just had to live it again, and then we left earth, carbon monoxide poisoning aside, and I put two and two together.”
“Oh,” Chiana said, not sure how to respond.
How did you talk to the man whose virginity you took as a boy and who thought you were somebody else?
“Not often you’re without words,” said Crichton. “I kinda like it.”
“Aren’t you mad?” asked Chiana, shifting nervously.
“Well, it wasn’t exactly how I planned my first time,” he said. “I’m not thrilled about cheating on my girlfriend either. Guess I’m going to have to live with that guilt now, too.”
“She was a drag,” said Chiana dismissively. She didn’t have much respect for the ridiculous morals humanity seemed to live by. “She wouldn’t have known how to do any of what we did.”
“Not the point,” said Crichton, looking steadily at her. “It wasn’t your decision to make.”
“I’m sorry, okay?” Chiana sighed. “I can’t undo it.”
“Nope,” said Crichton. “I’m not saying the younger me isn’t at fault too or that it wasn’t a good first time, just that you were taking advantage of a teenage boy’s hormones, someone who, even though he didn’t know it, was your friend.”
“So what else is new?” she snapped, using an Earth phrase she was rather fond of, feeling cornered.
“You’re better than that, Chi,” he said.
“Maybe I’m not,” she said, not looking at him, thinking back to Jothee and what she’d done to both him and D’Argo.
Crichton reached over and tilted her chin up to look at him.
“You are,” he said firmly. “You also come from a place with a whole other set of rules and that’s why I’m not holding a grudge. I know it never occurred to you that I might not have wanted to do that if I’d known the truth.”
Chiana felt worse than before and she’d never agreed more with Aeryn than at that moment. Crichton ruined everything. He came into your life and made you rethink everything.
“Promise I won’t do it again,” she said.
“I’ll hold you to it.” He laughed.
She watched him start to put his tools away and struggled with whether or not to ask her next question.
“What do you remember?” she finally asked.
He stilled and then shook his head.
“I’m not having this conversation with you,” he said.
“Fine,” she said quickly, afraid to make him angry after he hadn’t been before.
“Despite nearly dying after,” he said, after a few moments of awkward silence, “it was good.” She smiled, completely satisfied with herself again, mostly since it seemed like he wasn’t mad and she hadn’t wrecked anything. “But don’t get any ideas,” he said, pointing his finger at her.
“I’ve always got ideas,” she said, grinning. “Too bad your head is full of something else.”
“Chiana,” he said warningly.
“I won’t even say it,” she said, “but I don’t get what you’re waiting for.”
“I’m not waiting for anything,” he said.
“You were all for it before,” she persisted.
“That was before a lot of things,” he said. “Things are different now.”
“She wants you, Crichton,” Chiana said, wondering as always if that was the only reason he hadn’t made a move since Aeryn came back. “She frelling wants you.”
“Too bad,” he said, his voice tight and restrained.
Chiana sighed and shook her head. It was clear as anything that no matter how much he wouldn’t discuss it Crichton was still deeply in love with Aeryn Sun, baby or no baby.
“Can I give you some advice?” she asked.
“Can I stop you?” he muttered.
“Don’t wait forever. You’re just making it harder on her and on yourself and one day you’ll regret giving up on the only good thing you ever had.”
He looked at her and smiled gently.
“We talking about you or me, Pip?”
She hated that he could see through her, but she was really offering out of sincerity.
“It’s universally good advice,” she admitted. “For all of us.”
“It’s not too late for you,” he said, holding her hand.
“Or you,” she shot back.
“I give, okay?” he said. “Now, let it go, please?”
She nodded and squeezed his hand. Boy or man, he was her best friend and she’d respect his decision for now even if she thought it was total dren. Crichton had a way of landing on his feet. Rather like her, she realized with a smirk.
“Now that you’re done frelling around, can we watch a movie?” she asked.
“I choose the movie and you make the popcorn,” he said. “It’s the least you can do to make it up to me.”
“For the best afternoon of your life,” she teased.
“I didn’t say that,” he countered. “Let’s not talk about it anymore; gives me the willies anyway.”
“It’s all in the past, right?” she said, her tone light, but she really did want to make sure, one final time.
He rolled his eyes and tugged her after him.
“But you’d met adult ass me first, which means you were in the future and I was in the past.”
“That doesn’t even make sense,” said Chiana.
“Welcome to my life,” said Crichton, smiling at her, and it settled the last qualm of fear and guilt she’d been feeling.
She did still feel bad. Maybe she’d have to think a little bit more in the future, especially if she happened to be in the past.
At least she wasn’t bored anymore.
