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jesterladyficTitle: Give Me Back My Parted Friend
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG
Summary: Kes says farewell to all of her friends.
Disclaimer: I don't own ST: Voyager. Some of the lines are from the show. The title is by Charles Wesley.
Give Me Back My Parted Friend
The Doctor nervously paced sick bay, anxious to hear what was going on, wishing there was something he could do to help. The ship rocked back and forth and there were injuries on their way to him, but the person he really wanted to help was now beyond his reach. Kes was literally dissolving from his life and she was almost everything, his friend and his protégé and the person who had helped him see he was a person too.
Suddenly he straightened, confused. He could hear Kes, she was speaking to him…but he didn’t know how. She was nowhere around and it wasn’t over the com. She’d never been able to communicate telepathically with him before. Was this part of her new powers? Whatever it was, her voice got louder, inside what passed for his mind now, he was sure of it.
Doctor…I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I wanted to thank you, my oldest friend. You’ve taught me so much, given me so much. I will miss you and our talks. Think of me as I will think of you and remember to keep searching for your name. You are so much more than the sum of your subroutines and I don’t want you to forget that. Goodbye, my dearest friend.
The Doctor stood silent for a second before he snapped to attention as the doors to sick bay opened and injured crew members stumbled in.
***
Tom was concentrating all his might on keeping the ship steady. Voyager usually danced like a puppet under his fingers but today she was revolting from his control and he had to fight to keep his mastery. It was a challenge and one he would have normally liked, but there was a sick fear inside of him warring with his enjoyment of the situation. Kes was somewhere on this ship, engaged in her own war, and he was worried about her.
Her voice suddenly felt very near to him and his fingers paused over the panel.
Tom, I’m here to say goodbye. Be strong when I’m gone and remember how much you’ve changed and the people here who love you. Take comfort in B'Elanna and be there for her. You’ve always been a support to me, Tom. I never told you about our future together and it’s impossible now, but just know that in another life, you meant everything to me. Goodbye, my never was.
Tom’s mind raced as he tried to process what he’d just heard until Chakotay’s voice ripped him away and he turned his attention back to controlling the ship.
***
Neelix held on for support in the mess hall, trying to keep himself from running through the ship, anything to find out what was happening and if he could help. He was losing everything today, he knew he was, but the time for him to help was at an end and he needed to accept that. No matter how hard it was.
Kes was all around him, in everything he saw, and he could hear her speaking to him.
Neelix, Neelix, don’t be afraid. I regret nothing about our life together. I’m sorry I have to leave you, I’m sorry I didn’t cherish every moment better. I owe you everything I have and there has never been a time when you held me back. Promise me you’ll remember that. I have a different path, but if I didn’t, it would always be you. Don’t be afraid to move on, to live your life to the full, but keep me in your heart as I will you. I love you so much. Goodbye, my love.
Neelix sank to the floor, tears starting to run down his face as he held on to the last words she would ever say to him.
***
Harry gripped the console as the ship rocked around him. It was hard to keep his eyes on the information, but he was used to it by now. His experiences on Voyager had trained him well for moments like this and he tried not to think about what was behind their current predicament.
Yet, it appeared Kes had other ideas because he could hear her voice inside his mind.
Harry, I have to say goodbye. Thank you for everything. You are a loyal friend, and your optimism has always inspired me to never give up faith. You have so much potential; don’t be afraid to let it grow. I’ve learned from our friendship. Goodbye, my hope.
Harry let his mind wander for a minute, but he didn’t have time to dwell because the Captain’s voice was echoing through the com with instructions.
***
Tuvoc raised his hand and initiated the mind meld, the strain of doing so almost breaking his mind. There was a will and a path in Kes that he had never before seen. He gave her his moderation and control, but he could not maintain the link, so much pressure came from her mind. Beyond the unbearable weight came the words, a message.
Thank you, Tuvoc, for everything. You have been my restraint and my guide, bringing me to this moment. I would not be where I am if it were not for you. Everything you have taught me I will carry with me. I will miss you and our sessions and everything that you are. Don’t ever change, but always be open to the people around you. Goodbye, my mentor.
Tuvoc staggered back from Kes and the Captain dragged her on, leaving Tuvoc holding onto the walls and reeling from his experience.
***
Chakotay bit his lips, praying with all of his might that Kes and Kathryn would make it to the shuttle bay. Any minute now word had to come from Kathryn letting him know they were safe. He didn’t know what would happen, but something needed to. The word that came to him was not from Kathryn but he welcomed it nonetheless.
Commander…Chakotay…it’s time to say goodbye. I want you to know how much you are respected, how well you’ve managed to atone for your mistakes. Don’t worry about your loyalties or about the duty you think those loyalties might break. Your quiet support and leadership have meant the world to me. Trust in yourself and in your people. You will not fail. Goodbye, my strength.
Chakotay blew out a breath and lifted his head, Kathryn’s voice finally coming over the com and letting him know that Kes was outside the ship.
***
B'Elanna worked frantically to contain the structural integrity of the ship. Even though Kes was off the ship, the shuttle’s close proximity was wreaking havoc with Voyager’s hull. The damage of the last few minutes would take weeks to repair, but B'Elanna could handle that, so long as Kes was all right.
They had never been close, but B'Elanna still felt happy to hear Kes inside her mind.
B'Elanna, don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right and so will you. You’re stronger than you think and more loved than you could ever know. Don’t be afraid to let Tom know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to explore who you are. You’ve inspired me more than I would have ever suspected, letting me know how important emotions and inner strength are. Goodbye, my passion.
B'Elanna slowed her actions for a microsecond, afraid and touched all at once.
***
Kathryn stumbled back from the shuttle bay doors and made her way to the bridge. There was nothing more to do now but wait and see what would happen. She would not leave Kes alone until there was no other option. It was more than just Kathryn’s responsibility to all of her crew, Kes had touched her heart, and she loved her, would miss her, and feared for her safety. Whatever was happening was beyond Kathryn’s comprehension and she didn’t much like the feeling.
As she entered the bridge she felt Kes touch her mind.
Captain, you have to let me go. I told you, this isn’t the end. I am becoming who I am meant to be. I owe so much to you and I thank you for everything. We said our goodbyes, but take one final gift from me, a way to help you reach your deepest desire. One final gift from me to you. Goodbye, my Captain.
Then the ship rocketed forward and Kathryn held on for dear life as her crew reported information that didn’t make any sense to her until they finally came to a stop and she found out exactly what Kes had done.
"She's thrown us safely beyond Borg space. Ten years closer to home," Kathryn whispered.
***
It was a small gathering in the mess hall the next day after all the immediate repairs had been done, just the senior staff, the people who had known Kes best. Kathryn stood at the head of the table and grappled to find the right words.
“I know it feels somewhat like this should be a solemn occasion and we’re all feeling a bit lost, but this isn’t a memorial service. Kes isn’t gone; she’s just beyond our reach now. We’re here to celebrate her life and to remember what she meant to us as a friend.” Kathryn paused before wryly smiling and continuing. “I remember when she first came on the ship, so young, but willing to learn. She quickly contributed all of her considerable talents to our cause and was willing and able to learn others, adding to her knowledge and skills with every passing day. She didn’t have a lot of experience but she was never afraid to learn. She taught us about compassion and how to see past our own limited viewpoints. Her demeanor was always calm, but when she felt passionate about something, she let you know it. I know I certainly benefited from her quiet convictions. She helped wherever she was needed and she was never afraid to grow. Her own unique abilities have saved this ship more than once and we will miss her terribly. Personally, I feel our family is the better for having had her on board and will be the worse for her leaving, but she’s left us a legacy and an example to follow and I for one intend to honor that.” Kathryn raised her glass. “So please, everyone, raise your glasses with me as I indulge in an old Earth custom. To Kes.”
“To Kes,” everyone said, drinking.
“You’re all free to come or go,” Kathryn said. “We’re here to talk about our time with Kes, share memories, encourage one another, and enjoy another excellent meal together.”
Kathryn sat back down and took a moment to look around at her officers. Neelix was red-eyed and fidgeting and she knew more tears would likely be in his future and she would make it a point to find something to distract him as soon as she could. The Doctor was unusually quiet, giving tight-lipped smiles whenever anyone addressed him and Kathryn resolved to visit sick bay more often, he would surely be lonely without Kes. Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna were gathered together at the end of the table, somehow closer for the experience, perhaps Tom and B'Elanna even more so, and it warmed her heart to see it. Tuvoc was as expressionless as ever, but Kathryn had become very adept at reading him over the years and she could see this had impacted him more than he would ever admit. Chakotay was by her side, as always, his eyes communicating his concern for her more than for himself, and she appreciated his support more than she could say.
Taking his hand in hers she gave it a quick squeeze before standing up again. Bringing her glass with her over to the window, she looked out to the stars, so far from her home, but so much closer than she had been yesterday. Her task was that much easier and she thanked Kes with all of her heart. Wherever or whatever Kes was, Kathryn wished her well and would keep her in mind always.
by Jesterlady
Rating: PG
Summary: Kes says farewell to all of her friends.
Disclaimer: I don't own ST: Voyager. Some of the lines are from the show. The title is by Charles Wesley.
Give Me Back My Parted Friend
The Doctor nervously paced sick bay, anxious to hear what was going on, wishing there was something he could do to help. The ship rocked back and forth and there were injuries on their way to him, but the person he really wanted to help was now beyond his reach. Kes was literally dissolving from his life and she was almost everything, his friend and his protégé and the person who had helped him see he was a person too.
Suddenly he straightened, confused. He could hear Kes, she was speaking to him…but he didn’t know how. She was nowhere around and it wasn’t over the com. She’d never been able to communicate telepathically with him before. Was this part of her new powers? Whatever it was, her voice got louder, inside what passed for his mind now, he was sure of it.
Doctor…I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye. I wanted to thank you, my oldest friend. You’ve taught me so much, given me so much. I will miss you and our talks. Think of me as I will think of you and remember to keep searching for your name. You are so much more than the sum of your subroutines and I don’t want you to forget that. Goodbye, my dearest friend.
The Doctor stood silent for a second before he snapped to attention as the doors to sick bay opened and injured crew members stumbled in.
***
Tom was concentrating all his might on keeping the ship steady. Voyager usually danced like a puppet under his fingers but today she was revolting from his control and he had to fight to keep his mastery. It was a challenge and one he would have normally liked, but there was a sick fear inside of him warring with his enjoyment of the situation. Kes was somewhere on this ship, engaged in her own war, and he was worried about her.
Her voice suddenly felt very near to him and his fingers paused over the panel.
Tom, I’m here to say goodbye. Be strong when I’m gone and remember how much you’ve changed and the people here who love you. Take comfort in B'Elanna and be there for her. You’ve always been a support to me, Tom. I never told you about our future together and it’s impossible now, but just know that in another life, you meant everything to me. Goodbye, my never was.
Tom’s mind raced as he tried to process what he’d just heard until Chakotay’s voice ripped him away and he turned his attention back to controlling the ship.
***
Neelix held on for support in the mess hall, trying to keep himself from running through the ship, anything to find out what was happening and if he could help. He was losing everything today, he knew he was, but the time for him to help was at an end and he needed to accept that. No matter how hard it was.
Kes was all around him, in everything he saw, and he could hear her speaking to him.
Neelix, Neelix, don’t be afraid. I regret nothing about our life together. I’m sorry I have to leave you, I’m sorry I didn’t cherish every moment better. I owe you everything I have and there has never been a time when you held me back. Promise me you’ll remember that. I have a different path, but if I didn’t, it would always be you. Don’t be afraid to move on, to live your life to the full, but keep me in your heart as I will you. I love you so much. Goodbye, my love.
Neelix sank to the floor, tears starting to run down his face as he held on to the last words she would ever say to him.
***
Harry gripped the console as the ship rocked around him. It was hard to keep his eyes on the information, but he was used to it by now. His experiences on Voyager had trained him well for moments like this and he tried not to think about what was behind their current predicament.
Yet, it appeared Kes had other ideas because he could hear her voice inside his mind.
Harry, I have to say goodbye. Thank you for everything. You are a loyal friend, and your optimism has always inspired me to never give up faith. You have so much potential; don’t be afraid to let it grow. I’ve learned from our friendship. Goodbye, my hope.
Harry let his mind wander for a minute, but he didn’t have time to dwell because the Captain’s voice was echoing through the com with instructions.
***
Tuvoc raised his hand and initiated the mind meld, the strain of doing so almost breaking his mind. There was a will and a path in Kes that he had never before seen. He gave her his moderation and control, but he could not maintain the link, so much pressure came from her mind. Beyond the unbearable weight came the words, a message.
Thank you, Tuvoc, for everything. You have been my restraint and my guide, bringing me to this moment. I would not be where I am if it were not for you. Everything you have taught me I will carry with me. I will miss you and our sessions and everything that you are. Don’t ever change, but always be open to the people around you. Goodbye, my mentor.
Tuvoc staggered back from Kes and the Captain dragged her on, leaving Tuvoc holding onto the walls and reeling from his experience.
***
Chakotay bit his lips, praying with all of his might that Kes and Kathryn would make it to the shuttle bay. Any minute now word had to come from Kathryn letting him know they were safe. He didn’t know what would happen, but something needed to. The word that came to him was not from Kathryn but he welcomed it nonetheless.
Commander…Chakotay…it’s time to say goodbye. I want you to know how much you are respected, how well you’ve managed to atone for your mistakes. Don’t worry about your loyalties or about the duty you think those loyalties might break. Your quiet support and leadership have meant the world to me. Trust in yourself and in your people. You will not fail. Goodbye, my strength.
Chakotay blew out a breath and lifted his head, Kathryn’s voice finally coming over the com and letting him know that Kes was outside the ship.
***
B'Elanna worked frantically to contain the structural integrity of the ship. Even though Kes was off the ship, the shuttle’s close proximity was wreaking havoc with Voyager’s hull. The damage of the last few minutes would take weeks to repair, but B'Elanna could handle that, so long as Kes was all right.
They had never been close, but B'Elanna still felt happy to hear Kes inside her mind.
B'Elanna, don’t worry about me. I’ll be all right and so will you. You’re stronger than you think and more loved than you could ever know. Don’t be afraid to let Tom know how you feel. Don’t be afraid to explore who you are. You’ve inspired me more than I would have ever suspected, letting me know how important emotions and inner strength are. Goodbye, my passion.
B'Elanna slowed her actions for a microsecond, afraid and touched all at once.
***
Kathryn stumbled back from the shuttle bay doors and made her way to the bridge. There was nothing more to do now but wait and see what would happen. She would not leave Kes alone until there was no other option. It was more than just Kathryn’s responsibility to all of her crew, Kes had touched her heart, and she loved her, would miss her, and feared for her safety. Whatever was happening was beyond Kathryn’s comprehension and she didn’t much like the feeling.
As she entered the bridge she felt Kes touch her mind.
Captain, you have to let me go. I told you, this isn’t the end. I am becoming who I am meant to be. I owe so much to you and I thank you for everything. We said our goodbyes, but take one final gift from me, a way to help you reach your deepest desire. One final gift from me to you. Goodbye, my Captain.
Then the ship rocketed forward and Kathryn held on for dear life as her crew reported information that didn’t make any sense to her until they finally came to a stop and she found out exactly what Kes had done.
"She's thrown us safely beyond Borg space. Ten years closer to home," Kathryn whispered.
***
It was a small gathering in the mess hall the next day after all the immediate repairs had been done, just the senior staff, the people who had known Kes best. Kathryn stood at the head of the table and grappled to find the right words.
“I know it feels somewhat like this should be a solemn occasion and we’re all feeling a bit lost, but this isn’t a memorial service. Kes isn’t gone; she’s just beyond our reach now. We’re here to celebrate her life and to remember what she meant to us as a friend.” Kathryn paused before wryly smiling and continuing. “I remember when she first came on the ship, so young, but willing to learn. She quickly contributed all of her considerable talents to our cause and was willing and able to learn others, adding to her knowledge and skills with every passing day. She didn’t have a lot of experience but she was never afraid to learn. She taught us about compassion and how to see past our own limited viewpoints. Her demeanor was always calm, but when she felt passionate about something, she let you know it. I know I certainly benefited from her quiet convictions. She helped wherever she was needed and she was never afraid to grow. Her own unique abilities have saved this ship more than once and we will miss her terribly. Personally, I feel our family is the better for having had her on board and will be the worse for her leaving, but she’s left us a legacy and an example to follow and I for one intend to honor that.” Kathryn raised her glass. “So please, everyone, raise your glasses with me as I indulge in an old Earth custom. To Kes.”
“To Kes,” everyone said, drinking.
“You’re all free to come or go,” Kathryn said. “We’re here to talk about our time with Kes, share memories, encourage one another, and enjoy another excellent meal together.”
Kathryn sat back down and took a moment to look around at her officers. Neelix was red-eyed and fidgeting and she knew more tears would likely be in his future and she would make it a point to find something to distract him as soon as she could. The Doctor was unusually quiet, giving tight-lipped smiles whenever anyone addressed him and Kathryn resolved to visit sick bay more often, he would surely be lonely without Kes. Harry, Tom, and B'Elanna were gathered together at the end of the table, somehow closer for the experience, perhaps Tom and B'Elanna even more so, and it warmed her heart to see it. Tuvoc was as expressionless as ever, but Kathryn had become very adept at reading him over the years and she could see this had impacted him more than he would ever admit. Chakotay was by her side, as always, his eyes communicating his concern for her more than for himself, and she appreciated his support more than she could say.
Taking his hand in hers she gave it a quick squeeze before standing up again. Bringing her glass with her over to the window, she looked out to the stars, so far from her home, but so much closer than she had been yesterday. Her task was that much easier and she thanked Kes with all of her heart. Wherever or whatever Kes was, Kathryn wished her well and would keep her in mind always.
