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Title: When Your Tears Are Spent On Your Last Defense
by Jesterlady
Pairing: Arthur/Gwen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Merlin isn't satisfied with the end of 4x09, Lancelot Du Lac, and resolves to acquit his friends and reunite Arthur and Gwen.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Some lines are from the show. The title is from a song by Marianas Trench.
A/N: I was literally fuming for hours, muttering things under my breath, and snapping at my family. It pissed me off so badly. One of the things that I had loved about the way the show handled the legend was with their telling of the love triangle between Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot. It was obvious Gwen cared for both men, she'd had relationships of a sort with both of them, but never at the same time. There was never a hint of infidelity. I am a hardcore Arwen shipper, but I truly love this version of Lancelot and felt badly for him, but still had nothing to shame the writers for until this episode. At first I was kinda impressed, thinking, 'oh, what a clever way to fit the betrayal into the show without it being an actual betrayal. Merlin will clear it all up and then the only reason we'll think something happened is cause of the distortion of time.' Except no, it didn't happen like that. Gwen was MALIGNED and Lancelot's honor BESMIRCHED! I am so upset about it. No one but Morgana will ever know that Gwen didn't do that of her own free will. Were those her natural feelings? Sure. But she obviously was not giving in to them and didn't have a idea to do so at all. Then I thought that maybe it will all get cleared up in a few episodes, make it suspenseful. And, yeah, they cleared it up, but without ever clearing Gwen's reputation. Both she and Arthur still think she betrayed him. That just makes me so mad. And especially with the little speech he gives Merlin about him not being able to trust her again and I actually thought that was amazing, but the problem is he goes back on it in four episodes, so it meant nothing. If he went back on it because he'd found out she was innocent that would be one thing, but there would have to be a whole lot more between them and time before it would have been right for him to take her back. Not just cause he missed her and was caught up in post-almost death bonding. I could go on about this a lot, but while no one was happier than I when Gwen was finally crowned Queen, I am deeply disappointed in how it happened.
So I had to write this fixing it and it really was just meant to be a little thing that got Merlin off his ass and fixing things like he's supposed to but then all of a sudden I got to implicate Agravaine and then magic came up and I swear Gwen found out about Merlin without me even knowing how. So, I hope you enjoy.
Part One
Part Two:
Gaius joined them on their way there looking at Merlin with a raised eyebrow. Merlin mouthed a ‘what’ to him behind Arthur’s back, but Gaius simply shook his head.
Only Arthur’s most trusted knights were in the throne room when Lancelot was brought in and Merlin just closed his eyes and kept praying that Agravaine wouldn’t return.
Merlin could see the effort with which Lancelot used to keep walking steadily forward and how relieved he was to sink to his knees before Arthur. Moments later, Gwen was escorted in. She looked inquiringly at Merlin who smiled his most reassuring smile at her before she too sank to her knees before Arthur. Elyan took a step toward her before Leon stopped him with a hand to his chest.
“Get up,” Arthur said dangerously to Gwen. “I already told you I won’t have you kneeling to me.”
She got to her feet and stood resolutely, tears slowly making their way down her already tear-stained face, but she made no sound.
Arthur turned away from her.
“New evidence has been brought to light concerning your crime. Gaius, if you will proceed.”
“Sire, I believe we can prove that this is not the Lancelot we all know, but instead a Shade, a shadow of his former self, controlled by magic.”
Gwen started and looked with horror at the man kneeling beside her.
“Why would you think this man is anything other than what he claims to be?” Arthur asked, pacing and looking, Merlin thought with some trepidation, not unlike Uther.
“Because, my lord, this man was dead. When he returned his story was too fantastical given the circumstances of his death. His behavior was unlike what it had been previously and he had forgotten things he’d once known. Merlin and I researched the probable causes. We were too late to prevent the crime that occurred, but we believe with reasonable assurance that this man is a Shade. If you will allow us, we would like to perform an experiment to prove this.”
“Proceed,” Arthur said with the air of a man indulging a favorite child.
Gaius nodded to Merlin and brought out the bag of salt.
“Salt is a cleansing agent, Sire. It has the ability to cut off magical ties. We shall surround Lancelot with a circle of salt and this should reveal him as he truly is.”
Gaius made a face at Merlin and slowly shook the salt out into a circle around Lancelot who was very pale. Merlin hoped he could last to play his part.
Merlin turned his face away from those present and breathed out words of the Old Religion, picturing the image of the Shade as he had seen it before when he’d performed the true test.
A collective gasp went up from those in the room and Merlin turned back to see Lancelot shimmering with the glamour he’d placed on him.
Gwen stumbled away from him and Arthur moved to catch her before he stopped himself abruptly and Elyan did it instead. Gwen stood with her hands grasping Elyan's arm, his arm around her waist supporting her. She looked at Merlin with mute appeal, but he didn't know how to reassure her.
“What can be done to right this wrong done to my knight?” Arthur asked after an uncomfortable silence settled over the room.
“You can do nothing,” Lancelot said, struggling to his feet and Merlin applauded his improvisation. “I belong to the Lady Morgana and do her will only.”
“What proof have you of this?”
“The proof of my existence and the devotion I have in my heart,” Lancelot said defiantly.
“My lord, if you will allow,” Merlin said, moving forward. Arthur nodded suspiciously. “I saw him with a letter he was going to use to kill himself; I present it to you now for inspection, but be careful of the seal for it is poisonous.”
"This would have been helpful to know beforehand," he hissed at Merlin, but Arthur took the letter and read its contents before handing it to his knights to review.
“This would indeed seem to prove Morgana’s hand in this matter and the true Lancelot’s innocence. But that does not explain why nor does it cleanse away the guilt from the other offender or help to restore Lancelot to himself.”
“I have told you my suspicions and presented my proof concerning Gwen, my lord,” Merlin said, “and I can only believe Morgana did this because she wanted to prevent your marriage. But Gaius and I believe we have a way to not only prove Gwen’s innocence but break the spell over Lancelot.”
“Gaius?” Arthur asked, turning to him.
Gaius looked helplessly at Merlin before turning to Arthur, holding up the book he'd brought with him..
“Merlin suspected Gwen of being enchanted by a bracelet presented to her by the Shade of Lancelot. When he brought it to me I recognized it from this text as the…the…” Gaius glared at Merlin before continuing, “the Bracelet of Amorous Intentions. It is an ancient artifact designed to arouse strong and overwhelming feelings of love and devotion toward the giver of the bracelet to whom it has been magically bound through rituals of dark magic. Once wearing the bracelet a person has no choice but to follow those feelings. This device is insidious most especially because it enhances natural emotion and corrupts it to what amounts to slavery.”
Gwen looked up, as if in hope, her face brighter than it had been, Merlin smiled at her again, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at Arthur.
Arthur looked at Gwen and there was a long moment between them, almost a silent conversation, before Gwen's face darkened and Arthur turned his face away quickly.
“I have experienced this bracelet myself and can testify to its power," he said, his voice husky. "How can its enchantment be broken?”
“Um, it…uh…?” Gaius said, looking to Merlin and raising his eyebrow.
Merlin made an exploding motion with his hands.
“Destroy it,” Gaius said, sounding more like he was asking a question. “With…fire, my lord.”
“Bring a brazier,” Arthur said, looking askance at Gaius and Merlin.
There was an awkward silence in the room as they waited for the fire.
“Sire, you realize my understanding of this matter is theoretical, I trust. You must know this is not magic I am doing,” Gaius said.
“Relieve yourself of any worry of punishment, Gaius,” Arthur said. “We know you are no longer a sorcerer. You are indeed our greatest weapon in the fight against evil enchantments.”
Merlin looked closely at Arthur for using that particular phrasing. Could it be Arthur was once again starting to think of magic itself as simply a force and understanding it was the choices of the wielder that made it either good or evil?
The brazier was set up and Merlin glanced worriedly at Lancelot who looked like he would collapse at any second, he was sweating and shaking. He didn’t seem like he could make it to the end of their charade.
He whispered.
“Ic pe purhhaele pin licsare. Ic pe purhhaele pin licsare.”
The words of strength and healing flowed out of him and he saw Lancelot stand stronger and look back at him. Merlin smiled encouragingly and tried to communicate with his eyes his intentions.
He glanced around quickly and saw Gwen giving him a strange look, but he didn't think she had seen. He hoped anyway. He nodded to her and she slowly nodded back. Merlin couldn't wait to get this over with; he had never felt so on display before.
“We must throw the bracelet in the fire and it should return Lancelot to his former self and destroy any lingering effects of magic upon Gwen,” Gaius said, sprinkling salt in the fire. “The salt will counteract the magic and enable the flames to melt metal already tested by fire.”
Merlin tried to hide a smile at the disgust in his mentor’s voice at the ludicrous things he was saying. Any true sorcerer would understand immediately they were lying.
Arthur held out his hand over the fire for a moment or two, his hand shaking as if he couldn’t decide he wanted to do this or not, but he finally dropped it in. Merlin stepped behind Gaius and whispered low in his throat, trying to hide his actions and the necessary volume of his voice. Gaius appeared to have a coughing fit just at that moment and Merlin mentally thanked him.
The fire sparked up high and there was a loud rumbling sound and the metal, though it would not ordinarily be destroyed in such a way, melted under the power of his magic.
Merlin felt drained, like he could sleep for a month after all the magic he’d used today but it was not over yet. He could only hope Lancelot had the strength and wit to do what needed to be done next.
Lancelot did not fail him but convulsed violently and fell to the floor and if Merlin didn’t know better he’d think that the man was being released from some sort of magic. Then he rolled over and slowly got onto his knees again, though he was obviously fading fast.
“My lord, forgive me,” he said, panting.
Arthur knelt before him.
“It was not your fault, Lancelot. Can you tell us how this happened?”
“I am not entirely clear on the details,” Lancelot rasped out. “I remember going into the veil and then I remember waking in a lake with Morgana in front of me. She took me to a hut and gave me food and clothing. She spoke to me, instructing me. She told me how to think and I…believed her. When she deemed the time appropriate she gave me into the care of her follower and he entered me in the tournament so I could make my return. Her follower gave me instructions from her and arranged for you to discover myself and…Guinevere.”
“This follower?” Arthur asked, ignoring Lancelot's pause. “Who was it?”
Lancelot hesitated and Merlin’s heart beat fast for he hardly dared hope this would be the moment that Agravaine’s true loyalties would be revealed. That hadn't even entered into his thoughts when he'd begun this crazy venture. But Lancelot was giving him a gift beyond Merlin's wildest dreams if Arthur would only listen.
“It was…it was Agravaine, Sire. It was your uncle.”
Arthur stood up so fast he nearly toppled over and turned away. All the knights stirred and murmured to themselves. Gwen sighed, long and loud, as if many things were suddenly made clear to her. Only Gaius and Merlin were unmoved.
“You must be mistaken,” Arthur said in a strangled voice.
“I am sorry, Sire, but I cannot be.”
“Sire,” Merlin said, daring to move forward, “when I visited Lancelot in his cell I saw Agravaine leaving it and then leaving the castle.”
Arthur shot him an anguished look and Merlin would have given anything to not have to do this to his best friend. To make him have to see that one more and his last family member was a traitor.
“Why?” Arthur shot out, turning back to Lancelot. “Do you know why?”
“Only that he wanted your downfall in revenge for his sister’s death. He spoke of it on our journey to Camelot. It was he who gave me the letter instructing me to kill myself. I am- I am sorry.”
Lancelot let out a strangled sound and faltered and Merlin knew the last of his healing spells were leaving and the inevitable was about to happen. He dived forward and caught Lancelot as he fell.
“Gaius, what is happening?” Arthur asked, looking astounded.
“I fear that breaking the hold of the magic that bound him to this earth is correcting the aberrance that brought him here. He is dying.”
“My friend, you have saved me again,” Lancelot said to Merlin and turned his face toward Gwen who was watching these proceedings with a fascinated horror. “Forgive me,” he asked her and then looked to Arthur. “Forgive me.”
Gwen fell to her knees beside him as Arthur also knelt. The knights gathered round, looking anxious at the second fall of one of their brothers.
“You are blameless and the truest knight of all,” Arthur said, his anger seemingly forgotten with grief. “Rest in peace, Sir Lancelot.”
“Forgive me,” Gwen said to him, tears filling her eyes anew, but she did not move to touch him.
“There is…nothing to f-forgive,” Lancelot said and his eyes closed, his breath almost gone.
“Gaius, can nothing be done?” Gwen asked.
“I’m afraid not, Gwen,” Gaius said gently.
“This is all my fault,” she said, backing away from Lancelot’s body, now completely still. “I am to blame.”
“Guinevere,” Arthur said, his voice breaking, and she turned wide eyes on him.
Something in his face must have convinced her it was all right because she launched herself into his arms and he almost fell over.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she said, crying heavily now. “I thought I had betrayed you, I thought I’d done it.”
“I am sorry,” he said, clutching her to him in full presence of all his knights. Merlin supposed the two of them had forgotten anyone else was there. “I doubted you.”
“You saw me, of course you did,” she said.
He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.
“Forgive me, I felt so angry. I have never been so angry.”
“You had every right to be angry,” she said, kissing him.
He kissed her back and the knights turned away, giving them some privacy. Merlin smiled though he also cried, sitting there with Lancelot’s body in his lap.
"I cannot bear to think of what I said to you," Arthur murmured against her lips.
"I cannot even recall the words," she said, smiling through her tears, "and if I had done that of my own free will, which we both thought- I would have deserved every word."
"No, there is always room for mercy in the heart of a King," he said, brushing the tears from her face. "You taught me that."
"You did show me mercy by not taking my head," she said, leaning her cheek into his hands. It was as if they could not stop touching each other for fear the other would vanish. "More mercy than any other would have done."
Merlin couldn’t look away even though Gaius was nudging him to.
"You deserved much more," Arthur said softly. "I wish I had…but now we will never know that pain again. It hurt- it was very hard to walk out that door."
"I wanted to die as you left," she said, leaning her forehead against his again.
“I love you, Guinevere,” Arthur whispered. “I love you. Will you be my wife?”
“Yes,” she said, “yes, with all my heart. I have never wanted anything else and I never will. I’d wait many more years for the chance.”
“You will only wait a day,” Arthur promised her. “You will be my Queen.”
“Is there any doubt in your heart that I love you?” she asked him, holding his head in her hands, searching his eyes.
Arthur looked at Gwen and slowly smiled. He kissed her cheek, he kissed her forehead, kissed her eyelid, then the corner of her mouth.
“None whatever,” he said and kissed her again.
Gwen’s face was beautiful in its happiness as he kissed her.
“And I will make sure you need never doubt again,” she said.
The two of them were happy for a few more moments before they had to be interrupted by the less than happy results of the trial. Lancelot’s body was carried away by his fellow knights save Elyan who was embracing his sister.
“He must receive a proper burial and tribute this time,” Arthur said, instructing his men. Gwaine nodded and the men left, bearing their fallen comrade. Arthur turned to Elyan and sighed. “Elyan, have guards arrest Lord Agravaine as soon as he returns to Camelot. Bring him here.”
“Yes, my lord,” Elyan said, leaving.
“Guinevere, I do not want you to be here for this,” Arthur said, rubbing her shoulders. “You are tired and spent the night mainly in the cells. Please, go and rest. Merlin, take her to my room. I will come and see you as soon as I have dealt with my uncle.”
“I do not want to leave you,” she said.
“I do not want you to,” he said, lifting her chin, “but I do not want him to say anything against you. This is something I must- I must do alone.”
"You are never alone, Arthur," she promised him.
"Thank you," he said, pressing one last, light kiss on her lips.
She nodded and then kissed his cheek one more time before leaving. Merlin walked after her, but they had barely gone outside the room when she hugged him.
“Thank you, Merlin. This is all your doing.”
“I had to try,” he said, hugging her back and trying not to think about what it would have been like in Camelot without her.
"I cannot believe the change only a few hours can bring," she said. "I am forever in your doubt."
"Arthur would have come around," Merlin said confidently.
She shook her head.
"It is the goodness in him that would not have allowed it, I think. Perhaps, in time, he could have forgiven me. He certainly would not have stopped loving me, but I doubt he could trust me again. And that is not the way of a proper marriage or the example a King and Queen must set. And Arthur is King above all else."
Merlin looked at her in wonder. If he thought about it, he would say the same about Arthur. They each knew their sovereign too well. But Gwen's gracious acceptance of such a course, one that would leave her out in the cold, was what truly made her Arthur's equal and perhaps better, made her fit to be Queen.
"I am glad, my lady, it did not come to that," he said, bowing to her.
She blushed and pushed at him.
“I just wish it hadn’t been Lancelot,” she said, her voice sorrowful, as they started walking again. “Such a dishonor for him and such a cruelty to Arthur.”
“It’s over now,” Merlin told her, "and Lancelot's honor is restored."
“I think you had more to do with it than you’re telling,” she said slowly, watching him closely.
He put on his Clueless Merlin Face and looked at her inquisitively.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Meaning I think you’re wonderful and I don’t care and I understand why,” she said, before walking off, leaving him dumbfounded, slightly worried, and awed.
"Gwen?" he asked, catching up to her a few minutes later.
"Not a word, Merlin," she said, putting a finger to his lips. "We are friends and friends understand one another. I do not want to be in a position that makes me lie to Arthur and I know you do not want that either. Just know that despite the evils I have seen, if even half of what I suspect is true, the good far outweighs it. One day I hope the three of us will talk."
"Thank you," Merlin said, tears coming to his eyes.
He tried to convey the full emotions he was feeling in those two words. He couldn't possibly make her understand what her acceptance meant to him and what her forbearance did for him.
"You had better get back to him," Gwen told him knowingly. "He will have need of you, I think."
"You too. After," he said.
He saw her safely into Arthur’s room and fetched a maid to attend to her before making his way back to Arthur. Arthur may want to do this alone, but Merlin didn’t see any point in starting to obey him now.
Still, Agravaine was already there when Merlin came back and it was obviously the tail end of the conversation. One Agravaine hadn’t been able to bluff his way out of.
“Why, Uncle? I know you did not love my father, but-”
“I did more than loathe your father, I detested everything he stood for,” Agravaine said and Merlin marveled at the change in the oily, preening way he usually addressed Arthur. “I rejoiced at the opportunity to put an end to him and I did. I placed the instrument of destruction around his neck and rejoiced that I could do the same to you.”
Arthur frowned in confusion.
“What do you mean, the instrument of his destruction?”
“Did you not wonder why the healing spell didn’t work?” Agravaine asked venomously. “Or did you just jump to the automatic conclusion magic was to blame? Well, you were right. But it was the spell already in place on Uther that I put there that made him die and I am glad to take the credit now.”
Merlin considered this the best news he’d heard all day. Maybe the horror of that moment could finally be washed from his mind.
Arthur just looked broken and he turned away from Agravaine.
"And you refuse to reveal to us Morgana's location?"
"I will never betray her!" Agravaine said. "Hers is the only crown I will bow to."
Arthur looked at Merlin and Merlin's heart ached at the pain he could see etched on his friend's face.
Arthur spoke quietly, not looking at his uncle.
“So be it, Uncle. You have confessed and been found guilty of both murder and treason. I sentence you to death.”
Agravaine was pulled screaming from the throne room while Arthur turned to watch resolutely and Merlin approached Arthur cautiously.
“My lord.”
“You knew,” Arthur said, without turning around. “You knew he was doing this.”
“I could not prove it,” Merlin said softly.
“And he was the one, the one who killed my father… How could that be?”
“Gaius and I did find a necklace on Uther’s body. It was a symbol of the Old Religion. We found it odd, but how could we say anything?”
“But if it might have had something to do with his death, how could you not?” Arthur asked, his voice anguished.
“You were very angry then, my lord. And we could prove nothing.”
Arthur simply nodded and Merlin thought that it would be some time before the wounds that had been re-opened, closed again. Yet he was surprised at Arthur's next words.
“Then the old man, the sorcerer, he wasn’t to blame. Not really.”
“I do not think so,” Merlin said, trying to keep the eagerness from his voice. “I believe he only truly wanted to help.”
Arthur looked at him then and Merlin wanted to take a step back at the passion in his eyes.
“I believed him, Merlin, oh, I believed him. If you had seen the look on his face, the emotion when he spoke about magic users being free to live their lives, when he talked about magic being used for good, you would have believed him too.”
“But then you thought he was responsible.”
“Since he was not I must…think about keeping my promise. I must reconsider…everything.”
“I think that will be wise,” Merlin said, hardly daring to believe it, joy threatening to overwhelm him.
Arthur's shoulders slumped as if he had been avoiding a problem and could no longer.
“I shouldn’t have let Agravaine talk me out of suspecting him when I confronted him about betraying our route. He tried to blame Gaius. And when Gaius was kidnapped, that must have been him; he kept pushing me to suspect him. And Gwaine said that he was holding a knife over Gaius when he found him. I let him interrogate Gaius like a common criminal. I have been a fool.”
“Only a man who trusts his family,” Merlin said.
“Then why does this keep happening to me?” Arthur asked, starting to pace. “Is there something about me that makes the people I love want to hurt me?”
“No!” Merlin said fiercely. “You cannot blame yourself for their decisions. Morgana and Agravaine became twisted by their hatred for Uther. You are not your father, you are not to be held responsible for his actions and decisions.”
“But why include me in their hatred for him? Why love me to my face and twist knives in my back? Why can I not see when someone is lying to me?”
Merlin ignored the guilt stabbing through his heart and held out his hands.
“Arthur, you rule with your heart. That is what makes you a better King than your father. That is what sets you apart and makes the people of this land love you. But it also means you treasure the people around you and if they choose to take advantage of that, it simply means you need to be wise and open your eyes a bit more, maybe…listen when people tell you things.”
Arthur barked out a sharp laugh and rolled his eyes.
“You mean, listen to you more.”
“Well…” Merlin said, and pretended to think about it, “I wouldn’t say that, no, no, yes, I would.” Arthur’s mouth quirked up slightly and Merlin became serious again. “I can’t advise you in this, not really. No one is perfect; everyone has the potential to fall. But you can do only do your best, keep your mind open, and not be afraid.”
“Merlin, you’re having one of those rare – very rare, mind you – moments when you’re being wise, aren’t you?”
“Maybe,” Merlin said. “I just think that sometimes people lie to hurt you, sometimes they lie to protect you, sometimes destiny controls us more than we’d like. Some, like yours, have been written. I know the great King you will become. It may not seem like it now; there may be dark days ahead. More people will fail you, even if they do not mean to. But it is not all bad, it will get better. You will learn to see more clearly and not everything will be so confusing. I promise that some day you’ll understand all this. When you have fulfilled your destiny. And I’ll be at your side until you do.”
There was a moment of silence as Arthur drank it all in.
“What a horrible thought,” he said finally.
Merlin grinned.
“Sickens me a bit too,” he said.
“Well, come on then,” Arthur said. “You’ve got preparations to make.”
Merlin started to follow before he stopped.
"What do you mean 'you've?' "
It turned out that most of the wedding had already been set up and not yet taken down. But there was still a lot to do before the day was over.
Merlin spent much of the next few hours running errands and washing clothes and being more of a servant than a warlock, more of a minion than an advisor, but that was okay. He felt tired and used up and emotionally drained after everything that had happened.
He finally dropped into his bed late into the night and slept the sleep of the very tired before he got up way too early to greet the next day.
Three things happened that day and each was emotional and unique in its execution.
The first thing that happened was Lancelot’s funeral. It was a solemn occasion. The only people present were Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, Gaius, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and Elyan. They traveled by horse to the lake.
They laid Lancelot's body in a boat and Arthur placed the new sword and cape he’d given to him on his breast. The King stepped back and Merlin rested his hand on Lancelot’s forehead, whispering an ancient blessing. For an instant Lancelot’s skin was warm under his touch and then he turned cold again. Merlin and Gwaine shoved the boat into the water and stepped back to where Arthur and Gwen were holding onto each other. If either of them was uncomfortable at the idea of being at the funeral of a man who had almost divided them, albeit unintentionally, they did not show it; instead they appeared to be united in their grief.
Percival raised his bow and shot a flaming arrow toward the boat. It rose in a graceful arc and Merlin used a little magic to nudge it to land right at the head of the boat where it would cause the boat to instantly burst into flame instead of taking time. Lancelot sailed to his final resting place and Merlin could only be glad that the noblest man he’d ever met was redeemed before the end.
They stood for awhile on the shore before slowly trailing away. Gwen and Arthur went back first, hands tightly wound together. Merlin stayed the longest, eyes blinking fast against the tears that threatened to fall.
The second thing that happened was Agravaine’s execution. That was a slightly larger affair as Arthur had to explain to the people what had happened. He made a halting speech full of heartfelt regret and Merlin could see how moved the people were, more for their King’s grief than for any affection for Agravaine. Agravaine himself was completely transformed, as if the evil that had always lingered beneath the surface of his diplomatic words and careful flattery had exploded into the light for all to see. He spat obscenities at any who looked on him and cursed Arthur’s name with his last breath.
Arthur looked on, face hard as flint, while Gwen stood bravely at his side and Merlin could see him clutching her hand tightly.
Agravaine’s head rolled to the ground and though Merlin felt sick at the sight of it he could not help but be glad that the toxic advice giver under the thrall of Morgana’s evil was now gone forever.
No one lingered on such a scene, but all hastened to their duties and preparations.
The third thing that happened was a wedding and a coronation. It was far far better than the other two events.
Merlin helped a suddenly panicking Arthur get ready and endured a mountain of verbal lashing as Arthur worried about where his ceremonial sword was, and was that a hole in his shirt, and did Merlin know where on earth the knights had got to?
Merlin endured it all with patience and humor because he was so happy he didn’t have time to be upset. It was his great honor to stand in his best clothes in the front row of the great hall and watch Guinevere and Arthur be joined together.
Geoffrey stood before them and spoke.
“My lords and ladies of Camelot, we are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient rite of hand-fasting, the union of Arthur Pendragon and Guinevere of Camelot. Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?”
Arthur’s face was calm and happy.
“It is.”
Is it your wish, Guinevere, to become one with this man?”
“It is,” Gwen said emphatically.
Merlin was the happiest he’d ever been watching the rest of the ritual and then seeing Arthur kiss his new bride and present her before the court. It was a good day. A day that saved the love of his two best friends, allowed him to say goodbye honorably to another one, to rid the kingdom of an evil conspiring against it, and to plant the seed of hope for all magic in Arthur’s heart and mind.
The beautiful words of the ceremony rolled over the hall and it seemed brighter in that moment than Merlin had ever seen it before. In it was all the love and trials shared by the two being joined, all their patience and loyalty that now merged to become a beacon of hope for everyone in Camelot.
But that was not all that moment held for though the two were man and wife, the stage was quickly set for the coronation to make Gwen Queen of Camelot.
She exited and Arthur’s crown was placed upon his head. Gwen entered again, walking down the long aisle, and knelt before her King on the dais. Geoffrey approached with a crown on a pillow. Arthur took the crown from him and held it over her head.
“By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you, Guinevere, Queen of Camelot.”
He placed the crown upon her head and then raised her to her feet. They exchanged a kiss and Merlin’s grin was so broad it nearly split his face. Arthur turned his Queen to meet her subjects, holding onto her hand, he stepped slightly behind her.
“Long live the Queen!” he proclaimed.
The shout was taken up by every person in the hall, the largest gathering of the day so far. Merlin himself could barely speak a word until he’d heard everyone else speak the phrase three or four times. Then he joined in with devotion and meaning in every syllable.
“Long live the Queen!”
Then they rejoiced and there was dancing and ale and good food and Merlin was kept hopping with Arthur wandering here, there, and everywhere, visiting everyone in the hall while Merlin tried to keep his lord plied with food and drink.
The knights kept calling for him to join in their merriment and ribbing of Elyan for being the Queen’s brother but he didn’t have the time.
Merlin would have liked nothing better than to fall in bed and sleep for a long while after the celebration had ended but instead he was hurrying about Arthur’s room, making sure the bed was perfect and that there were flowers on every surface and Arthur’s hair was combed in just the right way.
Merlin’s destiny was a very hard one at times, he thought to himself while he caught the fifth shirt flung at him by Arthur.
“Arthur, you’re acting like a little boy meeting her for the first time, what is the problem?”
“Merlin, I’m fairly sure you’ve never been able to even look a woman in the face before so there’s no way you’d understand.”
“Who’s had the time while dancing to your pipe, my lord?” Merlin said, bending down to pick up more clothing and shoving thoughts of half-remembered kisses and embraces in a low-lit tunnel with someone long dead out of his mind.
“I’ll just have to do it for the both of us then, shan’t I?” Arthur said. “Now pick all that up before she gets here!”
“Honestly, you’ve seen her before, she’s cleaned this room countless times, it’s not like there’s that much mystery left. Don’t I recall a certain time when you stepped out for a bath and-“
“Not one more word,” Arthur said viciously, holding his finger about an inch from Merlin’s nose. “That was different. This is our wedding night, Merlin, try to muster up some decorum.”
“Decorum?” Merlin asked, trying to keep a straight face.
“Yes, decorum, respect…feudality.”
“I’m not quite sure you know what that last word is, Arthur.”
Arthur rolled his eyes.
“I’ll be happy to teach you the meaning, but later. Much later if I have anything to say about it.”
“Honestly, my lord, this blushing act is…adorable, really, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If there’s anything this whole situation has taught us, it’s that Gwen loves you.”
Arthur dropped to his bed.
“I know that, Merlin, but so many awful things happened yesterday. And in the past. The things I said to her, the things she’s endured at my hand and my father’s, the long wait. I don’t want the end of the wait to be anything but perfect.”
Merlin swallowed a smile and set his face in a sober expression.
“I’m sure you’re up for the job, Sire. And you know that no matter what, all Gwen wants is to be with you. You can’t change the past, all you can do is make a better future. That’s your destiny, Arthur.”
“Would you stop using that word? I honestly don’t think I can take any more pithy sayings from you today, Merlin,” Arthur said.
“Shall we go back to you trying on clothes like girls at the market?” Merlin suggested.
Arthur lunged for him and Merlin backed away, tripping over the rug, causing both him and Arthur to fall. Arthur got his arm around Merlin in a headlock and they didn’t hear the tentative knock on the door.
A sound like the clearing of a throat interrupted them and they both looked up, Merlin gasping for air, and Arthur shirtless and laughing, at Gwen standing above them with an amused expression on her face.
“Shall I come back?” she asked, quiet humor in her voice.
“No, no, no,” Arthur said, jumping up. Merlin collapsed back on the floor. “Merlin was just leaving, weren’t you, Merlin?”
“Absolutely dying to do so,” Merlin said, struggling to his feet.
Gwen steadied him and he averted his eyes from her dressing gown.
Arthur appeared to have been struck dumb looking at her and Merlin couldn’t blame him.
“Goodnight, Merlin,” she whispered, a blush spreading over her face as Arthur looked her up and down.
“Goodnight, and good luck,” he said, “Arthur’s been preparing for hours.”
He ducked instinctively and missed the pillow flung at his head.
He turned as he closed the door behind him and his last view was of Arthur pulling Gwen into his arms and kissing her neck. When the doors closed he could hear a low chuckle and a high gasping sound and he beat his retreat hastily.
When he got back to his room Gaius looked up from his potions.
“Not a bad day, Merlin.”
“No, Gaius, not a bad one at all,” Merlin said. “But I’m pretty sure I need to sleep for a week after all the magic I've used lately. If I’m lucky Arthur will be occupied just long enough to give me a break.”
“Go to bed, Merlin,” Gaius said, shaking his head indulgently. “Tomorrow you may be needed again.”
Merlin grinned at him and grabbed a piece of bread on his way up to his room. Flinging himself on his bed, he slowly ate, contemplating everything that had happened.
Things were right in a way that they hadn't been in a long time. He felt a renewed grief over Lancelot and worry over Morgana and what she would do next. He felt like he should have been better prepared for her. But Agravaine was now gone and, though he worried about how Arthur was going to deal with that, he knew that having Gwen at his side would be the best cure for Arthur. And they were finally married. Merlin had to smile at the thought. It had been so long.
And Gwen knew about him. She'd figured it out somehow. Though with the amount of magic he'd used, he was surprised everyone in the hall didn't know about him now. Merlin found he didn't mind Gwen knowing, though he was pretty sure Gaius would be horrified when he told him. But Gwen was his true friend, and it was a bit like Lancelot knowing, almost like Lancelot's dying had bequeathed the knowledge to her somehow. And it brought Merlin that one step closer to feeling confident it was the time to tell Arthur.
It would be soon. Very soon. He felt a slight trepidation at the thought as he always did when he thought about it, but this time there was more hope than ever before. He could not keep the secret much longer without truly betraying Arthur's trust in him anyway. Now that Uther was dead and Arthur was a bit more understanding of magic, Merlin felt very hopeful indeed. In fact he was feeling better about, oh, everything, than in a long time.
by Jesterlady
Pairing: Arthur/Gwen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Merlin isn't satisfied with the end of 4x09, Lancelot Du Lac, and resolves to acquit his friends and reunite Arthur and Gwen.
Disclaimer: I don't own Merlin. Some lines are from the show. The title is from a song by Marianas Trench.
A/N: I was literally fuming for hours, muttering things under my breath, and snapping at my family. It pissed me off so badly. One of the things that I had loved about the way the show handled the legend was with their telling of the love triangle between Arthur/Guinevere/Lancelot. It was obvious Gwen cared for both men, she'd had relationships of a sort with both of them, but never at the same time. There was never a hint of infidelity. I am a hardcore Arwen shipper, but I truly love this version of Lancelot and felt badly for him, but still had nothing to shame the writers for until this episode. At first I was kinda impressed, thinking, 'oh, what a clever way to fit the betrayal into the show without it being an actual betrayal. Merlin will clear it all up and then the only reason we'll think something happened is cause of the distortion of time.' Except no, it didn't happen like that. Gwen was MALIGNED and Lancelot's honor BESMIRCHED! I am so upset about it. No one but Morgana will ever know that Gwen didn't do that of her own free will. Were those her natural feelings? Sure. But she obviously was not giving in to them and didn't have a idea to do so at all. Then I thought that maybe it will all get cleared up in a few episodes, make it suspenseful. And, yeah, they cleared it up, but without ever clearing Gwen's reputation. Both she and Arthur still think she betrayed him. That just makes me so mad. And especially with the little speech he gives Merlin about him not being able to trust her again and I actually thought that was amazing, but the problem is he goes back on it in four episodes, so it meant nothing. If he went back on it because he'd found out she was innocent that would be one thing, but there would have to be a whole lot more between them and time before it would have been right for him to take her back. Not just cause he missed her and was caught up in post-almost death bonding. I could go on about this a lot, but while no one was happier than I when Gwen was finally crowned Queen, I am deeply disappointed in how it happened.
So I had to write this fixing it and it really was just meant to be a little thing that got Merlin off his ass and fixing things like he's supposed to but then all of a sudden I got to implicate Agravaine and then magic came up and I swear Gwen found out about Merlin without me even knowing how. So, I hope you enjoy.
Part One
Part Two:
Gaius joined them on their way there looking at Merlin with a raised eyebrow. Merlin mouthed a ‘what’ to him behind Arthur’s back, but Gaius simply shook his head.
Only Arthur’s most trusted knights were in the throne room when Lancelot was brought in and Merlin just closed his eyes and kept praying that Agravaine wouldn’t return.
Merlin could see the effort with which Lancelot used to keep walking steadily forward and how relieved he was to sink to his knees before Arthur. Moments later, Gwen was escorted in. She looked inquiringly at Merlin who smiled his most reassuring smile at her before she too sank to her knees before Arthur. Elyan took a step toward her before Leon stopped him with a hand to his chest.
“Get up,” Arthur said dangerously to Gwen. “I already told you I won’t have you kneeling to me.”
She got to her feet and stood resolutely, tears slowly making their way down her already tear-stained face, but she made no sound.
Arthur turned away from her.
“New evidence has been brought to light concerning your crime. Gaius, if you will proceed.”
“Sire, I believe we can prove that this is not the Lancelot we all know, but instead a Shade, a shadow of his former self, controlled by magic.”
Gwen started and looked with horror at the man kneeling beside her.
“Why would you think this man is anything other than what he claims to be?” Arthur asked, pacing and looking, Merlin thought with some trepidation, not unlike Uther.
“Because, my lord, this man was dead. When he returned his story was too fantastical given the circumstances of his death. His behavior was unlike what it had been previously and he had forgotten things he’d once known. Merlin and I researched the probable causes. We were too late to prevent the crime that occurred, but we believe with reasonable assurance that this man is a Shade. If you will allow us, we would like to perform an experiment to prove this.”
“Proceed,” Arthur said with the air of a man indulging a favorite child.
Gaius nodded to Merlin and brought out the bag of salt.
“Salt is a cleansing agent, Sire. It has the ability to cut off magical ties. We shall surround Lancelot with a circle of salt and this should reveal him as he truly is.”
Gaius made a face at Merlin and slowly shook the salt out into a circle around Lancelot who was very pale. Merlin hoped he could last to play his part.
Merlin turned his face away from those present and breathed out words of the Old Religion, picturing the image of the Shade as he had seen it before when he’d performed the true test.
A collective gasp went up from those in the room and Merlin turned back to see Lancelot shimmering with the glamour he’d placed on him.
Gwen stumbled away from him and Arthur moved to catch her before he stopped himself abruptly and Elyan did it instead. Gwen stood with her hands grasping Elyan's arm, his arm around her waist supporting her. She looked at Merlin with mute appeal, but he didn't know how to reassure her.
“What can be done to right this wrong done to my knight?” Arthur asked after an uncomfortable silence settled over the room.
“You can do nothing,” Lancelot said, struggling to his feet and Merlin applauded his improvisation. “I belong to the Lady Morgana and do her will only.”
“What proof have you of this?”
“The proof of my existence and the devotion I have in my heart,” Lancelot said defiantly.
“My lord, if you will allow,” Merlin said, moving forward. Arthur nodded suspiciously. “I saw him with a letter he was going to use to kill himself; I present it to you now for inspection, but be careful of the seal for it is poisonous.”
"This would have been helpful to know beforehand," he hissed at Merlin, but Arthur took the letter and read its contents before handing it to his knights to review.
“This would indeed seem to prove Morgana’s hand in this matter and the true Lancelot’s innocence. But that does not explain why nor does it cleanse away the guilt from the other offender or help to restore Lancelot to himself.”
“I have told you my suspicions and presented my proof concerning Gwen, my lord,” Merlin said, “and I can only believe Morgana did this because she wanted to prevent your marriage. But Gaius and I believe we have a way to not only prove Gwen’s innocence but break the spell over Lancelot.”
“Gaius?” Arthur asked, turning to him.
Gaius looked helplessly at Merlin before turning to Arthur, holding up the book he'd brought with him..
“Merlin suspected Gwen of being enchanted by a bracelet presented to her by the Shade of Lancelot. When he brought it to me I recognized it from this text as the…the…” Gaius glared at Merlin before continuing, “the Bracelet of Amorous Intentions. It is an ancient artifact designed to arouse strong and overwhelming feelings of love and devotion toward the giver of the bracelet to whom it has been magically bound through rituals of dark magic. Once wearing the bracelet a person has no choice but to follow those feelings. This device is insidious most especially because it enhances natural emotion and corrupts it to what amounts to slavery.”
Gwen looked up, as if in hope, her face brighter than it had been, Merlin smiled at her again, but she wasn’t looking at him. She was looking at Arthur.
Arthur looked at Gwen and there was a long moment between them, almost a silent conversation, before Gwen's face darkened and Arthur turned his face away quickly.
“I have experienced this bracelet myself and can testify to its power," he said, his voice husky. "How can its enchantment be broken?”
“Um, it…uh…?” Gaius said, looking to Merlin and raising his eyebrow.
Merlin made an exploding motion with his hands.
“Destroy it,” Gaius said, sounding more like he was asking a question. “With…fire, my lord.”
“Bring a brazier,” Arthur said, looking askance at Gaius and Merlin.
There was an awkward silence in the room as they waited for the fire.
“Sire, you realize my understanding of this matter is theoretical, I trust. You must know this is not magic I am doing,” Gaius said.
“Relieve yourself of any worry of punishment, Gaius,” Arthur said. “We know you are no longer a sorcerer. You are indeed our greatest weapon in the fight against evil enchantments.”
Merlin looked closely at Arthur for using that particular phrasing. Could it be Arthur was once again starting to think of magic itself as simply a force and understanding it was the choices of the wielder that made it either good or evil?
The brazier was set up and Merlin glanced worriedly at Lancelot who looked like he would collapse at any second, he was sweating and shaking. He didn’t seem like he could make it to the end of their charade.
He whispered.
“Ic pe purhhaele pin licsare. Ic pe purhhaele pin licsare.”
The words of strength and healing flowed out of him and he saw Lancelot stand stronger and look back at him. Merlin smiled encouragingly and tried to communicate with his eyes his intentions.
He glanced around quickly and saw Gwen giving him a strange look, but he didn't think she had seen. He hoped anyway. He nodded to her and she slowly nodded back. Merlin couldn't wait to get this over with; he had never felt so on display before.
“We must throw the bracelet in the fire and it should return Lancelot to his former self and destroy any lingering effects of magic upon Gwen,” Gaius said, sprinkling salt in the fire. “The salt will counteract the magic and enable the flames to melt metal already tested by fire.”
Merlin tried to hide a smile at the disgust in his mentor’s voice at the ludicrous things he was saying. Any true sorcerer would understand immediately they were lying.
Arthur held out his hand over the fire for a moment or two, his hand shaking as if he couldn’t decide he wanted to do this or not, but he finally dropped it in. Merlin stepped behind Gaius and whispered low in his throat, trying to hide his actions and the necessary volume of his voice. Gaius appeared to have a coughing fit just at that moment and Merlin mentally thanked him.
The fire sparked up high and there was a loud rumbling sound and the metal, though it would not ordinarily be destroyed in such a way, melted under the power of his magic.
Merlin felt drained, like he could sleep for a month after all the magic he’d used today but it was not over yet. He could only hope Lancelot had the strength and wit to do what needed to be done next.
Lancelot did not fail him but convulsed violently and fell to the floor and if Merlin didn’t know better he’d think that the man was being released from some sort of magic. Then he rolled over and slowly got onto his knees again, though he was obviously fading fast.
“My lord, forgive me,” he said, panting.
Arthur knelt before him.
“It was not your fault, Lancelot. Can you tell us how this happened?”
“I am not entirely clear on the details,” Lancelot rasped out. “I remember going into the veil and then I remember waking in a lake with Morgana in front of me. She took me to a hut and gave me food and clothing. She spoke to me, instructing me. She told me how to think and I…believed her. When she deemed the time appropriate she gave me into the care of her follower and he entered me in the tournament so I could make my return. Her follower gave me instructions from her and arranged for you to discover myself and…Guinevere.”
“This follower?” Arthur asked, ignoring Lancelot's pause. “Who was it?”
Lancelot hesitated and Merlin’s heart beat fast for he hardly dared hope this would be the moment that Agravaine’s true loyalties would be revealed. That hadn't even entered into his thoughts when he'd begun this crazy venture. But Lancelot was giving him a gift beyond Merlin's wildest dreams if Arthur would only listen.
“It was…it was Agravaine, Sire. It was your uncle.”
Arthur stood up so fast he nearly toppled over and turned away. All the knights stirred and murmured to themselves. Gwen sighed, long and loud, as if many things were suddenly made clear to her. Only Gaius and Merlin were unmoved.
“You must be mistaken,” Arthur said in a strangled voice.
“I am sorry, Sire, but I cannot be.”
“Sire,” Merlin said, daring to move forward, “when I visited Lancelot in his cell I saw Agravaine leaving it and then leaving the castle.”
Arthur shot him an anguished look and Merlin would have given anything to not have to do this to his best friend. To make him have to see that one more and his last family member was a traitor.
“Why?” Arthur shot out, turning back to Lancelot. “Do you know why?”
“Only that he wanted your downfall in revenge for his sister’s death. He spoke of it on our journey to Camelot. It was he who gave me the letter instructing me to kill myself. I am- I am sorry.”
Lancelot let out a strangled sound and faltered and Merlin knew the last of his healing spells were leaving and the inevitable was about to happen. He dived forward and caught Lancelot as he fell.
“Gaius, what is happening?” Arthur asked, looking astounded.
“I fear that breaking the hold of the magic that bound him to this earth is correcting the aberrance that brought him here. He is dying.”
“My friend, you have saved me again,” Lancelot said to Merlin and turned his face toward Gwen who was watching these proceedings with a fascinated horror. “Forgive me,” he asked her and then looked to Arthur. “Forgive me.”
Gwen fell to her knees beside him as Arthur also knelt. The knights gathered round, looking anxious at the second fall of one of their brothers.
“You are blameless and the truest knight of all,” Arthur said, his anger seemingly forgotten with grief. “Rest in peace, Sir Lancelot.”
“Forgive me,” Gwen said to him, tears filling her eyes anew, but she did not move to touch him.
“There is…nothing to f-forgive,” Lancelot said and his eyes closed, his breath almost gone.
“Gaius, can nothing be done?” Gwen asked.
“I’m afraid not, Gwen,” Gaius said gently.
“This is all my fault,” she said, backing away from Lancelot’s body, now completely still. “I am to blame.”
“Guinevere,” Arthur said, his voice breaking, and she turned wide eyes on him.
Something in his face must have convinced her it was all right because she launched herself into his arms and he almost fell over.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” she said, crying heavily now. “I thought I had betrayed you, I thought I’d done it.”
“I am sorry,” he said, clutching her to him in full presence of all his knights. Merlin supposed the two of them had forgotten anyone else was there. “I doubted you.”
“You saw me, of course you did,” she said.
He pulled back and rested his forehead on hers.
“Forgive me, I felt so angry. I have never been so angry.”
“You had every right to be angry,” she said, kissing him.
He kissed her back and the knights turned away, giving them some privacy. Merlin smiled though he also cried, sitting there with Lancelot’s body in his lap.
"I cannot bear to think of what I said to you," Arthur murmured against her lips.
"I cannot even recall the words," she said, smiling through her tears, "and if I had done that of my own free will, which we both thought- I would have deserved every word."
"No, there is always room for mercy in the heart of a King," he said, brushing the tears from her face. "You taught me that."
"You did show me mercy by not taking my head," she said, leaning her cheek into his hands. It was as if they could not stop touching each other for fear the other would vanish. "More mercy than any other would have done."
Merlin couldn’t look away even though Gaius was nudging him to.
"You deserved much more," Arthur said softly. "I wish I had…but now we will never know that pain again. It hurt- it was very hard to walk out that door."
"I wanted to die as you left," she said, leaning her forehead against his again.
“I love you, Guinevere,” Arthur whispered. “I love you. Will you be my wife?”
“Yes,” she said, “yes, with all my heart. I have never wanted anything else and I never will. I’d wait many more years for the chance.”
“You will only wait a day,” Arthur promised her. “You will be my Queen.”
“Is there any doubt in your heart that I love you?” she asked him, holding his head in her hands, searching his eyes.
Arthur looked at Gwen and slowly smiled. He kissed her cheek, he kissed her forehead, kissed her eyelid, then the corner of her mouth.
“None whatever,” he said and kissed her again.
Gwen’s face was beautiful in its happiness as he kissed her.
“And I will make sure you need never doubt again,” she said.
The two of them were happy for a few more moments before they had to be interrupted by the less than happy results of the trial. Lancelot’s body was carried away by his fellow knights save Elyan who was embracing his sister.
“He must receive a proper burial and tribute this time,” Arthur said, instructing his men. Gwaine nodded and the men left, bearing their fallen comrade. Arthur turned to Elyan and sighed. “Elyan, have guards arrest Lord Agravaine as soon as he returns to Camelot. Bring him here.”
“Yes, my lord,” Elyan said, leaving.
“Guinevere, I do not want you to be here for this,” Arthur said, rubbing her shoulders. “You are tired and spent the night mainly in the cells. Please, go and rest. Merlin, take her to my room. I will come and see you as soon as I have dealt with my uncle.”
“I do not want to leave you,” she said.
“I do not want you to,” he said, lifting her chin, “but I do not want him to say anything against you. This is something I must- I must do alone.”
"You are never alone, Arthur," she promised him.
"Thank you," he said, pressing one last, light kiss on her lips.
She nodded and then kissed his cheek one more time before leaving. Merlin walked after her, but they had barely gone outside the room when she hugged him.
“Thank you, Merlin. This is all your doing.”
“I had to try,” he said, hugging her back and trying not to think about what it would have been like in Camelot without her.
"I cannot believe the change only a few hours can bring," she said. "I am forever in your doubt."
"Arthur would have come around," Merlin said confidently.
She shook her head.
"It is the goodness in him that would not have allowed it, I think. Perhaps, in time, he could have forgiven me. He certainly would not have stopped loving me, but I doubt he could trust me again. And that is not the way of a proper marriage or the example a King and Queen must set. And Arthur is King above all else."
Merlin looked at her in wonder. If he thought about it, he would say the same about Arthur. They each knew their sovereign too well. But Gwen's gracious acceptance of such a course, one that would leave her out in the cold, was what truly made her Arthur's equal and perhaps better, made her fit to be Queen.
"I am glad, my lady, it did not come to that," he said, bowing to her.
She blushed and pushed at him.
“I just wish it hadn’t been Lancelot,” she said, her voice sorrowful, as they started walking again. “Such a dishonor for him and such a cruelty to Arthur.”
“It’s over now,” Merlin told her, "and Lancelot's honor is restored."
“I think you had more to do with it than you’re telling,” she said slowly, watching him closely.
He put on his Clueless Merlin Face and looked at her inquisitively.
“What do you mean by that?”
“Meaning I think you’re wonderful and I don’t care and I understand why,” she said, before walking off, leaving him dumbfounded, slightly worried, and awed.
"Gwen?" he asked, catching up to her a few minutes later.
"Not a word, Merlin," she said, putting a finger to his lips. "We are friends and friends understand one another. I do not want to be in a position that makes me lie to Arthur and I know you do not want that either. Just know that despite the evils I have seen, if even half of what I suspect is true, the good far outweighs it. One day I hope the three of us will talk."
"Thank you," Merlin said, tears coming to his eyes.
He tried to convey the full emotions he was feeling in those two words. He couldn't possibly make her understand what her acceptance meant to him and what her forbearance did for him.
"You had better get back to him," Gwen told him knowingly. "He will have need of you, I think."
"You too. After," he said.
He saw her safely into Arthur’s room and fetched a maid to attend to her before making his way back to Arthur. Arthur may want to do this alone, but Merlin didn’t see any point in starting to obey him now.
Still, Agravaine was already there when Merlin came back and it was obviously the tail end of the conversation. One Agravaine hadn’t been able to bluff his way out of.
“Why, Uncle? I know you did not love my father, but-”
“I did more than loathe your father, I detested everything he stood for,” Agravaine said and Merlin marveled at the change in the oily, preening way he usually addressed Arthur. “I rejoiced at the opportunity to put an end to him and I did. I placed the instrument of destruction around his neck and rejoiced that I could do the same to you.”
Arthur frowned in confusion.
“What do you mean, the instrument of his destruction?”
“Did you not wonder why the healing spell didn’t work?” Agravaine asked venomously. “Or did you just jump to the automatic conclusion magic was to blame? Well, you were right. But it was the spell already in place on Uther that I put there that made him die and I am glad to take the credit now.”
Merlin considered this the best news he’d heard all day. Maybe the horror of that moment could finally be washed from his mind.
Arthur just looked broken and he turned away from Agravaine.
"And you refuse to reveal to us Morgana's location?"
"I will never betray her!" Agravaine said. "Hers is the only crown I will bow to."
Arthur looked at Merlin and Merlin's heart ached at the pain he could see etched on his friend's face.
Arthur spoke quietly, not looking at his uncle.
“So be it, Uncle. You have confessed and been found guilty of both murder and treason. I sentence you to death.”
Agravaine was pulled screaming from the throne room while Arthur turned to watch resolutely and Merlin approached Arthur cautiously.
“My lord.”
“You knew,” Arthur said, without turning around. “You knew he was doing this.”
“I could not prove it,” Merlin said softly.
“And he was the one, the one who killed my father… How could that be?”
“Gaius and I did find a necklace on Uther’s body. It was a symbol of the Old Religion. We found it odd, but how could we say anything?”
“But if it might have had something to do with his death, how could you not?” Arthur asked, his voice anguished.
“You were very angry then, my lord. And we could prove nothing.”
Arthur simply nodded and Merlin thought that it would be some time before the wounds that had been re-opened, closed again. Yet he was surprised at Arthur's next words.
“Then the old man, the sorcerer, he wasn’t to blame. Not really.”
“I do not think so,” Merlin said, trying to keep the eagerness from his voice. “I believe he only truly wanted to help.”
Arthur looked at him then and Merlin wanted to take a step back at the passion in his eyes.
“I believed him, Merlin, oh, I believed him. If you had seen the look on his face, the emotion when he spoke about magic users being free to live their lives, when he talked about magic being used for good, you would have believed him too.”
“But then you thought he was responsible.”
“Since he was not I must…think about keeping my promise. I must reconsider…everything.”
“I think that will be wise,” Merlin said, hardly daring to believe it, joy threatening to overwhelm him.
Arthur's shoulders slumped as if he had been avoiding a problem and could no longer.
“I shouldn’t have let Agravaine talk me out of suspecting him when I confronted him about betraying our route. He tried to blame Gaius. And when Gaius was kidnapped, that must have been him; he kept pushing me to suspect him. And Gwaine said that he was holding a knife over Gaius when he found him. I let him interrogate Gaius like a common criminal. I have been a fool.”
“Only a man who trusts his family,” Merlin said.
“Then why does this keep happening to me?” Arthur asked, starting to pace. “Is there something about me that makes the people I love want to hurt me?”
“No!” Merlin said fiercely. “You cannot blame yourself for their decisions. Morgana and Agravaine became twisted by their hatred for Uther. You are not your father, you are not to be held responsible for his actions and decisions.”
“But why include me in their hatred for him? Why love me to my face and twist knives in my back? Why can I not see when someone is lying to me?”
Merlin ignored the guilt stabbing through his heart and held out his hands.
“Arthur, you rule with your heart. That is what makes you a better King than your father. That is what sets you apart and makes the people of this land love you. But it also means you treasure the people around you and if they choose to take advantage of that, it simply means you need to be wise and open your eyes a bit more, maybe…listen when people tell you things.”
Arthur barked out a sharp laugh and rolled his eyes.
“You mean, listen to you more.”
“Well…” Merlin said, and pretended to think about it, “I wouldn’t say that, no, no, yes, I would.” Arthur’s mouth quirked up slightly and Merlin became serious again. “I can’t advise you in this, not really. No one is perfect; everyone has the potential to fall. But you can do only do your best, keep your mind open, and not be afraid.”
“Merlin, you’re having one of those rare – very rare, mind you – moments when you’re being wise, aren’t you?”
“Maybe,” Merlin said. “I just think that sometimes people lie to hurt you, sometimes they lie to protect you, sometimes destiny controls us more than we’d like. Some, like yours, have been written. I know the great King you will become. It may not seem like it now; there may be dark days ahead. More people will fail you, even if they do not mean to. But it is not all bad, it will get better. You will learn to see more clearly and not everything will be so confusing. I promise that some day you’ll understand all this. When you have fulfilled your destiny. And I’ll be at your side until you do.”
There was a moment of silence as Arthur drank it all in.
“What a horrible thought,” he said finally.
Merlin grinned.
“Sickens me a bit too,” he said.
“Well, come on then,” Arthur said. “You’ve got preparations to make.”
Merlin started to follow before he stopped.
"What do you mean 'you've?' "
It turned out that most of the wedding had already been set up and not yet taken down. But there was still a lot to do before the day was over.
Merlin spent much of the next few hours running errands and washing clothes and being more of a servant than a warlock, more of a minion than an advisor, but that was okay. He felt tired and used up and emotionally drained after everything that had happened.
He finally dropped into his bed late into the night and slept the sleep of the very tired before he got up way too early to greet the next day.
Three things happened that day and each was emotional and unique in its execution.
The first thing that happened was Lancelot’s funeral. It was a solemn occasion. The only people present were Arthur, Gwen, Merlin, Gaius, Gwaine, Leon, Percival, and Elyan. They traveled by horse to the lake.
They laid Lancelot's body in a boat and Arthur placed the new sword and cape he’d given to him on his breast. The King stepped back and Merlin rested his hand on Lancelot’s forehead, whispering an ancient blessing. For an instant Lancelot’s skin was warm under his touch and then he turned cold again. Merlin and Gwaine shoved the boat into the water and stepped back to where Arthur and Gwen were holding onto each other. If either of them was uncomfortable at the idea of being at the funeral of a man who had almost divided them, albeit unintentionally, they did not show it; instead they appeared to be united in their grief.
Percival raised his bow and shot a flaming arrow toward the boat. It rose in a graceful arc and Merlin used a little magic to nudge it to land right at the head of the boat where it would cause the boat to instantly burst into flame instead of taking time. Lancelot sailed to his final resting place and Merlin could only be glad that the noblest man he’d ever met was redeemed before the end.
They stood for awhile on the shore before slowly trailing away. Gwen and Arthur went back first, hands tightly wound together. Merlin stayed the longest, eyes blinking fast against the tears that threatened to fall.
The second thing that happened was Agravaine’s execution. That was a slightly larger affair as Arthur had to explain to the people what had happened. He made a halting speech full of heartfelt regret and Merlin could see how moved the people were, more for their King’s grief than for any affection for Agravaine. Agravaine himself was completely transformed, as if the evil that had always lingered beneath the surface of his diplomatic words and careful flattery had exploded into the light for all to see. He spat obscenities at any who looked on him and cursed Arthur’s name with his last breath.
Arthur looked on, face hard as flint, while Gwen stood bravely at his side and Merlin could see him clutching her hand tightly.
Agravaine’s head rolled to the ground and though Merlin felt sick at the sight of it he could not help but be glad that the toxic advice giver under the thrall of Morgana’s evil was now gone forever.
No one lingered on such a scene, but all hastened to their duties and preparations.
The third thing that happened was a wedding and a coronation. It was far far better than the other two events.
Merlin helped a suddenly panicking Arthur get ready and endured a mountain of verbal lashing as Arthur worried about where his ceremonial sword was, and was that a hole in his shirt, and did Merlin know where on earth the knights had got to?
Merlin endured it all with patience and humor because he was so happy he didn’t have time to be upset. It was his great honor to stand in his best clothes in the front row of the great hall and watch Guinevere and Arthur be joined together.
Geoffrey stood before them and spoke.
“My lords and ladies of Camelot, we are gathered here today to celebrate the ancient rite of hand-fasting, the union of Arthur Pendragon and Guinevere of Camelot. Is it your wish, Arthur, to become one with this woman?”
Arthur’s face was calm and happy.
“It is.”
Is it your wish, Guinevere, to become one with this man?”
“It is,” Gwen said emphatically.
Merlin was the happiest he’d ever been watching the rest of the ritual and then seeing Arthur kiss his new bride and present her before the court. It was a good day. A day that saved the love of his two best friends, allowed him to say goodbye honorably to another one, to rid the kingdom of an evil conspiring against it, and to plant the seed of hope for all magic in Arthur’s heart and mind.
The beautiful words of the ceremony rolled over the hall and it seemed brighter in that moment than Merlin had ever seen it before. In it was all the love and trials shared by the two being joined, all their patience and loyalty that now merged to become a beacon of hope for everyone in Camelot.
But that was not all that moment held for though the two were man and wife, the stage was quickly set for the coronation to make Gwen Queen of Camelot.
She exited and Arthur’s crown was placed upon his head. Gwen entered again, walking down the long aisle, and knelt before her King on the dais. Geoffrey approached with a crown on a pillow. Arthur took the crown from him and held it over her head.
“By the sacred laws vested in me, I crown you, Guinevere, Queen of Camelot.”
He placed the crown upon her head and then raised her to her feet. They exchanged a kiss and Merlin’s grin was so broad it nearly split his face. Arthur turned his Queen to meet her subjects, holding onto her hand, he stepped slightly behind her.
“Long live the Queen!” he proclaimed.
The shout was taken up by every person in the hall, the largest gathering of the day so far. Merlin himself could barely speak a word until he’d heard everyone else speak the phrase three or four times. Then he joined in with devotion and meaning in every syllable.
“Long live the Queen!”
Then they rejoiced and there was dancing and ale and good food and Merlin was kept hopping with Arthur wandering here, there, and everywhere, visiting everyone in the hall while Merlin tried to keep his lord plied with food and drink.
The knights kept calling for him to join in their merriment and ribbing of Elyan for being the Queen’s brother but he didn’t have the time.
Merlin would have liked nothing better than to fall in bed and sleep for a long while after the celebration had ended but instead he was hurrying about Arthur’s room, making sure the bed was perfect and that there were flowers on every surface and Arthur’s hair was combed in just the right way.
Merlin’s destiny was a very hard one at times, he thought to himself while he caught the fifth shirt flung at him by Arthur.
“Arthur, you’re acting like a little boy meeting her for the first time, what is the problem?”
“Merlin, I’m fairly sure you’ve never been able to even look a woman in the face before so there’s no way you’d understand.”
“Who’s had the time while dancing to your pipe, my lord?” Merlin said, bending down to pick up more clothing and shoving thoughts of half-remembered kisses and embraces in a low-lit tunnel with someone long dead out of his mind.
“I’ll just have to do it for the both of us then, shan’t I?” Arthur said. “Now pick all that up before she gets here!”
“Honestly, you’ve seen her before, she’s cleaned this room countless times, it’s not like there’s that much mystery left. Don’t I recall a certain time when you stepped out for a bath and-“
“Not one more word,” Arthur said viciously, holding his finger about an inch from Merlin’s nose. “That was different. This is our wedding night, Merlin, try to muster up some decorum.”
“Decorum?” Merlin asked, trying to keep a straight face.
“Yes, decorum, respect…feudality.”
“I’m not quite sure you know what that last word is, Arthur.”
Arthur rolled his eyes.
“I’ll be happy to teach you the meaning, but later. Much later if I have anything to say about it.”
“Honestly, my lord, this blushing act is…adorable, really, but I don’t think you have anything to worry about. If there’s anything this whole situation has taught us, it’s that Gwen loves you.”
Arthur dropped to his bed.
“I know that, Merlin, but so many awful things happened yesterday. And in the past. The things I said to her, the things she’s endured at my hand and my father’s, the long wait. I don’t want the end of the wait to be anything but perfect.”
Merlin swallowed a smile and set his face in a sober expression.
“I’m sure you’re up for the job, Sire. And you know that no matter what, all Gwen wants is to be with you. You can’t change the past, all you can do is make a better future. That’s your destiny, Arthur.”
“Would you stop using that word? I honestly don’t think I can take any more pithy sayings from you today, Merlin,” Arthur said.
“Shall we go back to you trying on clothes like girls at the market?” Merlin suggested.
Arthur lunged for him and Merlin backed away, tripping over the rug, causing both him and Arthur to fall. Arthur got his arm around Merlin in a headlock and they didn’t hear the tentative knock on the door.
A sound like the clearing of a throat interrupted them and they both looked up, Merlin gasping for air, and Arthur shirtless and laughing, at Gwen standing above them with an amused expression on her face.
“Shall I come back?” she asked, quiet humor in her voice.
“No, no, no,” Arthur said, jumping up. Merlin collapsed back on the floor. “Merlin was just leaving, weren’t you, Merlin?”
“Absolutely dying to do so,” Merlin said, struggling to his feet.
Gwen steadied him and he averted his eyes from her dressing gown.
Arthur appeared to have been struck dumb looking at her and Merlin couldn’t blame him.
“Goodnight, Merlin,” she whispered, a blush spreading over her face as Arthur looked her up and down.
“Goodnight, and good luck,” he said, “Arthur’s been preparing for hours.”
He ducked instinctively and missed the pillow flung at his head.
He turned as he closed the door behind him and his last view was of Arthur pulling Gwen into his arms and kissing her neck. When the doors closed he could hear a low chuckle and a high gasping sound and he beat his retreat hastily.
When he got back to his room Gaius looked up from his potions.
“Not a bad day, Merlin.”
“No, Gaius, not a bad one at all,” Merlin said. “But I’m pretty sure I need to sleep for a week after all the magic I've used lately. If I’m lucky Arthur will be occupied just long enough to give me a break.”
“Go to bed, Merlin,” Gaius said, shaking his head indulgently. “Tomorrow you may be needed again.”
Merlin grinned at him and grabbed a piece of bread on his way up to his room. Flinging himself on his bed, he slowly ate, contemplating everything that had happened.
Things were right in a way that they hadn't been in a long time. He felt a renewed grief over Lancelot and worry over Morgana and what she would do next. He felt like he should have been better prepared for her. But Agravaine was now gone and, though he worried about how Arthur was going to deal with that, he knew that having Gwen at his side would be the best cure for Arthur. And they were finally married. Merlin had to smile at the thought. It had been so long.
And Gwen knew about him. She'd figured it out somehow. Though with the amount of magic he'd used, he was surprised everyone in the hall didn't know about him now. Merlin found he didn't mind Gwen knowing, though he was pretty sure Gaius would be horrified when he told him. But Gwen was his true friend, and it was a bit like Lancelot knowing, almost like Lancelot's dying had bequeathed the knowledge to her somehow. And it brought Merlin that one step closer to feeling confident it was the time to tell Arthur.
It would be soon. Very soon. He felt a slight trepidation at the thought as he always did when he thought about it, but this time there was more hope than ever before. He could not keep the secret much longer without truly betraying Arthur's trust in him anyway. Now that Uther was dead and Arthur was a bit more understanding of magic, Merlin felt very hopeful indeed. In fact he was feeling better about, oh, everything, than in a long time.