BTVS Oneshot: This False Self
Oct. 19th, 2009 11:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jesterladyficTitle: This False Self
Rating: PG
Summary: After OMWF Giles has a talk with Willow and Xander about their behavior. I always thought Xander's summoning Sweets needed to be dealt with. Hopefully, this will help S6 to not spiral out of control
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. The title is by Thomas Merton
This False Self
Willow fidgeted nervously, while she studiously avoided Xander's gaze as he sat beside her, drumming his fingers on the couch to relieve his own tension. She wondered how long they'd been sitting there, waiting. A flare of impatience and anger at being treated like she was a naughty child sprang up, but she pushed it down again. If she needed it, it would be there.
Giles finally hung up the phone and turned to face the two young adults. Before, Giles had always seemed awe
inspiring to her, even as he was obviously nervous himself about how to handle young people. Now, Giles seemed
distant, confident and more self righteous than he had any right to be. She didn't like the change and she ignored the
voice that told her it wasn't him, it was her, who had changed.
“I needed to speak with the two of you about Buffy,” he said, his voice heavy with age and regret.
“Honest, man, we didn't know about the...the heaven thing,” Xander was quick to say.
“That is not the point,” Giles said sternly. “Now, I want you two to listen and be quiet until I've finished. Heaven
knows how often I've listened to all of your problems, now I want you to focus on someone else.”
Willow's anger surged up within her again and she resisted the urge to get up and leave. He wanted her to
listen, very well, but she'd become used to keeping her own counsel this past summer. Xander looked stricken and
nodded quickly.
“I can't tell you how disappointed I am in the pair of you. Before I say anymore, I would like to acknowledge my
own guilt. I was too wrapped up in my own grief to see what you were doing, to see how low events had sunken. I
shouldn't have left you. I should've guided you better, particularly you, Willow.” Giles looked away for a minute, then
turned back and the sorrow was gone from his face, replaced with anger. “But I expected better from you. You
corroded your own love for Buffy into need that was so strong you destroyed her chance for rest, your own arrogance
decided that you knew better than the laws of nature.”
Willow clenched her jaw so tightly that she thought it might break. How dare the old, useless man lecture her?
After his past? Never mind the voice that told her his past meant he knew what he was talking about.
Xander sat beside her, shell shocked. It was obvious that he'd seen Giles' righteous anger as something that
could only be visited upon Buffy or evil things, and that he himself could only have the indignation of maturity bestowed
on him. Willow smiled grimly. He really was a child sometimes. Giles continued on.
“Perhaps I should speak to the two of you individually about which things I see as below you, but seeing how
close the two of you are and how intertwined the faults are, I trust you'll forgive any chiding you feel should be done in
private.”
He just got more British every year, Willow thought, among other things. They weren't kind thoughts.
“Xander, that spell you did was completely foolish. I thought you'd learned your lessons about messing around
with magic with that Valentine's Day debacle. But I see that you can't quite grasp the concept that magic does not
make things magically go away. But what I find worse than this was that you tried to hide your involvement even after
people had died. At least with the first spell you came to me when it became apparent things were wrong. I cannot
stress how utterly contemptuous I find it that you didn't do the same thing here. I've signed you and Anya up for
pre-marital counseling and I don't want any argument. If you want to continue to be a contributing member of this
group than you have to learn to shoulder your own weight and stop putting your insecurities about the other parts of
your life onto the rest of us.”
Xander swallowed hard. Willow watched him absorb the truth, saw him digest it and what was worse, begin to
understand it. For once, he kept his mouth shut and nodded silently. There was a new resolution there, he might
even go to Anya about it. Willow shook her head in annoyance. One more thing she would have to fix later. Bother
Giles and his interference.
Giles turned to Willow and looked her straight in the eye.
“I warned you back when you ensouled Angel that magic was a power that was not to be taken lightly. You took
that and every warning I've given you since and thrown it away without even considering it. I should've pressed harder,
and for that I'm sorry, but I cannot allow it to continue further. Buffy is paying for your mistakes and your lust for power.
You're a foolish girl playing with forces you don’t understand and your natural prowess is clouding your ability to see
that.”
Willow's eyes started to burn and she felt shame, guilt, anger and power rise up within her.
“You don't know what you're talking about,” she spat out. She abruptly stood up and gathered her power between
her hands, preparing to do something that she once would've considered impossible.
“Will!” Xander gasped even as Giles himself stood and quietly spoke a few words. Willow cried out as the power
drained from her and a ring of light surrounded her, binding her arms to her sides.
“I'm sorry, Willow,” Giles said gently. “There is a coven in England and they helped me long ago. They're going to
do the same for you. You've negated your ability to use magic properly and we cannot allow you to continue. Tara has
expressed her own anxieties about this issue to me and especially after tonight I cannot help but agree with her. You
will accompany me to England. I should be with my Slayer, but since you've seen fit to continue your destructive path I
shall have to hope that the damage you've inflicted is not too far gone, until I can return and start to make up for my own mistakes in this matter.”
Xander stood there, gaping, in awe and frightened and slightly angry. But he couldn’t help but agree and that single fact stopped him from doing anything.
“Giles,” he said helplessly.
“It will be for the best, Xander. We'll be able to help her be Willow again.” Giles moved closer and put his hands
on the redhead's black eyes. “Sleep, Willow, sleep and be whole.”
Willow slumped slightly, but did not fall within her band of light. Giles quietly laid her on the couch and then
picked up the phone again. Xander still couldn't quite grasp what had just happened, but he knew that for the first time in a long time, he didn't feel like the world was pressing in on him.
Rating: PG
Summary: After OMWF Giles has a talk with Willow and Xander about their behavior. I always thought Xander's summoning Sweets needed to be dealt with. Hopefully, this will help S6 to not spiral out of control
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS. The title is by Thomas Merton
This False Self
Willow fidgeted nervously, while she studiously avoided Xander's gaze as he sat beside her, drumming his fingers on the couch to relieve his own tension. She wondered how long they'd been sitting there, waiting. A flare of impatience and anger at being treated like she was a naughty child sprang up, but she pushed it down again. If she needed it, it would be there.
Giles finally hung up the phone and turned to face the two young adults. Before, Giles had always seemed awe
inspiring to her, even as he was obviously nervous himself about how to handle young people. Now, Giles seemed
distant, confident and more self righteous than he had any right to be. She didn't like the change and she ignored the
voice that told her it wasn't him, it was her, who had changed.
“I needed to speak with the two of you about Buffy,” he said, his voice heavy with age and regret.
“Honest, man, we didn't know about the...the heaven thing,” Xander was quick to say.
“That is not the point,” Giles said sternly. “Now, I want you two to listen and be quiet until I've finished. Heaven
knows how often I've listened to all of your problems, now I want you to focus on someone else.”
Willow's anger surged up within her again and she resisted the urge to get up and leave. He wanted her to
listen, very well, but she'd become used to keeping her own counsel this past summer. Xander looked stricken and
nodded quickly.
“I can't tell you how disappointed I am in the pair of you. Before I say anymore, I would like to acknowledge my
own guilt. I was too wrapped up in my own grief to see what you were doing, to see how low events had sunken. I
shouldn't have left you. I should've guided you better, particularly you, Willow.” Giles looked away for a minute, then
turned back and the sorrow was gone from his face, replaced with anger. “But I expected better from you. You
corroded your own love for Buffy into need that was so strong you destroyed her chance for rest, your own arrogance
decided that you knew better than the laws of nature.”
Willow clenched her jaw so tightly that she thought it might break. How dare the old, useless man lecture her?
After his past? Never mind the voice that told her his past meant he knew what he was talking about.
Xander sat beside her, shell shocked. It was obvious that he'd seen Giles' righteous anger as something that
could only be visited upon Buffy or evil things, and that he himself could only have the indignation of maturity bestowed
on him. Willow smiled grimly. He really was a child sometimes. Giles continued on.
“Perhaps I should speak to the two of you individually about which things I see as below you, but seeing how
close the two of you are and how intertwined the faults are, I trust you'll forgive any chiding you feel should be done in
private.”
He just got more British every year, Willow thought, among other things. They weren't kind thoughts.
“Xander, that spell you did was completely foolish. I thought you'd learned your lessons about messing around
with magic with that Valentine's Day debacle. But I see that you can't quite grasp the concept that magic does not
make things magically go away. But what I find worse than this was that you tried to hide your involvement even after
people had died. At least with the first spell you came to me when it became apparent things were wrong. I cannot
stress how utterly contemptuous I find it that you didn't do the same thing here. I've signed you and Anya up for
pre-marital counseling and I don't want any argument. If you want to continue to be a contributing member of this
group than you have to learn to shoulder your own weight and stop putting your insecurities about the other parts of
your life onto the rest of us.”
Xander swallowed hard. Willow watched him absorb the truth, saw him digest it and what was worse, begin to
understand it. For once, he kept his mouth shut and nodded silently. There was a new resolution there, he might
even go to Anya about it. Willow shook her head in annoyance. One more thing she would have to fix later. Bother
Giles and his interference.
Giles turned to Willow and looked her straight in the eye.
“I warned you back when you ensouled Angel that magic was a power that was not to be taken lightly. You took
that and every warning I've given you since and thrown it away without even considering it. I should've pressed harder,
and for that I'm sorry, but I cannot allow it to continue further. Buffy is paying for your mistakes and your lust for power.
You're a foolish girl playing with forces you don’t understand and your natural prowess is clouding your ability to see
that.”
Willow's eyes started to burn and she felt shame, guilt, anger and power rise up within her.
“You don't know what you're talking about,” she spat out. She abruptly stood up and gathered her power between
her hands, preparing to do something that she once would've considered impossible.
“Will!” Xander gasped even as Giles himself stood and quietly spoke a few words. Willow cried out as the power
drained from her and a ring of light surrounded her, binding her arms to her sides.
“I'm sorry, Willow,” Giles said gently. “There is a coven in England and they helped me long ago. They're going to
do the same for you. You've negated your ability to use magic properly and we cannot allow you to continue. Tara has
expressed her own anxieties about this issue to me and especially after tonight I cannot help but agree with her. You
will accompany me to England. I should be with my Slayer, but since you've seen fit to continue your destructive path I
shall have to hope that the damage you've inflicted is not too far gone, until I can return and start to make up for my own mistakes in this matter.”
Xander stood there, gaping, in awe and frightened and slightly angry. But he couldn’t help but agree and that single fact stopped him from doing anything.
“Giles,” he said helplessly.
“It will be for the best, Xander. We'll be able to help her be Willow again.” Giles moved closer and put his hands
on the redhead's black eyes. “Sleep, Willow, sleep and be whole.”
Willow slumped slightly, but did not fall within her band of light. Giles quietly laid her on the couch and then
picked up the phone again. Xander still couldn't quite grasp what had just happened, but he knew that for the first time in a long time, he didn't feel like the world was pressing in on him.
