And Make a Lost World Thy Home: Chapter Nine

[jesterladyfic]

Chapter Nine:

Veronica was inside the building again, wandering through the halls. There were portraits on the walls but no matter how hard she tried she couldn’t retain the images. People dressed in business clothes with no faces passed by her, paying her no attention, even when she tried to talk to them. They carried folders in their arms and the women’s heels clacked loudly on the tiled floor.

There were voices ahead of her and she followed the sounds, wondering if this particular hallway was ever going to end.

The sounds grew louder and when she finally turned a corner she found a cavernous room she’d seen once before - the lobby of the hotel Angel worked out of.

Mac and Tara were in front of her, Mac busily typing away on a laptop. When Veronica peered over her shoulder all she saw was gibberish. Tara was making notes from a book, also gibberish.

Buffy and Spike were standing by the counter and Veronica moved closer to hear what they were saying.

“About time you got here, Veronica,” said Lilly’s voice from behind her.

Veronica turned to see Lilly dressed in her cheerleader’s outfit, lounging on the circled cushions in the middle of the room.

“Lilly,” she said, walking toward her. “You’re here again.”

“As if I ever left,” said Lilly. “Pfft, Veronica. You’ve got to start putting pieces together.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” asked Veronica.

She didn’t have as much patience for Lilly’s remarks as she used to.

“Who you are,” said Lilly, sitting up. “Why didn’t you ask someone about me years ago?”

“I was afraid of what you were,” said Veronica. “Then I didn’t care, I just wanted to keep you to myself.”

“This amount of awesome was not meant to be kept in a box,” Lilly said, waving her hand to include the entirety of her form. “Besides, I’m not really here.”

“Because I made you up,” said Veronica.

“Even you could only imagine half of me,” said Lilly. “But now I get to run and play, like the other kids.”

“Speaking of kids,” said Veronica.

Lilly shook her head.

“Don’t go there just yet,” she said.

“What do you mean?” asked Veronica.

Behind her Spike screamed.

***

Logan watched Veronica sleep for a minute or two. She’d fallen asleep on the window seat the night before and he’d moved her over to the bed. She was a fairly sound sleeper for someone so used to being alert to her surroundings. He’d fallen asleep rather quickly himself and then had woken up too early. He’d gotten some coffee going and then went out to pull in the garbage cans. What he’d found was a destroyed bin lid and trash scattered from where scavengers had helped themselves to the contents of the bin. At least the recycling tub was okay.

He came back inside to find Buffy rummaging in the cupboards.

“Care to tell me about the party you threw last night?” he asked.

Buffy winced as she faced him.

“Sorry, I totally meant to clean that, but I was fixing Spike up. Bounty hunter came after him outside last night.”

“Is he okay?” asked Logan.

She nodded.

“He held his own pretty well; I’d say he’s back in fighting form.”

“Huzzah for small favors,” said Logan. “You up?”

“No,” said Buffy, stifling a yawn. “I am officially going back to bed once I find some aspirin.”

Logan got it for her and then headed back to the bedroom where Veronica was still sleeping and sat up in bed, going over some reports, but mostly thinking.

What Veronica had told him the night before was nothing short of mind blowing, but it made way too much sense when he thought about the past for him to disbelieve her. For the most part he thought about the conviction she appeared to have that this was a gift and was something she’d always had.

He couldn’t deny that the thought scared him. A Veronica with the ability to sense the future was more frightening than just a Veronica who never let the truth rest. The problem was, apparently she’d always been the former. He didn’t get to divide the two halves of her in his mind.

He could divide himself in half, the Logan before Sunnydale and the Logan afterward. There were some bad moments in either half, but on the whole, he’d much rather be the Logan he was now. He was also much less likely to have secrets for Veronica to ferret out and pin him to the wall over. Granted, he had to admit she’d mellowed slightly herself and no longer automatically included him on her righteous hunts for vengeance.

That really made all the difference in the world, that she trusted him and that he didn’t provoke her. It had made marriage between them possible and also what made him decide they were ready for children.

That was really the only fear factor left for him and there was nothing he could do about it but wait for her to make up her mind. If this was something that was going to be around for all of their lives, was it something in her genes that she could pass down to their children? Was it just randomly inherent to her? Would it make her unwilling to try?

Veronica nudged him with her foot.

“You’re going to freeze with the ugliest expression on your face,” she said.

He pulled a face at her.

“I am always incredibly handsome,” he said, setting his paperwork aside.

“You keep telling yourself that, squire,” she said, stretching a bit.

“You sleep all right?” he asked.

“Yeah, another dream,” she said.

“Oh. Well, Spike had a midnight visitor, too,” said Logan. They exchanged stories, Logan going first, and when she’d finished relating her dream he paused. “Can I bring up a taboo subject?” he asked.

“Nothing’s ever stopped you before,” she said warily.

“What Lilly said…” he trailed off.

Veronica sighed, but he saw her face tighten with determination.

“Yeah, that caught my attention as well,” she said, sitting up.

“Your thoughts?”

“Listen to me before you react,” she prefaced.

“Not boding well,” he murmured.

“I want kids,” she said, smiling. “Yeah, I want them with you. I want to be a mom and I want to go to soccer games and I want to make them pancakes and teach them how to responsibly use their trust funds.”

“I’m liking it,” he said, but he knew there was more coming.

“But not now,” she said. “Not until after this thing with Spike is over. Now that we know this is a part of me there are a lot more factors we have to deal with. Genetics and feasibility. I’m going back on the pill.”

Logan shook his head and chuckled wearily.

“Because we’ve had so much time for wild lovemaking lately.”

“More’s the pity,” she said. “But I’m ‘No Take Chances Veronica’ and so it’s kaput until we can figure it out.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, mock saluting her.

He couldn’t blame the decision and he couldn’t say he entirely disagreed with it, but it was simply what he’d feared would happen all along and he knew personally how easy it would be to put off forever. All the long months leading up to the decision and now it was simply stowed away in the attic of their lives until the next rainy day.

“Don’t,” she said, reaching up for him, framing his face. He tried to smile at her. “This is really hard for me, too.”

He nodded and kissed her nose.

“I know. It still hurts.”

“You big softie,” she said, easing herself into his lap. “I’m going to see you playing tea time and dress up and rolling around in the backyard if it’s the last thing I do.”

“Don’t joke about that,” he said, kissing her.

She kissed him back and he spent a few minutes enjoying the taste and feel of her against him, running his fingers through her bed head.

“I am as ever, your obedient wife,” she finally said, pulling back for air.

He snorted and bopped her nose before picking her up and setting her on her feet.

“If I’m ever going to get you knocked up,” he said, “we’d better solve this apocalypse, so up and at ‘em, Mars.”

This time she mock saluted him on the way to get dressed.

He looked after her for a minute, a new ache settling into his heart, but it was nothing that could be helped. Sometimes being a grown up was not an enjoyable experience and he’d rather solve his problems by throwing money at it or maybe even blowing it up. Still, having Veronica was the only thing he’d ever really wanted and he’d take that over any other life.

***

Buffy stretched and tried to wake up the best she could, but there was a weight around her waist pinning her down. She turned her head and found Spike nestled against her back, arm draped over her.

It was one of those moments when she simply had to stop and take stock of what was happening. It was too much for her mind to process that she was waking up next to Spike and he was alive. Her brain kept tossing thoughts like that at her like it was the biggest revelation she’d ever have and it threw her every time.

This time it actually brought tears to her eyes and she turned over in bed, careful to avoid his ribs, not that they weren’t already healing, and traced his face lightly. It was an unusual position for her to be in - he watched her, not the other way around - but it felt fitting to her. It was easier to watch his face while he was asleep, to allow herself the pleasure of simply being with him. She hadn’t had time for that yet.

Spike groaned as he woke up and she smiled at the familiar sound. He was a grouchy riser and their weird sleeping schedule usually aggravated that.

“Someone tap dancing on my ribs?” he asked, without opening his eyes.

“Not anymore,” she said, resting her head back on the pillow.

“Do me a favor and slay ‘em for me?” he said, tightening his hold on her.

“You’re barely hurt,” she said lightly. “You are the whiniest of babies.”

He cocked one eye open and grinned at her.

“Take that back.”

“Make me,” she said.

“I could,” he said, closing his eye again, “but that would involve moving.”

“Don’t you want to move even a little?” she asked, kissing his eyebrow and then moving to his cheekbone.

“I’m listening,” he said, his arm tugging her closer and traveling around her back.

“I don’t want you listening,” she said, kissing along his jawbone, “I want you moving.”

“Bossy sow,” he said, but he opened his eyes and moved his lips down to hers and she kissed him for a very long time, memories competing with the moment in her mind, bringing life with Spike into glorious color behind her eyes.

A door slammed in the hallway and voices sounded from down below.

“I guess we have to get up,” she said sorrowfully.

“Vampires don’t get up with the sun,” said Spike, burrowing his head into the pillow.

“You’re acting awfully…sweet,” said Buffy carefully. “Any idea why?”

“Stupid bloody William,” said Spike grumpily. “Never could disappoint a lady.”

Buffy thought about that for a moment and then decided to proceed with her first impulse.

“That would not be just a William trait,” she said, poking his chest. “I’m beginning to think you’re one and the same, after all.”

Spike snorted, but lapsed into thought.

“That’s disappointing,” he said. “Here I thought I had become something and now was going to revert only to be told I never became anything at all.”

“You became something all right,” she said. “Spike, you became the biggest pain in my ass I’ve ever had.” He smirked at her and she shoved him. “I mean it; people evolve based on time and experience. Vampires less so, they seem a bit stuck in whatever year they were turned, hence the terrible fashion sense sometimes, but when you live for centuries, you’re going to pick up a few trends.”

“Meaning?” he asked, eyeing her carefully.

“Meaning you did change,” she said. “It’s the core you that never really changed. It just got buried underneath all the blood and fangs. Now the soul is airing it out, but it’s still influenced by the personality you’ve shaped for yourself.”

“Don’t know,” he said. “Guess some inner contemplating is in order. Oh bloody joy.”

She laughed and kissed him.

“I can’t tell you how much I missed you,” she said.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You were a part of me and then you were gone. It was a bit like being ripped open, I guess. Only metaphorically and without any intestinal bits.”

“Sorry, love,” he said. “Saving the world and all, your influence, that.”

“Stupid me,” she said, and then bit her lip. Talking about this was bringing up a lot of memories she hadn’t thought about in a long time. She wasn’t sure how wise that was.

“It’s who you are,” he said, putting one hand through her hair, brushing it out of her eyes. “Can’t help that any more than I can, yeah?”

“But then I’m stuck with the consequences,” she said. “Living without you was unbearable at first; then it got better and instead of wallowing on Willow’s couch in London I moved to Cleveland, fought the good fight. When we closed that Hellmouth I relaxed and I got a degree and started dating again, some really great guys even.”

“Yeah, can we skip that bit?” he asked, his voice rough.

“Sorry,” she said. “I know this time thing is really weird for you. What I meant was that I couldn’t just walk around like a war bride forever. So I didn’t, but then…bam, here you are again and this second chance is overwhelming.”

“Those can do that,” he said.

“But it’s good,” she said, smiling at him, feeling a bit vulnerable. “I mean, it’s the best gift I’ve ever received and I don’t care who did it, I could kiss the scaly face of Wolfram and Hart for giving you back to me.”

“I’d rather you kiss me,” he said.

She laughed and complied for a few moments.

“I’ll do that for a very long time,” she said, after.

“Dreams do come true,” he said.

“Apparently,” Buffy replied. “At least for Veronica.”

“Hope she’s okay,” said Spike.

“You could always ask her,” said Buffy. “The two of you used to be joined at the hip.”

“Don’t know if all things are repaired by sudden reanimation,” he said. “Bird’s been avoiding me.”

“Maybe it’s hard associating you with this sudden and huge change of life for her,” said Buffy.

Spike shrugged.

“Dunno. Miss her though.”

“Well, I think some time should be made for addressing that,” Buffy said.

“You’re different,” he said, studying her and she suddenly felt nervous.

“Bad different?”

He shook his head.

“My Slayer grew up. You were never young, not even as a delicious nubile baby Slayer,” he said, kissing her shoulder. “But there wasn’t always time for learning life for you. Too much on those shoulders. Too many people to watch out for. Couldn’t properly suss yourself out. Guess now you can.”

“I guess I can, but I’ll be expecting you to take up as much of my time as possible,” she said, oddly touched by his assessment of her.

“I’m very good at that,” he said.

“I know,” she said, kissing him one more time before sliding out of the bed. “Back to the situation at hand.”

“There’s the General,” he grumbled, but threw the covers off and rose, taking off bandages as he went.

She licked her lips, watching him get dressed, before moving to do so herself.

***

Veronica shared her latest dream over breakfast or what would be considered full on lunch in many circles. All it took was one tiny potential apocalypse and her early rising days had flown out the window.

Everyone took the news rather calmly. It didn’t really change most of what they knew, but the conversation then centered on if they should all relocate to Los Angeles.

“Wasn’t the whole point of this to keep Spike safely out of Wolfram and Hart’s hands?” asked Logan.

“We have two new pieces of information,” said Veronica. “He’s going to be there eventually, I know that.”

It amazed her that everyone just accepted that, at once, like now she was the established guru of the future and could set up a fortune teller tent at any carnival that happened upon her path. She supposed most of them had lived with the idea of prophecies and premonitions a lot longer than she had.

“And the other crucial bit of new information, my love?” asked Logan.

“The bounty hunter,” she said. “That coupled with the vampire attack at the Hellmouth tells me that Wolfram and Hart is just going to keep sending their thugs to bring him in. We might as well all keep together instead of spreading our resources and personnel.”

“I love it when you talk shop,” Logan murmured.

Veronica rolled her eyes and ignored him.

“I agree with her,” said Cordelia. “There’s no sense splitting up your source of information,” she pointed to Veronica, “and your bargaining chip,” she pointed to Spike. “Or your muscle,” she said, sticking thumbs out, one at Angel, one at Buffy.

“Boy, do I feel left out,” said Logan.

“It’s not as fun as it looks,” said Buffy wryly.

“But I just want to be included,” he said, pretending to cry.

“Cheer up, Scottie,” said Spike. “You’re more than likely to get all involved before long.”

“So, we’re all agreed that we’ll go to LA?” said Veronica, looking around.

“Sure, come on by,” grumbled Angel. “I’ll just host you all for an indeterminate period of time.” More than one person looked pointedly at him. He sighed. “I know, I know. Um, thanks for your hospitality,” he said toward Veronica and Logan.

Spike chuckled until Buffy poked him.

“Bravo, my Champion,” said Cordelia sarcastically. “Now that we’re all agreed, I say we don’t leave ‘til later so that our favorite vamps with souls don’t immolate as easily.”

“That will give me a chance to wrap some stuff up,” said Veronica.

Everyone quickly dispersed and Veronica made some quick phone calls and left the house, heading toward a familiar location.

She pulled into the Neptune High parking lot right about the same time Mac did.

“Did you just flashback?” asked Mac. “I totally did.”

“Such pleasant memories,” Veronica said. “Ah, there’s the spot where I endured humiliation and mocking for years.”

“It misses you,” said Mac.

“You guys wanna stop reminiscing and let me in on what the hell’s going on?” asked Wallace coming up behind them.

“Wallace, that’s no way to get information,” said Veronica.

“Says you,” he said, leading the way to one of Neptune’s outside lunch tables. “Serves me just fine.”

“With teenagers hiding pot,” said Mac. “We’re the big leagues, Fennel.”

“I’m quaking,” he said. “Now spill.”

Veronica explained the whole thing and as she did Wallace’s face got tighter and more withdrawn and she knew Logan had been right. After making a mental note to never let him know that, she proceeded with the ‘best friend making-up’ part of her day.

“So I just need a teensy favor,” said Veronica.

That actually helped because it was such a familiar mantra of their relationship, she knew.

“What would that be?” he asked dryly.

“Actually, I need Mac to come with me to LA,” said Veronica. “See, you’re off scot free.”

“One of these days, woman, I’m gonna teach you respect for a man’s time,” he said.

Mac snorted and Veronica opened her eyes wide.

“But then we’d never have these moments together.”

“I think I could do without ‘em,” he said. “Why did you drag me here anyway?”

“Because I need you,” said Veronica simply. “I can’t really march off to war with a brand new superpower and not tell my bestest friend every detail.”

“See, the sucking up part is fine,” he said. “Premonitions, huh?”

Veronica nodded, looking past him, ignoring the image of Lilly laughing behind Wallace and then vanishing. That had started happening since she woke up this morning. She wasn’t seeing Lilly everywhere, but there was something new in her outlook, like no matter where she was, there was always something in her peripheral vision. When she concentrated on it, she knew something she couldn’t know or hadn’t known before. It was a bit overwhelming and that was partly why she’d wanted to see Mac and Wallace, the bits of her life before she’d become this walking and talking predictor of the future.

“It’s, uh, slightly unnerving,” she said. “A bit cool. I doubt Logan will be able to keep even the shreds of dignity he had left.”

“Poor man, he has my sympathy,” said Wallace. Veronica raised an eyebrow at him. “What? Ain’t no man should have to deal with his wife knowing the future. Or wife dealing with her husband knowing the future for that matter.”

“How egalitarian of you,” said Mac.

“You okay with this?” he asked, gesturing to Veronica. “Doesn’t freak you out?”

“I’m right here,” she said.

“I’ve got enough power coursing through the web at my finger tips to not be afraid of a little future prediction,” said Mac. “Veronica’s always had this, you know. She’s always figured things out.”

“The past,” said Wallace.

“Not that different from the future,” said Veronica musingly.

“You know this stuff weirds me out,” said Wallace. “But you bring yourselves back in one piece, got it?”

“Yes, Mr. Fennel,” said Veronica.

They chatted and talked for a little while longer until Wallace had to get back to class. Mac peeled out of the parking lot after making arrangements to meet Veronica at her house later.

Veronica stopped in at the office on her own way back, grabbing a few essential items, and settled a few files with her dad while telling him everything new.

He hugged her tightly and told her to be careful.

“This gal?” said Veronica, pointing to herself. “I’m always careful.”

“I can literally see your nose growing,” said her dad. “I love you, Veronica.”

“I love you,” said Veronica. “Always and always.”

“Keep me updated, okay?” asked Keith. “I can be there like that.”

“You’re my first call,” she said, kissing his cheek and leaving.

It was a bit wrenching actually, leaving. When she got back to the house she found Logan had packed almost everything she would have packed for herself and she busied herself getting ready to go.

“Psst, Veronica,” she heard.

When she looked around there was nobody there, but that didn’t mean anything anymore.

“What is it?” she asked Lilly or, more technically, herself.

“She knows now.”

Veronica pondered on that for a while before smiling to herself and continuing to pack.