And Make a Lost World Thy Home: Chapter Two

[jesterladyfic]

Chapter Two:

Logan gingerly set some coffee down on the bedside table next to Veronica. She took a hold of it, but didn’t drink from it.

He was worried. He’d only seen her like this a couple of times, and it had never ended well. Veronica wasn’t the kind of person who let tragedy mow her down; she got up and kicked the hell out of it.

“What do you think is going on?” he asked into the silence.

“Spike is alive,” she said. “Or is going to be. Or something.”

“That’s very crazy,” he pointed out.

“Thanks for the headline,” she said, rolling her eyes at him.

“Sorry,” he said. “Just a little tense.”

“You’re tense?” she said.

“Yes, I’m allowed to be tense when something is happening to you.”

“Granted, but I’m allowed to be more tense.”

“Granted.”

Veronica rolled her shoulders and got off of the bed.

“Well, I have to tell Buffy like I said I would and then I’m going to get some answers about what is going on.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“Well, I’m going to ask Tara to do a reading on me and I’m going to enlist Mac to run some kind of search algorithm. I’ll trust Buffy to have Giles do the old book hunting.”

“What are you hoping to find?” he asked, already knowing what he’d prefer.

“Logan, I hope that nothing happens,” she said. “I mean, Spike was one of the best things that happened to either of us, but if he’s alive then all sorts of crazy stuff could happen and I certainly don’t want to be the one who sees it all coming in my head.”

“It would certainly frighten me,” he said, smirking slightly to hide the seriousness of his statement.

“What I want,” Veronica said, “is to go to work and help my dad and then come home to you and have a baby in the near future. I’ve paid my dues in the magic business. I’ve been body-swapped, nearly killed by a meteor, mesmerized by a Higher Being from another dimension, and fought in an actual battle with vampires. Very much things that aren’t normal for a teenaged private eye.”

“Except you’re not so teenaged anymore,” he pointed out.

“It just sounds more like a title if you’re a teenager,” she said, “like it’s something different than just having a job.”

“Well, with you it is,” he said. “I can’t count the number of times you’ve saved my ass.”

“I’ve counted,” she said.

“I’ll bet you have,” he said, chuckling, and kissed her forehead.

He had a sense of foreboding but her desire to nip this in the bud was reassuring. They had enough supernatural friends without becoming supernatural themselves. For something like this to happen just before they attempted to have a baby would be just too cruel on behalf of the universe.

It had been a very long time before they had decided they were ready. Each of them had to come to terms with their own imperfect parenting and how ill-equipped they would be to raise a child. Logan was actually petrified at the idea, but he also found he wanted it more than anything else these days. What he wanted was a chance to show love and compassion in a way he had never known when he was a child. It would be a form of redemption and healing - at least he hoped it would be. Anything would do so long as they ended up with a child who was healthy and happy.

Veronica, he knew, had the same reservations about being a good parent, but whereas he wanted to be able to prove he could be one, she wanted a chance to see something completely unspoiled by the cynicism she had experienced her whole life. He just hoped they wouldn’t taint the child any more than most good parents would.

In the meantime, now that they had finally made their decisions, he was afraid if anything got in the way of it, one or both of them would freak out and change their minds.

He couldn’t help but look over at the unused pregnancy test sitting innocuously on the bathroom counter, just in sight from the bedroom. She’d gotten home so late she hadn’t taken it and they’d wanted to do it together.

“I can’t,” she whispered, following his line of sight. “Not right now. Just let me figure out what’s going on and then we’ll come back to us, okay?”

“Just don’t forget to come back,” he said, trying to sound like he was joking, but he couldn’t help sounding somewhat desperate.

“Do I have to repeat the epic speech to you again?” she said. “It’s totally unfair that you’re the one who said it and you were so drunk the only reason you know about it is because I’ve drilled it into your head.”

“You know I’m supernaturally eloquent when I’m drunk,” he said. “But the blackout potential is the tradeoff.”

“I made a decision when Warren shot you,” she said, “that it was going to be you and me forever. I’ll never back down on that, never. I can’t.”

“Well, I was a bit confused at the wedding, but now I think I finally get it,” he said.

“I hope you do,” she said, shoving him, then got up, a clear indicator she was done wallowing/being tender. “I’ve got to call Buffy.”

“What are you going to tell her?” he asked, resigned.

“That she should fly out here and go to the Hellmouth with me to see if Spike, or at least the amulet, is there.”

“What?” he said, putting his hand up. “Okay, two dreams isn’t quite drastic enough for a cross-country flight.”

“You didn’t feel it,” said Veronica, her face furrowed. “Spike was in so much pain, Logan. He was the most tangible thing I’d ever felt. He was there.”

“Okay, you’re Veronica Mars,” he said. “Hardboiled and cynical and you don’t believe anything unless you can quantify it with a paper trail and eyewitness accounts.”

“So now I’m going to quantify it with paper trails and eyewitness accounts,” she said, glaring at him. “I’m not following this blindly, Logan. I may be a private investigator, but I’ve also been the victim of a body-swap spell. Okay, nothing’s out of bounds.”

“If you really want to go and see for yourself, why are you dragging Buffy into it?” he said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. “We could just go ourselves.”

“She’s a part of this now. She was in the dream. She’s the Slayer. She and Spike were lovers. How could I not drag her into it?”

Logan put his hands on his hips and turned to look out the window, thinking. He could hear Veronica dressing behind him.

Veronica would do this with or without him. Frankly, the idea of going back into Sunnydale scared the hell out of him. He still had nightmares of being buried under the rubble, Turok-Han clawing at him or Bringers lurking above him. Yet Veronica was clearly experiencing something, he had to admit that. Logan had never been one to back down, and he certainly would never send Veronica anywhere without protection.

“I guess Slayer back up would be good for when it all goes horribly wrong,” he said, turning around.

Veronica smiled at him.

“I love you,” she said.

“Sure, sure,” he said, crossing over to her and leaning down to kiss her. “I’ll be at work, arranging for a lot of time off.”

“Liar,” she said. “You’ll be at the golf course complaining about how you won’t even have the excuse of going into work because the old ball and chain demands your help.”

“One day you will walk a mile in my shoes,” he said.

“They’re too big, I’d trip on the last hole,” she said, winking at him before heading into the bathroom.

Logan shook his head and headed to grab his things, trying to ignore how much he was dreading the next few days.

***

Veronica waited until Logan had left before finally looking herself in the eyes in the mirror and letting her fear show. It wasn’t that she couldn’t show fear in front of him or be honest with him, but at the moment she was so confused she didn’t know what to think.

This dream had been even more surreal than the last one and this time she’d felt Spike’s pain so vividly it was like she herself had just come back to life. Whatever was going on, she needed answers. Spike coming back to life in a new supernatural mess wasn’t that far-fetched an idea. Buffy had come back to life only two years ago herself and that had been her second death. No, as hard as it would be and as much as she didn’t want to deal with whatever would entail, what was scaring Veronica now was that all of this was happening in her head.

She could handle magic and demons and so much more, but not inside her own body. Even when she and Buffy had switched bodies, that hadn’t been something fundamentally changing her as she was, just where she was. She was nervous enough about getting pregnant, let alone having a demon mess with her head or whatever was going on.

She took several deep breaths and let the fear come and then let it drain back out. She would handle this the way she handled everything else. She wanted a different opinion than just Logan’s. As intelligent as she knew him to be, he remained as purposefully ignorant of the supernatural as he could. Veronica picked up the phone and called Tara.

Tara answered the phone cheerfully and Veronica felt better just hearing her voice. The woman had an incredibly soothing presence.

“You sound worried,” Tara said.

“Well, I’ve got one huge mess of a story to tell you,” said Veronica. “I need you to help me figure out what’s going on.”

“I’ll do my best,” Tara promised.

Veronica spilled it all, every detail she could recall and what her plans were and what she was worried about.

“Please tell me what’s happening,” she said. “You are the all-knowing witch and I’m just the woman who knows how to get the money shot.”

“All-knowing might be stretching it a little far,” said Tara wryly.

“Only slightly, so any ideas?”

“First instinct? This is pre-cognition. You’re seeing the future, or a presentation of a possible future.”

Veronica’s heart sank. She hadn’t really thought Tara would just tell her to lay off the heavy food before bedtime, but she’d been hoping for something a little less psychic.

“What do you think it means? Will it keep happening?”

“I don’t know,” said Tara. “I’m sorry, but there’s not much I can tell over the phone.”

“Then you want to meet up like in five seconds?” Veronica asked.

Tara laughed slightly.

“Teleportation spells are a little bit more taxing than that.”

“I know,” Veronica grumbled. “Seriously, though, I need to figure this out. The idea that something else is in my head…it scares the life out of me.”

“There are different types of pre-cognition,” said Tara. “Slayer dreams are common for the Slayer; they come from the source of her power. Some people have visions sent to them from an outside source like Cordelia, the one who works for Angel? Some people are kind of just born psychic…like Spike’s ex, Drusilla.”

“Right, so what do I have?”

“I’ll be able to tell better in person and with some research, but I think you just have the sight. For some reason, it’s manifesting itself in dreams.”

“But why now?”

“Has anything like this ever happened before? Have you dreamt about things before they happened or knew something because of a dream or seen something happen?”

Veronica resolutely did not think about Lilly. She wasn’t willing to think about that just now.

“Maybe…in high school I had some dreams about the kids who died in the bus crash.”

“Was that before or after you traded bodies with Buffy?”

“After.”

“Well, possibly you carried something back with you from her body of the ability to have a Slayer dream.” Tara sighed.

“I don’t want it, how do I turn it off?”

“I-I don’t think you can,” said Tara.

“Tara, no.”

“I’m sorry, Veronica. Listen, I have a class in a few minutes, but why don’t I come over after and I’ll do whatever I can to verify any of these theories?”

“Sure, you can come for dinner,” said Veronica. “Logan will be thrilled.”

“He’s not so thrilled about the rest of it, is he?”

“Can you blame him? I mean, we’re planning on having a baby and suddenly the mommy-to-be starts getting loony in the head, picturing vampires coming back to life.”

“Well, it is a lot to take in, but just make sure you guys keep talking, okay?”

“Yes, Mother Tara.”

“I’ll call you when I’m on my way,” said Tara.

“Thanks. I’m going to call Buffy now. Wish me luck.”

“Tell her if she needs anything, to let me know,” said Tara.

“I will, thank you, Tara. I feel a lot better knowing you’re on the job.”

“That’s nice to hear,” said Tara.

“Bye.”

Veronica hung up the phone and again calculated the time difference to Cleveland. She put off calling for a bit, making calls to clients and getting things ready for the night. She called her dad and asked him to take over her clients for a while, citing not feeling well. She was not going to get him involved in this until she knew much more. He misinterpreted her secrecy and jumped to the conclusion she was already pregnant and she didn’t disabuse him of the notion though she refused to confirm it either.

She felt guilty enough about not taking the test as it was.

When she’d cleared her life of possible complications and couldn’t think of anything to stall with any longer, she picked up the phone and called Buffy.

***

Buffy stepped back, studying her opponent’s chest. Nadia’s left side was telegraphing her next move too clearly. A vampire would have no problem taking advantage of that fact and neither would Buffy if it meant saving Nadia’s life some night in a cemetery or back alley.

Buffy lunged forward, twisting past Nadia’s strike, and slammed her right fist into Nadia’s shoulder blade, then jerked the girl back and to the floor.

“You do it again!” Nadia said, glaring.

“No, you did it again,” said Buffy. “Any vamp will take total advantage of your not so subtle movements.”

“Fine,” said Nadia, rubbing her shoulder. “I know this now. Again.”

Buffy had to admire the woman’s tenacity. She never quit and she always learned from her mistakes. Buffy wished she’d been able to do that when she was just starting out.

“You got it,” she said, readying her stance.

“Buffy, phone!” called Paige from upstairs.

“Who is it?” Buffy asked, her mind, which had been entirely focused and free from worry, suddenly racing with possibilities.

“Don’t know. One of your weird friends.”

Buffy huffed a sigh and grabbed a towel from the railing before heading upstairs, Nadia already turning her attention to the punching bag in the corner.

Buffy rubbed at her neck and got a bottle of water from the fridge before taking the phone out on the porch. She wasn’t super close with the Slayers she lived with. Paige had only been there for a few slightly disastrous weeks and Nadia was often content to keep to herself. Buffy knew that she could do more to get to know them, but they would only be there for six months, tops. Buffy didn’t see the need to worry them about potential resurrections that weren’t even in their jurisdiction.

“Hello,” she said. “Buffy’s Gym.”

“Sorry to break in on the workout,” Veronica said in to her ear.

“Well, I can’t say I’m exactly ecstatic to receive your call,” Buffy replied, her every sense suddenly on alert. “No offense.”

“None taken. I had another dream.”

“Great.”

“It was the same as before except longer. You were there in the cavern with me when he came back.”

“Now I’m directly involved, that’s wonderful.”

“I’m really sorry, Buffy.”

“No, no, it’s not your fault, I’m just panicking a little over here.”

“Can’t be panicking worse than I am. This is happening in my head.”

“Yeah, I know.” Buffy leaned against a porch railing and tried to think. “I just need a second.”

“I talked to Tara.”

“Ooh, Tara’s good.”

“Yes, she thinks I might have contracted Slayer Dream-itis from you when I came back from your body.”

“Maybe,” said Buffy. “That’s really weird though. Am I going to have to contact everyone I’ve switched bodies with about this?”

Veronica laughed a little.

“Well, since I’m the only one who didn’t already have the ability to have Slayer dreams, I think you’re good. Unless there’s something you’re not telling me.”

“No, pretty sure there are no secrets left.”

“Besides, that might not be it. Tara’s going to come and check me out later. Either way, I have some sort of pre-cognition thing going on. That means…well, that means…”

“Spike’s coming back,” Buffy finished tightly.

“I think we need to go there,” said Veronica. “You were in the dream with me. You need to come out here and we have to go into the Hellmouth. I can’t explain it, but I know that needs to happen.”

“Compulsion is a powerful thing,” said Buffy, feeling the beginnings of a headache. “On the other hand, self-fulfilled prophecy is a great way to get yourself killed. It could be what someone’s counting on.”

“You’re right, of course,” said Veronica. “Which is why I want to keep on trying to figure out exactly what is happening to me, because I’m freaking out a little. On the other hand, I still think it’s something we need to do.”

“You could have a spell on you,” said Buffy.

“Yes, a very powerful one. But in the meantime, I’d feel really good if the Slayer were here to back me up and we could go check out the cavern at a moment’s notice if need be.”

“Well, it’s a little drive,” said Buffy.

“Far shorter than from Cleveland,” said Veronica. “I don’t want to guilt you into this, honestly, but…he was in so much pain, Buffy. What if he’s already down there alone and can’t move?”

“What if it’s not really him?” Buffy asked in a small voice, fully feeling the import of Veronica’s words.

“It was Spike,” said Veronica. “I felt it was him.”

“You don’t feel things, you prove them,” said Buffy.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings,” said Veronica. “Come here and prove me wrong; I’m begging you to prove me wrong.”

“It better be him,” said Buffy. “I can’t see Spike and have it not be Spike. Oh, I can’t…” she swallowed her words, not even knowing how to articulate what she meant.

“I know,” said Veronica. “Buffy, I am so sorry I’m doing this to you.”

“I know,” said Buffy. “Okay, you convinced me. I’m coming. I’ll get a flight and text you the details.”

Veronica sighed with relief and Buffy could almost see the weight of all the decisions coming off of her shoulders and walking the length of the country to settle into old, familiar, and painful quarters on top of her own. It felt good in a way, but Buffy didn’t want to be responsible for the world by herself anymore. It turned her hard and she didn’t like that. She’d had relief, her only pain grief, for the last five years. She’d take that normal pain, shared by millions of people in the world, over the abnormal pain of world saving any day.

“Thank you,” said Veronica. “It will be good to see you, circumstances notwithstanding.”

“You too,” said Buffy. “Let me know what Tara says.”

“Will do. Have a safe flight.”

“Thank you.”

Buffy hung up the phone and sagged down on to the porch swing for a minute. She put her head in her hands and let herself feel scared and worried. It didn’t last long. She’d done this too often to let herself wobble in emotional vulnerability. On the other hand, she’d too often walled herself up behind her Slayer duties and hadn’t allowed herself to truly feel. She’d missed too many opportunities that way. Perhaps another Slayer could handle whatever apocalypse might be dealt out, but this one was personal. This was Spike and Buffy wasn’t going to let either of her extremes keep her from handling this.

She stood up, steel back in her spine, and headed into the house.

“Girls, I’ve got to go to California,” she said. Nadia had evidently finished her work out and was headed for the shower; Paige was clicking channels on the remote. “I’ll leave as soon as I can. Don’t know when I’ll be back.”

“Slayer business?” asked Nadia.

“I don’t know,” said Buffy. “Maybe. Either way, it’s personal. I’ll brief you when I know more and if I need you.”

“Yes,” said Nadia.

“You got it,” said Paige sardonically, already turning back to the tv.

“Keep an eye on Shorepoint cemetery, okay?” said Buffy. “Some hinky stuff going on there the last few nights.”

“We will,” said Nadia.

Buffy nodded back to her and went to her room, grabbing a bag and tossing stuff into it. She called the airline and found herself a seat and then called and left Giles a message.

Out of options and needing to wait for a flight, she put in a call to Dawn, suddenly needing to talk to her sister.

“I’ve got five minutes before I must study,” said Dawn, answering the phone.

“You might want to take ten,” said Buffy.

“What’s the matter?” asked Dawn immediately, her tone sharp. “Are you okay?”

“Relax. But…I’m going to Neptune.”

“Why? Are Veronica and Logan okay? Is Tara okay?”

“Yes, to all of the above, apart from the fact I may have inadvertently given Veronica the ability to have Slayer dreams and she has now twice dreamt that Spike came back to life in the Hellmouth.”

“Repeat that in non-crazy talk,” said Dawn, after a stunned silence.

Buffy told her everything Veronica had told her and what Giles and Tara had said.

“So I’m going.”

“I’m coming, too,” said Dawn. “I’ll get a flight and meet you there.”

“No,” said Buffy, aware she was going to have to play this card. “You’ve got finals and we don’t know anything for sure.”

“Buffy, this is Spike,” said Dawn.

“As if I don’t know that,” said Buffy. “Dawn, it’s the man I love we’re talking about, so don’t act like I don’t know this is important. But we don’t know the actual truth.”

“I’m not a little kid anymore,” said Dawn, “and I loved him, too. So, no, I’m coming.”

“Dawn, you will not,” said Buffy. “I’m asking you, begging you, to stay there and finish the normal and wonderful education that I didn’t get to have. You only have a short time and then you’re done. After that, you can do whatever you want. If something bad happens, I’ll let you know.”

“Not everyone wants what you want,” said Dawn.

“You can’t fool me, Dawnie,” said Buffy. “You love studying, for some weird Willow-rubbed-off-on-you reason. This is your dream and I don’t want you to give it up unless it’s actually life or death.”

“I do love studying,” said Dawn, pouting. “But you know that as soon as I get the normal degree Giles is requiring due to some stupid desire to make sure Watchers have a practical handle on the world, as if I didn’t, I’m going into the Watcher’s Academy and I’ll be knee deep in demonology for the rest of my life.”

“Way to convince me to let you come,” said Buffy.

“I’m just saying your logic about me pursuing normal is faulty.”

“I’m saying I love you and I’m glad you get to do all the research forever.”

“Fine, I love you, too,” said Dawn grumpily.

“You are such a nitwit,” said Buffy. “But thanks for staying.”

“The minute finals are over, I’m coming,” Dawn warned.

“And I will welcome you with open arms.”

“And with Spike,” said Dawn.

“If so, I hope it’s really Spike,” said Buffy softly. “Dawnie, what if it’s not him? What if I go through all of this and he’s still really gone? What if I have to put him down again? Or what if it’s really him and I have to deal with him suddenly being back in my life?”

“What if you never try and you spend the rest of your life wondering?” said Dawn. “Buffy, this is big and you gotta do your job.”

“Including slaying Spike?”

“Including saving the world and Spike,” said Dawn. “Let me know if I can help, okay?”

“I will. Don’t worry about us either. We’ll be fine and I’ll keep you updated.”

“I love you contractually,” said Dawn.

“I love you actually,” said Buffy.

Dawn muttered something and Buffy stifled a smile.

“I do have to actually study,” said Dawn. “If I’m actually going to take these finals and actually finish this stupid paper.”

“Okay, I’ll text you when I land.”

“Thank you.”

“Bye, Dawnie.”

Buffy hung up the phone. A few minutes later her phone beeped with a text message from Dawn full of abbreviated words and symbols she didn’t really understand, but that was okay, she got the intent.

Buffy texted Veronica her flight info and then collapsed back on the bed. She’d get a shower, she’d finish packing, and then she was headed back to the mouth of hell. Or at least, Neptune, which Veronica and Logan were always saying made Sunnydale look like a walk in the park.