Among the Deepening Shades: Chapter Eight

[jesterladyfic]

Chapter Eight

It had been a nightmarish couple of days. George came down the stairs from the attic, the feeling of being in the same room with Herrick crawling on his skin. Nina followed him. She slumped on to the steps and he stopped.

“Are you okay?”

They hadn’t really talked for awhile. She’d been pulling a lot of shifts at work to make up for being sick and someone was always stationed at the house to make sure that the vampires were kept under control. George hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep lately between making sure Mitchell didn’t stake Herrick, Herrick didn’t use his crazy to expose them all, and Daisy and Cara didn’t go on some kind of killing spree from sheer boredom.

Nina rubbed her temple.

"Before, in the kitchen, you agreed to murder."

He started, because that had been days ago, and he’d been hoping they could forget everything that happened that day. Certainly he didn’t want to talk about it but it was obviously staying in her mind until they did.

"It's not the same," he said quietly.

"No thought, no question. Just agreed."

George felt an irrational surge of irritation. She couldn’t know how terrifying this was, how hard it was to look into the face of the man he’d killed. Every part of George was questioning this. Really, it was too much to ask, to be rational in the face of a situation like this. The woman he'd cheated with on one hand, someone he'd killed on the other, while his pregnant girlfriend stood in the middle.

"Look, I know this is really hard for you to understand, you weren't really there, but Herrick…is dangerous."

"He wasn't the one looking dangerous to me.” He didn’t want to hear her talk about how crazy Mitchell had been. George had seen that for himself. “We're going to have a baby,” she continued. “I don't want our baby to have a father who sticks his fingers-"

He interrupted her, beginning to leave.

"I'm not listening to this."

"-in his ears and agrees to murder like it's nothing."

He wheeled around.

“You think it’s nothing? Out of the two of us, which one has actually committed murder? I know what it is, Nina, don’t tell me, don’t you dare tell me I don’t know.”

She stood up.

“I watched you do it, George, I understand well enough. I know what it’s like to want to watch the world burn around you, but I can’t let myself be that.”

“I changed my mind, in case you didn’t notice.”

“Yes, but not for the right reasons, I can see that. I don’t know why you did, but it certainly wasn’t because you agreed with me.”

“Vampires are dangerous,” he said, “isn’t that what you always say? Well, Herrick’s the worst of them all.”

“Well, don’t you always say we need to judge people based on what they do? I’m trying. Herrick hasn’t done anything. Maybe he has in the past, but clearly something’s happened and he doesn’t remember. I’m not going to condemn that shivering, pathetic man based on something he can’t even remember.”

“Now you start listening, great,” he said, throwing his hands up. “It’s not the same. Herrick is different.”

“We don’t get to pick and choose who’s different,” she said quietly. “You don’t get to have Mitchell and then treat everyone else by different standards.”

“It’s not the same thing,” he said again.

“The hell it isn’t,” she said loudly. “I look at Cara and Daisy and I want to rip their throats out. Something inside me longs to bathe in their blood and eradicate the threat I sense in them.”

“It’s just that we’ll be transforming tonight,” he said weakly.

“No, no, no,” came a new voice as Daisy sauntered onto the landing. “Baby, that’s inside you all the time.”

“Go away, Daisy,” George said, squeaking.

“That’s not what you said before,” she said, smirking at him.

“I-I, don’t know…what you mean,” he said, going for casual.

This was the very last thing he needed right now, to have Nina and Daisy in the same room. He regretted having been with Daisy every second of every day, but this was not the time to have that particular folly brought into the light.

Nina was already looking like she wanted to murder him.

“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten,” said Daisy, pouting. “After all we’ve been through.”

“How’s your daughter?” he practically shouted.

Daisy stopped cold and he regretted bringing it up. Daisy had never seemed like the type to forgive easily.

“Died a few weeks back,” said Daisy. “Natural causes, I’m afraid.”

“I’m, I’m sorry,” he said.

Nina got up from where she’d sunk to the stairs again and pushed past them, obviously annoyed.

“Don’t go,” said Daisy. “We were just getting to the good part.”

“You don’t get to talk to me,” said Nina, stepping close to her.

“Fine, I’ll just talk to Georgie there. Reminisce on all the good times.”

“You clearly want to say something,” said Nina, “so just say it and get it over with.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” said Daisy innocently. “I wear my heart on my sleeve, open for all to see.”

“That’s not all you wear open,” said Nina.

“I haven’t had any complaints yet,” said Daisy. “George certainly never did.”

“Shall we all go downstairs?” said George desperately.

Nina’s face started to twitch and George got the feeling she was catching on. Nina stepped closer to Daisy and then sniffed the air.

“The perfume,” she said in the quiet voice that usually meant she was about to unleash her rage. “You stink of it. That morning,” she said, turning to George, “that morning I told you what happened. You reeked of her perfume.”

“I don’t, don’t know what-”

“Then you had the gall to accuse me of fancying Mitchell. George, you’re the most despicable bastard I’ve ever met. I honestly don’t know what goes on in your head. Do you just do whatever flits inside it next?”

“Nina, I’m sorry,” said George. “It didn’t mean anything.”

“Now I’m hurt,” said Daisy, but she was smiling and George knew it was revenge for bringing up her daughter. “But I see I’ve caused somewhat of a disturbance. I had no idea Nina didn’t know, George. I’ll just let you two work it out.”

She turned and sauntered downstairs.

“There’s nothing to work out,” said Nina, pushing past George. “We’re done here.”

“Nina, wait,” said George, catching her arm. “Let me, let me explain.”

“There’s nothing to explain,” said Nina, tears falling down her face. “George, you let me live with you and you were… I thought I’d finally made the right choice, but maybe it was just the same choice all over again.”

He felt his heart shatter, but then, her face…

“Don’t say that. Nina.”

“I needed you,” Nina said. “I need you, but it’s never about me. It’s about Mitchell or Annie or bloody Daisy. About what you did to me, about what you’re going through.” She stopped, shaking her head in disbelief. “I had to comfort you. You’re selfish, self-obsessed, and right when I needed you the most, you cheated on me. You are pathetic and low and the worst specimen of a man I’ve ever seen.”

Every word she said made it feel like he was dying, but somewhere inside him, he knew it was his own fault. He didn’t want to accept that. If he did, then everything would break all over again.

“It was about the wolf, Nina,” George said weakly.

“Yeah, convenient,” she said. “You can have the cellar tonight. I’m leaving.”

“Nina, no. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No!” she said, wheeling on him. “I get to leave and you don’t get a say.”

“The baby,” he tried again.

“You should’ve thought of that before,” she said. “Maybe I’ll let you know if it survives the night. Maybe I won’t, because that news might just hurt you unnecessarily and we can’t have that.”

She pushed past him to their room and grabbed her ready-made transformation bag and went downstairs. George followed her after a second, unable to accept this being the end of everything.

“Nina, what’s going on?” asked Annie. “You were shouting.”

“I’m leaving,” said Nina. “You guys can play vampires and werewolves until you tear yourselves apart, but I can’t do it anymore. Not with that thing in the house,” she said, pointing at Daisy. “Not with him,” she said, not even looking at George.

“Nina, I’m sorry, wait,” said George.

She left without saying another word.

“George, what happened?” asked Annie.

“I slept with Daisy, Nina found out,” said George.

“You what?” asked Annie.

“It was before,” said George, not really feeling like explaining.

“Where’s she going?” asked Mitchell.

“To the woods,” said George, putting his face over his hands.

“She shouldn’t be alone. Not with the baby,” said Mitchell.

“She won’t talk to me,” said George.

“I’m going,” said Annie and rent-a-ghosted away.

George felt a slight rush of gratitude toward Annie and sank down on the floor.

Mitchell and Daisy stood above him, one sorrowful, the other mocking.

George rubbed his face trying to put together what had just happened.

He’d met Daisy less than a year before but the events of being with her…it was all a blur. There had been so much anger, so much frustration, flooding him at the time. He couldn’t, even now, blame what he’d done on Nina, despite the fact that she’d been avoiding him like the plague at the time.

But he had been going through a lot back then. His nighttime visions had been filled with blood and sinew and bone, Herrick’s screams echoing in the air. His waking days had been filled with anxious hovering from Annie, Mitchell’s gradual drifting, and Nina’s determined distance. It had been hell and just unleashing himself had been the only outlet for that pain.

For a person so long downtrodden, forced to run and hide, continually suppressing his own urges, the rush of power that had shuddered through him after knowing he’d killed a man, made him both sick and elated. He’d been aggressive, moody, and raring to fight. Sometimes he’d felt invincible.

Daisy had been like a siren song, calling for him to dash himself on the rocks. For awhile he’d listened because it was so much better than the weary routine of feeling unloved and feeling powerless. The moments when he’d been pounding into her had been liberating. But that had all ended…ended the moment Nina had told him what happened.

He’d walked through that day in a blur, her words repeating over and over in his head. You gave it to me, George. He could never forgive himself for that. Suddenly, shagging a vampire seemed a petty sin in comparison to damning Nina to the same hell he’d been living in for three years. It was true, he’d held on to her, sobbing, while she’d given him absolution he didn’t deserve.

But none of this, none of it would have happened if George hadn’t been wrapped up in a world of supernatural intrigue, in danger because of who he was and who he lived with. Herrick had gone after him because of Mitchell. George had killed Herrick in the first place because of Mitchell. Daisy had come to town because of what George had done. It was all one vicious cycle of choices that seemed to draw back to one choice.

“George, I’m sorry, mate,” said Mitchell, thrusting a glass under his nose.

“This is all your fault,” George said wearily.

“How is this my fault?” asked Mitchell. “I’m not the one that slept with Daisy.”

“Well, that’s not true,” said Daisy.

George sputtered and looked up.

“When I was with someone else,” amended Mitchell. “George, what the hell were you thinking?”

“I’m right here,” said Daisy.

“Would you go wrangle Cara or something?” said Mitchell, sounding annoyed.

“No way, this is too good,” said Daisy, hopping back onto the bar.

“I never would have even met her if it wasn’t for you,” said George angrily.

“No, you’d be dead,” said Mitchell. “Also, you probably wouldn’t have met Nina either. So, which would you rather have?”

“I-I killed Herrick for you,” said George, raising a ragged face to Mitchell. “It…changed me.”

“I begged you to let me do it,” said Mitchell. “I warned you.”

“I, didn’t, didn’t understand,” said George. “I keep…changing. It’s never sleeping, and I always pay the consequences. I just…”

“Hey, I get that more than anyone,” said Mitchell. “But you taught me to accept the blame for my actions. Maybe you need to do the same. Nobody forced you to sleep with Daisy and I tried to keep you from running after her that night.”

“You’re not helping,” growled George, fighting the urge to take a swing at Mitchell. “Nina’s gone.”

“She can’t stay gone,” said Mitchell. “It’s not safe for her out there, she’ll realize that. But it’s up to you to convince her to stay and that won’t be done by taking cheap shots at me and Daisy.”

“Mitchell’s right, honey,” said Daisy. “But that doesn’t mean it’s what you have to do. You’ve had a taste of what it’s like to let go, isn’t that better than wallowing in the mud?”

“Then tell me why you let your daughter live!” roared George.

Daisy smiled.

“I wanted to be able to feel. The older you get,” her eyes looked past them, “the more you can’t feel. My Ivan couldn’t feel at all except through me. You have to find someone, find something to tether you to the feelings.”

“So losing Nina is supposed to help with that?” George asked.

“Not at all,” said Daisy. “I’m not trying to help you. I’m simply telling you facts. What you do with them is your choice and my pleasure to watch.”

“You’re nothing,” said George.

“Once I was everything,” said Daisy enigmatically. “If Nina means anything at all to you like I meant to Ivan, then you’re the one who’s nothing.” She stretched luxuriously. “Well, I left Cara sleeping, but the poor thing’s gonna be up and at Herrick soon enough. Best stand guard and all that.”

Mitchell sat down beside George as Daisy left.

“Can I get you anything?” he asked finally.

“You sound like Annie,” muttered George.

Mitchell laughed slightly.

“Thanks, but, seriously, can I?”

“I need to think,” said George.

“Okay. I’m here if you need me. Just…don’t forget about the moon,” said Mitchell, a touch of panic in his voice.

George couldn’t. He could feel it, traveling closer and closer. It was some hours still before it would be here, but George felt it. It hammered inside his skull, whispering of freedom and no consequences. He already wanted to kill every last vampire in the house. These choices were eating away at his conscience.

George wanted normality, he wanted a life, and he wanted Nina and their child. But…he wanted to reconcile his demons. It felt like the power and the rage the wolf fueled were simply extensions of his own emotions. If he were to lose that now, it would be a loss. Even more devastating would be the loss of Annie and Mitchell. They were his friends, his family, the only people who knew him as he truly was. He felt lost without them.

But without Nina he felt dead. It was like the strength to lift his limbs had been taken from him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, and could barely think. So, in light of that knowledge, he stopped making excuses and he just felt…shame, such shame, and he wanted nothing more than her forgiveness. Nothing more than her love. Whatever it was he would lose, it was not worth losing her. She was worth everything. A hundred Mitchells and a hundred Annies and a million Daisys. She was worth more than anything the wolf could ever give him; more than a normal life could ever give him.

He thought about what Daisy said then, about how Ivan couldn’t feel. Maybe one could learn to feel from other people’s example. Ivan had loved Daisy enough to come after George, had loved Mitchell enough to save him. Maybe nobody was hopeless. That didn’t solve George’s problem, but it renewed his faith in the idea that love was important and that taking care of the people you loved was important. George had been taking care of Annie and Mitchell, or letting them take care of him, for too long. Nina had to be his everything and not out of guilt but out of choice.

He hadn’t truly made that conscious decision before, but now he did, maybe when it was too late. The wolf was howling inside him for justice, for punishment, but there was one thing George knew the wolf agreed with him about, that was their love for Nina. Everything else was inconsequential. He had to give her a full explanation and apology if nothing else. They were on the verge of changing, with no idea of what it would do to their unborn child. He had to be there.

George got up. He was going after her.

***

It didn’t take Annie long to find Nina. She was out of town, going toward the woods.

“Nina, wait,” she said.

“Go back, Annie,” said Nina, still walking.

“You can’t be out here on your own, it’s not safe.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the scariest thing for miles,” Nina said numbly.

“What about the baby?”

“Either it will die or it will live. Any way it goes, the baby doesn’t have a father anymore.”

“Nina, I-I can’t begin to imagine that pain, well, I can, it happened to me, but, but just striking off on your own isn’t going to help. What if something happens to you? You’re pregnant, you need help.”

“And you’re going to give it to me?” asked Nina, stopping and looking at Annie. “Let’s face it, Annie, if it’s a choice between me and George, you’re going to pick him.”

“That’s not true,” said Annie, feeling hurt. “I love George, but he’s hurt you. That’s not right.”

“No, not even a little bit,” said Nina. “But I can’t stay there, Annie.”

“Because of George?”

“Because of the whole situation. We just invited three new vampires into our lives.”

“You were the one who wanted Herrick helped.”

“I didn’t want him killed,” said Nina. “That doesn’t mean I want to open a supernatural hostel.”

“So why did you vote to let him stay?”

Nina stopped and sat down on a rock, sighing.

“Annie, the war inside me to keep from destroying everything is a vicious one. I see the world differently now and every day the desire for violence is stronger. Every day I’ve been pregnant…it gets stronger. So I know there are two wolves inside of me now and I don’t have the strength to fight them both. Not at the same time we’ve got four vampires prancing around. But…at the same time, I couldn’t just let Mitchell stake someone who had no idea what was going on. It’s the lesser of two evils maybe, I don’t know.”

Annie listened with a rising dread. It was true; ever since she’d been pregnant Nina had been grumpier, curt, and less inclined for bonding. Perhaps that couldn’t be put up to just hormones. Especially because even Annie’s untrained eye could see Nina was getting bigger much faster than she should be. Either that or she was having a whole litter.

“I’m sorry,” said Annie. “I wish I could tell you things would change, but as far as I can tell, there is no normal life, no life that we used to have, for any of us. That’s not going to change if you leave us.”

“I know,” said Nina, putting her hand to her head, “but I need it to be more normal. I can’t raise a baby like this. I don’t even know if I can raise one at all.”

“Nina…”

“I know that’s not what you want to hear, but, Annie, I’m terrified. Now I’m terrified and alone. So…just leave me alone.”

“No,” said Annie. “I’m not leaving you by yourself. Mitchell said it wasn’t safe and I believe him.”

“You always do,” said Nina.

“What does that mean?”

“Annie, you can’t hide your feelings from me.”

Annie blushed.

“What-what feelings? I don’t…know…what you mean.”

“You’re a piss poor liar,” said Nina wryly. “I don’t blame you, but be careful, Annie.”

“I am,” said Annie. “I’m not going to say anything.”

“Good,” said Nina.

“This isn’t about me,” said Annie, “this is about you.”

“Yeah, for once,” said Nina. “I cannot…go back to the house if the vampires are still there.”

“Then we’ll make them leave,” said Annie.

“Oh, Mitchell will go for that, I’m sure,” said Nina, laughing scornfully. “Idiot doesn’t know what he wants, a cure for dying is dangling in front of him and yet he’s so terrified of the past he wants to kill it at the same time.”

Annie stopped for a second and thought about that.

“You’re right,” she said. “I’ve been ignoring the prophecy for too long. Time I did something about it.”

“What are you going to do?” asked Nina, as if there was nothing to be done.

A voice sounded behind them. Annie turned and was both glad and sorry to see George, huffing for breath behind them.

“Nina,” he said, doubling over.

“Piss off, George,” said Nina flatly.

“Maybe this isn’t a good time,” said Annie nervously.

George shook his head.

“No, I have to. Nina, I’m sorry, I’m wrong, I’m crap, I’m everything awful, but don’t leave…it’s not safe. I’ll leave or, or something, but…the baby, has to be safe.”

“I think the baby’s in equal danger whether I transform here or in the cellar,” said Nina quietly. “Mitchell’s prophecies notwithstanding.”

“What prophecies?” asked George and Annie together.

Nina rolled her eyes.

“I’m not explaining now. Ask him if you want to, but I can’t handle this right now.”

“Annie,” said George, turning to her, “could you give us a bit of privacy, please?”

Annie turned to Nina, not about to leave them alone if Nina didn’t want her to.

“Nina?”

Nina didn’t say anything for a moment or two.

“It’s okay,” she finally said. “Annie, don’t leave Mitchell alone with the vampires.”

“Are you sure?” asked Annie. “He’s been a gigantic prat and I don’t mind saying so.”

“Annie!” said George.

“You have,” she said, swatting at his arm.

“I know,” he said, glaring at her.

“Annie, we might as well have…it all out,” said Nina. “We’re going to transform soon anyway. I can just as well rip his head off out here.”

Annie didn’t know what to think of that so she flung her arms around George and then Nina.

“Be careful,” she said and rent-a-ghosted back home.

Herrick was playing with a train set in the attic. Daisy was doing her nails while Cara paced. Mitchell was sitting at the bottom of the stairs with his head in his hands.

Annie didn’t let any of them see her. She instead got the small handheld television set George had in his room and went to the basement.

For a few minutes she simply looked at it in fear. She couldn’t believe she was about to do this, but she had to figure out what was going on.

She set it down in the corner and sat opposite it. Reaching inside herself as Sykes had taught her, she turned on the telly.

“Lia,” she said hoarsely and then cleared her throat. “Lia, get the hell down here,” she said in a more authoritative voice.

Static sounds filled the air for a moment or two before Lia’s face appeared.

“Annie, I guess you’re not so okay, after all. What can I do, pet?”

“You can shut up unless you want to tell me what the hell that was about just now,” Annie said.

“I already told you,” said Lia innocently.

Annie shook her head.

“No, see I don’t believe you. You’re part of this, whatever it is. You called at exactly the right time. You wanted to remind Mitchell he’s going to die. You’ve got a vested interest in that, I know, but somehow I don’t think your pay grade is pulling the strings.”

Lia leaned back.

“Well, that is an interesting theory. I’ll have to bring it up at the next meeting. But…Annie, believe me, apart from me wanting to see him in the worst pain possible, we have no interest in Mitchell whatsoever. We’re far more interested in you.”

The idea sent chills up and down Annie’s spine, but she kept control.

“Why?” she asked calmly. “I know I’m supposed to be different and that I've messed up the administrative cogs and all, but there’s nothing special about me.”

“Annie, love,” said Lia, “you’re the most interesting ghost I’ve ever seen. You’ve actually been visible.”

“About that,” said Annie, interested in spite of herself, “how come?”

Lia shrugged her shoulders.

“Not supposed to happen. But you just pull out all the stops, don’t you? Occasionally it happens when someone’s resolving their unfinished business, but never just because. Your attachment to life was so strong that you willed yourself visible. It’s amazing.”

“Why can’t I do it now?” asked Annie.

“Had to put the kebob on that,” said Lia, waggling her finger. “It was interesting to watch and all, but you just kept on breaking the rules, getting a job and dating people who were alive. Tsk, tsk.”

“What business is that of yours?” asked Annie.

“We control death,” said Lia like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “You belong to us.”

Annie clenched her hands in anger.

“Then why let me go?”

“Procedures. We just love following the rules. You have to come through, preferably the right door.”

“No, there’s something else,” said Annie. “Why involve Mitchell at all?”

“Mitchell involved himself,” said Lia.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” said Annie. “If you want something with me, the best way to get it is to ask. I don’t like mind games, never have. I don’t think you’re being straight with me and I’m thinking…maybe I should speak to your boss.”

"You're not strong enough," Lia warned.

Annie paused before speaking very deliberately.

"I think about what and who I love and I think about them in danger and I could tear this bloody house down with my teeth. You have no idea how strong I am.”

“Maybe not,” said Lia, smiling and blinking out of view.

A creeping dread came over Annie and she saw something she both feared and had forgotten she feared.

The Gray Man.

“Annie,” he said, his voice grating. “A pleasure to see you again.”

“No,” she said, her voice shaking. “No, not you.”

“Aren’t you strong enough?” he asked mockingly.

Annie closed her eyes and thought of Mitchell sitting on the stairs.

“I’m stronger than even I know,” she said, feeling somewhat of that white hot rage she remembered feeling just before she’d gotten to Kemp. “Now you listen to me. Leave Mitchell alone.”

“What has been foretold cannot be untold,” he said.

“What’s been foretold?” she asked impatiently. “Everything’s so vague with you people.”

“A wolf has to complete their journey. Mitchell must face this for them.”

“What wolf? Why?”

“I do not know. I do not need to.”

“Who makes this prophecy?”

“It is simply made,” said the Gray Man.

“How did you find out about it then?” she asked.

“It is simply known,” he said.

“You’re full of crap,” she said, shaking her head.

“The prophecy is made, there is nothing to be done,” said the Gray Man. “But you can take your place among us. A special place has been prepared. You have proven yourself worthy.”

“No way,” said Annie.

“You can save yourself the pain,” said the Gray Man. “That is all.”

“I will never turn my back on the people I love,” said Annie. “I will stop this. You’ll see.”

“You are welcome to try,” said the Gray Man. “The men will be waiting for you.”

Annie shuddered and turned the telly off, curling herself up into a ball in the corner. She felt sick and if she had a body she would probably have been heaving; she was still angry and afraid, but she was also determined. Taking Kemp had been the hardest thing she’d ever done. But she’d do that a hundred times over if it meant protecting Mitchell. No matter what he’d done.

She couldn’t deny what she felt. She loved him, was in love with him, whatever anyone wanted to call it. What she’d felt and thought about Owen was meager compared to the fierce desire she had curling inside her gut. It didn’t matter if he didn’t feel the same way. It didn’t even matter if she told him or not. He’d saved her, now she was going to save him. Just as soon as she figured out how.

***

As soon as Annie was gone, George turned to Nina and held out a placating hand.

“I-I know you’re not okay, but, how-how do you feel? I mean, with the baby…and the moon?”

Nina’s fury was still seething beneath her skin and if she had her claws out she’d be extremely tempted to try and rip his heart out of his chest so he could feel the way she was feeling. But there was something about the way he looked at her, the way his voice cracked, the way he’d come after her, that sent a calm through her. He always had that effect on her. George was probably the least safe man she’d ever been with in actuality, but he’d always made her feel safe. That comfort was stripped, but the calming effect was still there.

“I don’t know,” she said flatly. “I guess we’ll just have to see.”

George nodded and then spoke again.

“Nina, can you, can you let me explain what happened? I don’t want, I can’t, justify it, but you deserve the truth.”

“The sordid details of your love affair with Daisy McTramp, the vampire? No thank you,” she said.

“I don’t mean that,” said George, rubbing his face. “I just meant, how it happened at all. It’s not about her or, or you, it was…my fault, my…darkness.”

“It’s not about you, it’s about me?” Nina asked, rolling her eyes.

“We don’t have a normal relationship, Nina,” George said, his voice rising. “The normal rules don’t apply, or at least don’t make sense. Can’t you see that?”

“Oh, I see a lot of things now,” said Nina. “But, go on, explain to me what happened, tell me how you weren’t in control, how it was a one time thing.”

“It was,” said George. “I slept with her once. But even that’s not what I want to say.”

“What is it, George?” asked Nina, leaning back against her rock. “What could it possibly be?”

She closed her eyes and listened to him talk, sometimes angry, always sad, lost and directionless.

“None of this is your fault,” he said firmly. “I know you know that, but I just…mean that no matter what I say next, I’m not blaming you. Everything is my fault.”

“Got it in one,” she said crisply.

He paused and continued.

“Killing Herrick did something to me,” he said. “I-I liked it. There was power there. I wanted to rip the world apart. To not feel that way would be to feel the guilt. I had to keep that anger in place. It might have been different if I could have turned to someone but…Mitchell was wallowing, Annie was flitting about, you wouldn’t even look at me. Again, not your fault, but I felt wrong because of the way you treated me. I didn’t know why and I couldn’t understand why you refused to leave. It just…frustrated me and I wanted to feel something, to feel like I wasn’t the scum of the earth.”

“Good job with that,” she said, still not looking at him.

“Excellent,” he said glumly. “I was getting attacked. Every vampire out to make a name for themselves wanted to kill the great Herrick killer. I’ve always been weak, Nina, always, but for one moment I was powerful and then it was gone and I was weak again. They wanted to kill me and I couldn’t stop them. The latest was Daisy and I snapped. I wanted to kill her so I ran after her. Mitchell tried to stop me and I went anyway. Daisy was different…she wasn’t trying to kill me; not really, she…her problem is that she can’t settle. She needs something, always searching for the next thing. That’s what Ivan loved about her, I think. She decided I was her next thing, she kissed me.”

“I didn’t want the sordid details, remember?” said Nina, flinching.

“That’s all,” said George. “I went to transform the next day and I wanted it, wanted it so badly. I wanted to feel that power again. When I woke up, there Daisy was, talking about letting it all go, giving up the restraint. So I did.” He paused for a moment and then kept going, his voice trembling. “I came home and you told me what happened. I-I-I, it stripped it away. Nina, oh, Nina, I’d done to you what was tearing me apart. And I couldn’t do anything about it and, suddenly, that was much worse than anything I could ever do with Daisy.”

“We could take bets,” said Nina, opening her eyes and watching him.

He was hunched over, tears falling openly.

“I met Daisy again at the hospital,” said George. “She was going to kill her daughter. She’d already tried. She wanted to rip the last thing connecting her to her humanity apart. Nina, I couldn’t be her. I couldn’t be her. So I went to find you and…I’m so sorry. I don’t have an excuse, I was myself and that scares me. But…do you see how? I mean, how very little it meant, but how much it means that you’re…you’re everything. The wolf destroyed my life and yours, but somehow it cares about you too.”

“I know,” said Nina.

Her mind had gone far away back to the night she’d entered this world of supernatural lunacy. George’s eyes, staring at her through the face of a monster, her vision limited to the width of a peephole, blood dripping down her arm, the hair standing up on the back of her neck.

Mitchell’s and Annie’s frantic voices had quieted as Nina had stared at the wolf. He’d stared back, slowly pacing around the room. There was an electric connection through their eyes and she’d barely been able to move. There was something there, in those eyes, in that wolf, that recognized her, that wanted her. It had been terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. That, almost more than anything, had made her fight for their relationship.

She’d walked away. She’d felt that pull toward darkness, the same as what he’d just described. He’d indulged, she’d run. Neither of them had found peace. She wondered if that meant they were destined to ruin or if there was another answer somewhere in between.

“You do?” he asked, sudden hope in his voice.

“George,” she said, clearing her throat, “George, I can’t live like this.”

“Like what?” he asked.

“Constantly bombarded,” she said. “I’m so tired. I’m about to have a baby and there are so many variables in that alone. Add in the wolf and your little affair and I want to scream and cry and throw things and just tear everyone’s throats out. I can’t live like this.”

He made a wounded sound in the back of his throat.

“Even if you walk away now,” he said, “those things will follow you.”

“They already have,” she said, gesturing to him. “I tried running away already and it didn’t work.”

“What will you do?” he asked.

Nina laughed slightly.

“What do you want me to do, George? What’s your brilliant solution?”

“I don’t have one,” he said. “You know that. But if you’re asking me what I want, it’s you. I want you and I want our child and I want a life together. If you want me to come with you now, that’s what I’ll do. If you want me to let you go, that’s what I’ll do, but, Nina…Nina, please don’t go.”

He caught his breath in a sob and she resisted the urge to comfort him. Too often had she done that.

“I can’t make a decision yet,” she said. “Everything rides on tonight.”

“If…if the baby lives?” George asked.

“And if it’s the messiah,” she said curtly.

“What?”

Nina sighed and explained to him everything Mitchell had told her. It really was the final piece in her decision because even if she couldn’t forgive George, she still had to think about the baby. If it survived then Mitchell’s words would take on a frightening reality and she’d have to consider what to do very carefully. Running off on her own, or even with George, might be just as dangerous as staying in a house full of vampires.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” George squawked. “Why didn’t he tell me?”

“I asked him not to,” said Nina. “And I wanted to wait until after tonight just in case it was a moot point.”

“Lovely, just lovely,” he said throwing up his hands. “I don’t get included yet again.”

“George,” said Nina sharply, “you might want to think very carefully about your next words, especially if they’re about you being in the wrong.”

“Right,” he said, looking chastened. “Um, right. So…the baby.”

“We’ll just have to see,” said Nina. “Even if it survives, well, that doesn’t mean anything. We’ll have to wait and see what happens when it’s born.”

“We?” he asked hopefully.

Nina sighed.

“George, I’m…postponing judgment on that. Just wait till tomorrow, okay?”

He nodded, looking crestfallen.

“Okay, okay. Just…I am so sorry, Nina. I would undo…all of it, if I could.”

“I believe you,” she said.

Whether that was enough for her heart, wounded and too many times trampled as it felt, was another question.

George looked up and shuddered.

“It’s coming,” he said.

“Go home,” she said.

“You should,” he argued.

“I’m not going anywhere near those vampires,” she said.

“Then we’re both staying here,” he said firmly.

“Is that safe?” Nina asked, even though she didn’t think there was a need.

“My wolf won’t ever hurt you,” said George. “We already know that.”

“I guess we do,” said Nina.

They talked longer, for at least another hour, until the moon came. There were too many things to explain and not enough time. Nina thought, somehow, even if they were to talk for the next week straight, they’d never say everything that needed to be said. Sometimes they were quiet and Nina appreciated that too. She needed time to think and process what George was saying, what she wanted to say in return. She loved him no less, but there was a raw pain inside of her that she didn’t think could ever go away.

When the moon rose, she didn’t tell him she loved him. She stood next to him, naked, and let the agony take her, without really knowing what she hoped was going to happen.

Somehow it was worse this time, because of the baby, maybe, she didn’t know. What she did know was that she hadn’t thought it could get worse.

When the blackness finally took her, she collapsed into her own mind gratefully and let herself fade away.

When Nina woke up again she was curled in George’s arms. He was still sleeping and she felt a jolt of affection before she remembered. She hastily removed herself before examining herself carefully. There was no blood anywhere, she felt exactly the same.

Relief and dread filled her. She didn’t know which was the more prominent. Of course, now that meant she had to make a decision of some kind. Further confirmation the baby was okay would have to be made, but she knew, she knew it was fine. So now what? Did she merrily traipse back to the house with George, hand in hand? Certainly not. She was not going back, not if the vampires were there. Yes, it was partially her fault that they were there, but she wouldn’t live with them. For her baby’s sake, for her own sanity, and she certainly wasn’t going to spend any time around Daisy.

She glanced down at George’s sleeping form while she dressed. Would he agree to that? Would he stand up to Mitchell? His decision would tell her a lot about what her own should be. Either way, whether she liked it or not, she was going to need Mitchell’s advice and experience about what to do next.

George stirred and then frantically looked around for her. The familiar sight was endearing.

“Are you okay? What happened?” he asked, leaping up.

She held out her hand to keep him from hugging her.

“I think we’re both okay,” she said quietly.

“Thank God,” he said, rubbing his hand over his head.

“I won’t live in that house with the vampires there,” she said quietly. “If you want to stay with me, and I’m not saying that’s what I want, not yet, then you have to make them leave.”

He stared at her for a minute or two and she watched the conflicting emotions cross his face.

“Does that include Mitchell?” he asked carefully.

“No, it doesn’t include your precious Mitchell,” said Nina.

“Okay,” he said finally.

Before they could say anything more Annie popped into view before them.

“Are you okay? I was worried, what happened? Is the baby okay? Are you two coming home? What’s going on?”

“We’re coming,” said Nina.

“Annie!” yelled George, reaching to cover himself.

“Oh, don’t be a sop,” said Annie, turning around anyway. “Right, so I’ll go home and let them know you’re coming. I’m so glad you’re okay, Nina.”

She winked out again and Nina had to laugh at the expression on George’s face.

She wasn’t sure what was going to happen, but at least she could laugh.

***

Mitchell was relieved when Annie finally came back and confirmed that George was with Nina and both of them were safe for the moment. The night wore away and Mitchell tried to sleep, but he mostly stood guard because he didn’t know what was going to happen. His choice was justified when Cara came barreling out of her room and made a run at the attic where Herrick had apparently discovered the joys of train sets.

Daisy wasn’t much help, just sat back and laughed while Mitchell forcibly dragged Cara down the stairs and thrust her onto the sofa.

“You’re keeping my Herrick from me,” Cara said, crying. “I need him, Mitchell, and he needs me.”

“He seems pretty happy with his trains,” said Mitchell, folding his arms. “Now you’re going to tell me what happened.”

"He told me how and I followed it to the letter,” said Cara proudly. “But he don't know me. I've bled myself dry just so he can get a taste and remember, but all he does is scream."

Mitchell shuddered. He could well imagine it.

“That doesn’t help me know how he came back in the first place,” Mitchell said.

“What, you don’t know the secret yourself?” said Daisy. “Maybe Herrick didn’t trust his favorite, after all.”

“He’d be wise not to trust me after I left him, wouldn’t he?” said Mitchell, rolling his eyes at her.

He couldn’t help but feel the truth of what she was saying, however. Herrick had apparently known the secret of true immortality and never bothered to share it with Mitchell, despite all of his promises to make Mitchell his heir.

“You did, you left him all alone,” said Cara. “I’m the one what helped him, gave him everything, I did. So now it’s your turn.”

“How can I help if I don’t know what happened?”

Daisy idly slipped her nail file along her skin.

“Mitchell, you’re not fooling anyone. You just don’t want to die.”

“Yeah, thanks for bringing up the obvious,” he said.

Cara looked up and glanced sharply at Mitchell and then Daisy who gave her a reassuring nod. A look of understanding dawned across her vacant face and she leapt up.

"You help me with my darling, then we'll tell you the secret."

“That’s not the way it works, Cara,” he said.

“Mitchell, you know how it works,” said Daisy. “Give a little; it won’t kill you, might even save your life.”

She winked at him and Mitchell tried not to let his frustration show on his face.

She was right but then, she had no compunction about letting evil vampires roam the earth. He’d tried to leave, tried to just run away, but here they were, following him. First Graham, now these three. He literally couldn’t get away.

Annie came into the room and Cara hissed at her.

“What’s that about?” asked Annie.

“Ignore her,” said Mitchell. “She’s just in a bad mood.”

“Cause you won’t help us,” said Cara. “Cause of her, that ghost, and those dogs.”

“Oh, Cara, the reasons I don’t want to help you are many and varied,” he assured her.

“Why would you want Herrick back anyway?” asked Annie. “He was horrible.”

“You don’t know him,” said Cara. “He rescued me.”

“How is that then?” asked Annie.

"He come for me at night, after my shift. I locked up and took out the rubbish and there he was. He smiled at me and took me in his arms. He says I was his bride in glory and the world was all sparkles and gold."

Mitchell exchanged looks with Daisy who shrugged at him.

"A knee trembler by the bins. That would put stars in any girl's eyes," said Annie.

Cara glared at Annie.

"Herrick chose me because I was special. He made me a part of the master race. Everything I am is for him and he loves me."

Annie shook her head and held up her hands in surrender.

“If you say so. I just hope…you’re not wrong.”

“You’ll see, he’ll show all of you,” said Cara proudly.

“Can we get away from the true love forever talk?” said Daisy, her tone carefully flippant, but Mitchell caught the underlying pain in it.

He should be more sympathetic. Ivan had saved Mitchell’s life at the expense of his wife and that was going to dig at Daisy’s psyche for the rest of her very long existence. Ivan’s words about everyone deserving a Daisy always rested somewhere in the back of Mitchell’s mind, usually when he was looking at Annie, but that was neither here nor there.

There were bigger issues at hand.

“Herrick’s not gonna crack,” said Mitchell. “Even he would have slipped up by now if this was a bluff, so he’s just gone, Cara. Tough luck.”

“Tough luck on you finding out the secret to immortality,” said Cara.

“Doesn’t look like it works very well,” said Annie softly.

Mitchell had to agree with her, of course, that didn’t stop everything inside him from hoping it could help him.

“Blood didn’t work?” he asked Daisy pointedly.

“Nope,” she said. “He wouldn’t take it.”

“I said that,” said Cara. “My poor darling just screams and screams.”

“So he hasn’t actually had any blood?” asked Mitchell. Irrational anger flooded him. Why was this on him? “Didn’t you hold him down?”

“Part of the blood is the willingness for the blood,” said Daisy. “I think the horror’s too much.”

She might be right, but Mitchell had to try. Besides, it would give him great satisfaction to strike fear into Herrick, even if that wasn’t really Herrick. A blank calm washed over him, somehow horrifyingly similar to the feeling right before a kill.

“Maybe you just didn’t try hard enough,” said Mitchell and he turned and walked upstairs.

“Mitchell, no,” said Annie, scrambling after him.

Mitchell found Herrick sitting calmly beside the bed. Something about the stillness of him made Mitchell very afraid. Herrick had always had a great capacity for patience and cunning. Seeing this quiet figure was less satisfying than the shrinking coward of before.

“It’s you again,” said Herrick. “Are you here to hurt me?”

“Yeah,” said Mitchell, flashing his eyes black.

Herrick flinched and shrunk away, but didn’t say anything.

Mitchell grabbed his knife from his pocket, forcing Herrick down onto the bed, and slashed his own wrist. Blood gushed out and he held it over Herrick’s mouth, holding the man’s body down with his own, and making sure his mouth stayed open with the non-bleeding hand. Herrick wriggled under him, trying to spit up the blood, but Mitchell didn’t give him an option.

“Mitchell, stop it!” cried Annie, pulling on his arm.

Daisy pulled her off his arm, slinging a comfortable arm around her shoulders.

“Easy, baby girl, this could work. Cara could never bear to hold him down for long.”

“Mitchell, this is wrong,” said Annie.

“He’s gotta remember, Annie,” Mitchell gritted out.

“Mitchell, stop!” came a new voice.

Everyone looked up to see George and Nina standing in the doorway.

Mitchell closed his eyes and didn’t move.

“George, you don’t understand.”

George moved forward, shoving Cara out of the way, and pulled Mitchell roughly. Mitchell let himself be pulled, and put one hand on his arm to stop the bleeding.

Herrick crawled up the bed until his back was against the wall and shuddered. Mitchell could see the desire in his eyes though. Herrick’s eyes were black and his tongue kept whipping out to lick the blood covering his mouth.

“Nina, help me,” Herrick whimpered.

Nina didn’t move, but her face looked pitying.

“George, you have to let me do this,” Mitchell said.

George shook his head and grabbed an old cane off the floor, leaning against the playhouse.

Mitchell felt his body freeze as George transformed into someone calm and purposeful, holding the cane against Mitchell’s chest.

Mitchell slowly backed away and George followed him, out towards the door.

The smell of blood filled the air and Mitchell struggled to keep himself from extending his teeth. Almost every other thought flew out of his head.

"What are you doing, George? Are you really gonna do it?” George didn’t say anything, just motioned for everyone else to stand back and not follow them. Mitchell was afraid, because this wasn’t the George he knew. “I don't think you have it in you,” Mitchell said, angry. He looked at George’s body. “Your hand is shaking, it's shaking so hard. Who do you think you are, pointing a stick at me?"

Mitchell was down the stairs now and George herded him into his own room.

Mitchell made to move past him again and George elbowed him in the face.

“Shut up,” said George.

“That man knows how to save me, George,” said Mitchell.

“And this is the way to save your life, is it?” asked George. “By forcing him to become a killer again?”

“I was feeding him my own blood, in case you didn’t notice.”

“Look where that got you,” George said coldly.

“You killed him before, why are you getting squeamish?”

"I never wanted to be a killer of anything or anybody but I did it," said George.

"I know. I know and you did it for me," Mitchell said, some sort of rationality coming back.

George nodded and finally dropped the cane, closing the door behind him.

"I did it for us and I'm doing this for us. Herrick is a vampire. You can’t bring him back."

"I'm not doing this on a whim,” said Mitchell, pleading. “It's costing me. You have no idea what it's costing me."

"If it's costing you so much then don't do it," George said, pleading in his own turn.

"I have to. I'm not asking you to be a part of it," Mitchell said.

"You are. You're asking me to look away. I've always looked away with you. But that has to end now because I have to stop you because you can't stop yourself."

"It's just one more time."

George huffed and hung his head.

"You're like a drug addict. One more hit and I'll be done. No. No. It's now."

"You're asking me to give up everything," said Mitchell, sitting on the bed, putting his head in his hands.

George cleared his throat and spoke softly.

"I'm going to be a father now. I have to teach my child the right way to live. I have to teach my son or daughter about humanity and that everyone's worthy of redemption no matter what they've done, that someone can be forgiven their sins no matter how unforgiveable. That is the ultimate test.” George paused and then spoke again, his voice shaking. “But I also have to teach them when to stop forgiving, when to protect themselves, when to let go of something when it's harmful to them."

"What does that even mean?" Mitchell asked, looking up.

George’s eyes were wet, but he wasn’t crying.

"You're the best friend I've ever had, ever will have. But I will turn my back on you. I will wipe you from my memory and I will never mention your name again. I will never tell my son or daughter that I had a friend called Mitchell. It will be as if we'd never met. That's it. Now you make your choice."

“Why are you doing this to me, George?” Mitchell said, feeling his own tears in his eyes. "I feel like I'm losing my mind. I'm so tired and I'm losing everything."

“You don’t have to,” said George. “I don’t want you to. But now’s the time. I have to think about Nina and the baby, first and foremost. Never again can I look away. You think about that.”

George walked out and closed the door behind him. Mitchell slid down to the floor and tried not to curl into a ball.

He might be top of the food chain on this planet, but he felt lower than low, arm bleeding all over his bed, his life and future in shambles.

“Is this what you wanted, Lia?” he spoke to the air. “You didn’t even give me everything; you’re just taking it away.”

“They may have set this up,” said Annie’s voice, suddenly in front of him. “But you’re the one making it happen.”

“Annie, not now,” he said.

He didn’t want her to see him like this.

“It’s okay to be afraid,” she said. She knelt down in front of him, putting her hands on his face. “This isn’t the way, don’t you see that? Let us help you.”

“You don’t know how,” he said.

“You’re forgetting I have a personal in with the other side.”

“Annie, I don’t want you anywhere near them,” he said.

“Well, dad, that’s not your decision,” she said, dropping her hands.

“George says he’ll never mention my name again,” said Mitchell, not wanting to argue the point with her, it would only make her more stubborn.

“That’s up to you, isn’t it?” said Annie. “What you choose for yourself.”

“I’m gonna die,” he said, wiping at his eyes. “Herrick’s my only hope.”

“With that attitude you will,” she said. “Stop wallowing and make a stand.”

“It’s not that simple,” he said.

“You’re unbelievable,” she said hotly, standing. “Even when you’re at your lowest of lows you’re so arrogant you can’t imagine anyone else has the answers. Fine, stay here and get dragged to hell, I know just the place for you.”

He looked up and she was gone. He indulged himself in weeping. Nothing about this was fair, but then again, it’s not like he’d ever been fair to others.

What was it to be? Was he going to lose everything that had ever made him happy earlier or later? Could he lose it on his own terms?

Yes, yes he would.

Mitchell stood up and went into the washroom and cleaned and bound his arm and changed his clothes. When he looked less like the victim of a vampire attack he went back downstairs.

Everyone sans Herrick was in the living room.

“I choose you, George,” Mitchell said quietly when he came in the room.

George let out a sigh and simply nodded.

“Nina, do you want to say anything?” he asked.

“I can’t stay here with any other vampires,” Nina said. “So, Mitchell, both George and I leave, or Cara, Daisy, and Herrick do.”

Every inch of Mitchell protested against that. If he let them leave now, his only hope of salvation went out the door with them. Of course, he’d made his decision sitting on his bedroom floor. Resentment against Nina flared inside him and he tried to push it down again.

“If they go, they’ll kill,” he said.

“We’ll kill anyway, Mitchell honey,” said Daisy. “Come with us. You were making progress, I saw him wanting your blood like he never wanted Cara’s or mine.”

“Make my Herrick whole again,” Cara said. “He’ll forgive you. We’ll rule the world together, the four of us.”

Mitchell shook his head. He couldn’t deny a part of him wanted to go.

“I’m not doing that anymore,” he said. “When you go, you go alone.”

George and Annie looked at him with relief and Nina with something like pity.

“Your loss,” said Daisy, then left the room singing something that sounded like, “Mitchell’s gonna die, Mitchell’s gonna die,” under her breath.

Mitchell watched them herd Herrick out the door, Herrick who looked at Mitchell and he could have sworn Herrick smiled. Then Herrick looked at Nina and positively grinned.

“Goodbye, Nina,” he said.

Nina smiled at him and Mitchell felt a chill pass over his spine.

They were left, the four of them, standing in the doorway.